09.02.2021 *hearts*

 Today is the day that I was embraced warmly by you.

Today is also the day that I somehow drove you to the corner by asking what am I in your life.

I wanted a label,

and I was actually scared that one day this sweet dream of mine would pop,

and things will become the worst nightmare.

At least, knowing what am I in your life will help me to determine my feelings in the future.

I didn't expect you would ask me the ultimate question,

and I am sorry if it felt like I forced you to do so.

But my answer is yes.

And no matter what, it has always been yes.

And I am ready to go through this together with you.

Let's embrace each other strengths and weaknesses as we go through each day together.

Thank You God for answering my prayer.

Thank You so much.

The day I am officially taken but not announced to the world. 

Jenny~

Thank you.

 Thank you for being at my side during my mood swing session last couple of days.

Thinking back about the past,

none of the guys really comforted me during my emo sessions,

instead just stayed quiet or making me feel even worse by having to attend their emo sessions instead.

I have been so many people's centre of relief,

and to be able to be relieved by someone else,

to be able to be comforted by someone else,

and to be able to laugh at silly random TMI and pop quiz,

is something that I really appreciate.

Thank you, you,

for making me felt accompanied the whole time I was feeling down,

for making me feel that you are right next to me the whole time,

for making me laugh at your sudden TMI and also pop quiz that makes me blur and speechless.

Thank you, you.

Jenny~

Warm and fuzzy

 Thank you for making me feel warm and fuzzy yesterday.

It's been a while not feeling the warmth from someone else.

And it's indeed quite some time not sitting side by side with someone who makes me feel so safe and warm.

Thank you, you.

Jenny~

February

 February.

The 2nd month of 2021.

And I am still working from home, 

not able to see my kids at school due to pandemic,

staying at home to avoid crowds and to safeguard myself as well as my family.

It hasn't been a great start of the year,

and I thank God that I am surrounded by wonderful people who kept me company.

Thank you for keeping me accompanied through daily texts and occasional calls.

It made me laughed and smiled a lot while going through difficult times of working at home.

Thank you making me feel safe and warm at the same time too.

Thank you for sending food and spending time with me at my home.

It meant a lot to me that you would take out some time to come and see me.

How silly was I before this.

Thinking that I wouldn't be able to meet someone better than the previous one,

for keeping hold on to the guy who brought more misery that happiness in my life,

and for beating myself up over a guy who made felt insecure the whole time.

How silly was I to think that no one could replace him.

And now, right here,

I am so thankful that you are present in my life,

making me feel so warm and happy.

Thank you, you.

You indeed meant a lot to me in the past, present and hopefully in the future.

Jenny. 

Unexpectedly

 Just when we thought 2021 would be a start of a probably great year, 

it feels like chapter 2 of 2020.

At the time of writing, Miri, which is the city I am living in is in red zone due to Covid-19,

and now undergoing CMCO to keep it controlled from getting spread even further.

Uncertainties started to flow in.

Going out for necessities or for leisure seems to be impossible for a moment now.

Going back to school for teaching seems to be the scariest thing to do especially when being in the red zone.

Not mentioning the weirdest weather where it has been raining and pouring almost daily,

causing wreak and havoc in certain parts of the city.

It has been only 13 days into 2021,

and yet, things seem to be getting more serious.

It feels like driving in an endless tunnel with no lights gradually.

Thank God, I have my sister beside me to keep me off from overthinking.

Thank God, I was able to call my parents daily just to update what's happening on both sides.

Thank God, I still have my best friend to text though not as often as before just to keep in touch.

and thank God, I have you who would text and the occasional calls to make me laugh and forget all these darkness for a while.

I hope that things will get better soon.

I hope we can meet up soon.

And I hope to see you and hear you laugh endlessly soon.

Jenny~

The feast.

 After a long journey, 

she had reached her destination.

She walked through the town and was in the middle of a feast.

A wedding feast, to be exact.

With the bride and groom dancing with delight,

and with the guests clapping, tapping and enjoying the feast,

she came across someone who looked familiar.

She walked nearer and nearer to get a clear glimpse of him,

and who knew it was someone who had accompanied her in her previous train journey,

a friend who was close for a period of time before he dropped off at the other station.

He smiled and said hello,

she smiled and waved back.

And it's the start of a new beginning.

A new beginning in a new town,

surrounded with new people,

and feeling warm again.

Thank God she decided to stop by,

Thank God she decided to join the feast,

Thank God he turned and said hello.

This is going to be another long stay.

And may this be a permanent stay.

Jenny

New Year resolution?

I guess it's not too late to wish all a Happy New Year 2021!

May this year be a better year to all, 

and that this is the year where we all would be able to bloom in our most wonderful ways.

I do know that entering 2021 with the current pandemic scare,

and also, with lots of obstacles and hardships that stemmed from the pandemic,

each and everyone of us is going through a tough time.

But may this tough time bear fruits,

and that all of us would be able to go through it and eventually, see the light at the end of this tunnel.

As for me,

I entered 2021 in a different way compared to last few years.

This year, I was accompanied by my family and a close friend who have kept me accompanied during New Year eve through texts.

And when I thought that it might be over there,

it didn't.

Thank God for sending me such a wonderful person whose by my side from the day I met him by accident till now.

May good things come from this.

New Year resolutions for 2021!

I do not have much resolutions to be made this year but here are some of the goals that I wish to achieve b the end of the year.

1. Maintain my 62kg, pls! 

2. Appreciate and cherish the moment spent with him.

3. Appreciate and cherish myself each day.

I guess that's it.

2021 will be a year where I will try my best to reduce my workaholic attitude and spend more time on myself and this newfound warmth. 

May 2021 be a great year despite all the negativity and dark holes.

Jenny~