Our one year.

One year.

365 days being called someone's girlfriend,

being pampered, paid attention and loved for 365 days.

Thank you dear.

Thank you for being at my side all this while for 365 days and more days.

Thank you for filling up my days with laughter with your acts and words,

Thank you for making me feel so loved each day,

and thank you for making me feel safe and secure everyday.

May we continue to be together spending each day, 

and laugh together,

eat together,

and making lovely memories together for a very long time.

May we continue to brace the good and the bad times together,

and may we continue to be patient with one another,

and grow more in love with one another.

Happy one year anniversary, love.

Jenny.

Resolutions.

So, resolutions. Let's take a look at my resolutions in the previous year 

1. Maintain my 62kg, pls!

- I wasn't able to keep to this resolution when I have such a loving and caring boyfriend! So basically, being at home almost all the time somehow made me forgot about the strict diet I had and started to follow up with my cravings. And I actually gained up to 66kg at one point of the year. However, after my parents were back and started to control my eating, I am glad to say that I am now at 63kg and still working hard to go back to 62kg this year!

2. Appreciate and cherish the moment spent with him.

- Achieved! We had so much things going on with each other and finding time to be at each other's side regardless of just chilling at home or going out for cake and food adventures. And I cherished each of those moments! Just hoping my boyfriend would see less phone and see more of me though!

3. Appreciate and cherish myself each day.

- And yes I do. I started to tell myself that I am good enough and that everything is okay. Despite there are times when I was really having low confidence over my legs with dark marks and spots, but I am trying my best to ignore the naysayers and focus on my own comfort! And I also went for an operation to remove the cyst in my mouth which had been causing me lots of discomfort for the past 6 years. It was indeed a painful process but hoping that all this would eventually end well and I will get back the normal life like everyone had.

So 2022 resolutions?

1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle as in physical and mental.

2. Spend more time with my parents and also cherish the lovely moments with my boyfriend

3. Seek for new opportunities in my career!

2022, I am excited to what you are going to bring for me!

Jenny~

A recap

 Hi!

It's been a while not updating this blog,

and it's not mainly because I was lazy, but I found that there are less things to ponder upon these days,

and more happier things to cherish with my loved ones.

So let's recap.

2021 started of well with us going back to school for offline teaching,

and that lasted for 3 months before the pandemic struck us again and we were left to do online teaching for almost 7 months,

the bright side was that I was able to do a lot of my own things at home despite being stuck at online lessons,

I was able to brush up my cooking skills and whipping up wonderful meals and take-aways for my boyfriend,

I was also able to spend more time with him and also giving some time off to myself.

The down side of being stuck at home and dealing with online stuffs was that it was endless.

Endless calls and unnecessary demands of works,

constantly being called upon admin to do their jobs,

and worst of it all, I experienced burnout which was something that I wouldn't experiences if it was offline lessons.

I got emotional, easily irritated and worst of all, anxiety and frequent panic attacks,

and it somehow affected my career and my balance of life which was quite sad.

I also had a brush with the pandemic in which my boyfriend was diagnosed as Covid positive,

and I, as his close contact.

It was really scary and worrying at the time as I didn't know what else to do aside from that,

but thank God, all was okay.

I was negative and he had fully recovered by now.

And that's it. 

There was no major thing happening in 2021 and it was quite a mundane and less exciting year,

but it was all fun-filled when spending it with my boyfriend who brought me for ice-cream and cake adventures,

and contributed to our weight gain.

Nevertheless, 2021 was okay.

And here hoping for a better and even more exciting year ahead!

Not too late to wish all a Happy New Year and may this year bring more love, comfort and exciting opportunities no matter in what you are doing!

Jenny~

Christmas!

 Christmas this year has brought upon lots of joy compared to last year!

My parents are finally back from Brunei and we were able to celebrate this day together with my boyfriend.

It was also on this day that I, for the first time, brought back a guy to meet my parents.

And it is a huge thing for me as I never bring any guys home to meet my parents or even post any pictures with any guys on my social medias.

To be able to bring back a man who has been there for me all this while during this pandemic to my parents is definitely a huge thing for me,

and honestly, I was a bit nervous when they met him as my parents do have quite a standard of liking,

but thank God, all went well and they were super fine meeting him.

On this day last year, it was our first date out on Christmas eve with my lousy outfit and his dashing looks,

and on this day this year, I thank God that we are strong together and moving on to a new phase which is meeting my parents.

Thank you for being so kind and understanding,

and thank you for being there for me all the time despite how busy work is nowadays.

To more Christmases together, love!

Jenny~

His birthday

 Happy birthday to my awesome and most supportive boyfriend!

I never thought that this year I would be able to celebrate someone else's birthday aside from mine,

and what more to say, my own boyfriend's birthday!

Honestly, after being single for so long, I somehow forgot how to celebrate my other half's birthday,

thus, the last minute card and also the mini celebration.

And from there, I realised that I need to start working hard to plan more wonderful events,

and also prepare more meaningful gifts like how I used to years ago.

To my love who might or might not be reading this post,

happy birthday love.

May you be blessed with lots of love, good health and lots of money so we can on cake and food adventure more often!

And may we celebrate more birthdays together in the future!

Jenny~

10th month

 Happy 10th month anniversary to both of us!
Last year on this date, I was super stoked of losing weight and waiting to attend my friend's wedding,

and wondering if I am able to meet someone new during the wedding.

Fast forward to today, 

I am now with not someone new, but someone who have always been there!

Thank you for being so patient and considerate with me despite my frequent mood swings,

and thank you for bringing me to eat and always telling me that I look okay despite giving me big eye reactions when I update about my current weight.

Though sometimes I do feel a bit angry or sad when I wasnt given the same amount of attention as you are with your phone,

you always know how to make things okay.

Thank you, dear.

To more fun times together,

and to more future adventures and laughters!

Jenny

Updates.

 It's been a while not updating this blog except for the monthly anniversary with my love.

It has been a really tough journey during this year's pandemic,

and honestly speaking, it has taken a toll on my physical and mental health as well.

When it comes to working at home, it has been exhausting and tiring.

People think that its easy working at home,

that we all just lie on the couch, attends some online classes or sending offline tasks to our pupils,

and then we can relax and go shopping or binge watching our series,

but honestly it doesn't happen in such a way.

I have been having anxiety and panic attacks for several nights now,

and it has caused me to have difficulty to sleep and rest when it is supposedly time to rest.

Waking up in the morning, 

sitting right in front of the screen, doing online Google Meets with the pupils,

assigning tasks for them, checking their attendance, keying in their attendance in two different platforms,

preparing tasks and lesson plans for the next day,

finishing up school works here and there,

attending Google Meets for workshops, briefing and all sort of things till 5pm.

and then, getting calls and last minute texts about work.

It is seriously frustrating and upsetting.

and my mental health has been seriously affected to the point of getting anxiety attacks,

of getting burnt out,

of getting easily annoyed when getting calls from work,

of losing temper easily when last minute calls for work and sometimes matter unrelated to me.

And it has also caused me to gain weight due to this hidden stress.

It's not easy dealing with all of this and I really wish to go back to school and work normally.

I really wish to get back to work, and finally have my deserving rest at home.

Instead of messing up my work time and rest time at home.

I can't imagine the immense stress of having to deal all of this if I have a family in the future.

Gosh.

My mind is tired and unproductive,

and all the things that I want to do and focus on are all in arrays due to this pandemic.

The unforgiving higher authorities that seem to ignore the time that we should be resting,

The endless works that are not bringing any benefits to our career and our kids,

The illogical workshops that seem to share the best practices and yet can't be applied in the current situations,

seriously, can you just stop?

When the officer asked me the other day if we did any motivation talks or workshops for teachers,

all I could think of to answer him is this,

give us a break. 

stop pushing us to attend meaningless things.

and stop pressuring us to achieve the "perfect data"

Jenny