Lucky

You know how people always tell me how lucky am I?
How lucky of me getting into a primary school and being taught by Filipinos teachers,
that has helped me build a strong foundation in my fluency.
How lucky of me getting into secondary school in Miri and entering the class even though I am the youngest amongst all the students in it because of my year of birth.
How lucky of me of getting good results in PMR even though I only started studying in that school when I was Form 2.
How lucky of me of getting good results in SPM despite my difficulties in comprehending Physics and Additional Mathematics,
and how lucky I am to be able to enter into teaching field despite being rejected from matriculation, JPA scholarship and public universities,

Entering into teaching field was a dream that came true for me,
and I was blessed with the luck of going after my dream.
When I knew where I was going,
I was able to say that I am lucky to  be given the chance to go to Sabah to pursue my dream.
Lucky enough to meet with awesome and sporting lecturers that taught me a lot about life,
lucky to meet with wonderful friends that have been there for me through thick and thin,
and still connecting with them all this while though not as frequent as last time.

After leaving the college,
I was lucky again for being posted to a place that was my home.
Lucky to be in a school with lovely colleagues,
with plenty of opportunities to upgrade myself and to show what I have,
and chances to learn new things.
After all this, I should be grateful, shouldn't I?
I am grateful for the luck that have bestowed on me.
I am indeed thankful for being able to sail smoothly in this one part of life.

But when it comes to relationship,
I find myself out of luck.
I think I have told the story millions of time in my previous posts,
and I thought it might change once I get posted out.
But it seems that it is still the same.
When I thought I was lucky to meet one,
I wasn't.
It still goes back to the same old story.

Just for once, I wish that some of the old luck will spread in my relationship as well.
I wish that someone will look at me,
and say that he has finally found me after all this while.
I wish that someone will pursue me relentlessly,
offering their shoulder and companion to me at all times,
constantly reassuring me that everything will be okay,
and look into my eyes,
telling me not to worry because he will be there to catch me when I fall.
Doing all the things that I have been doing,
and giving back the feelings the I have been giving out,
and finally make me feel wanted
and needed.

Jenny~