6.02.2013

do you believe that life's a drama?

a drama with us as the main characters and those who passes by are supporting characters...

with all that is happening in our life creates a storyline for our own,

and with all the conflicts we have as the climax in the story...

life is indeed like a drama...

and because it is a drama,

we act according to how we want it to be,

but sometimes, it got so complicated that we do not whether we should carry on this acting anymore..

when we decided to be real and show everyone the facts,

we tend to stop ourselves from doing so..

somehow, we got so immersed in acting and making ourselves looking strong and happy outside until we forgot how we felt inside..

every laughter equals to every tears shed,

every strong looks we shows equals to how weak our little hearts are,

life always takes on an unexpected twist,

one day it could be a beautiful drama filled with love and tender care,

another day it could be another sad story filled with heartbreaks and tears..

when i thought of my own life, i feel that my life has been beautiful all this while,

but no matter how beautiful an item is, there will always be a fragile side..

maybe because of that every beautiful stuffs comes with a warning,

"Handle With Care."

Jenny~

3.02.2013

can't wait to go home..
i guess i need to go home and gain back the strength that i needed the most to endure this whole year..
i might look strong from outside, but inside, its as if everything is broken,
im stress thinking of studies, practicum that seems difficult, personal relationships that sometimes i cannot endure it.. seriously, its been quite a while but sometimes, i just wish some ppl would remember that im actually a human.. someone with feelings, someone who will get hurt when she is subjected to ur bullies, ur inconsiderate jokes and words.. not everyone can endure it ok.. try being in my position and get hurled with all cruel jokes that u think is funny..

i think i should start to search for something to tell all my feelings instead of this blog... this blog has been contaminated with all my emo-ness and complaints.. haha.. as if those whose reading this could even help me.. all they is to just read this and consider it petty or tell ppl how pathetic i am in my blog.. how i wish i could be someone who doesnt have feelings.. at least i dont feel hurt by all those words, accusations, meaningless stare as if i have took someone's boyfriend away, those words telling me how happy i should feel when im not and how lucky i am when im not..

sometimes i wish im in a drama when one day a guy just come up to me and tell me he would be my shield from all these things... but everything is just a dream.. a beautiful dream like the bubbles in the story "Little Mermaid" which will burst when it rises to air... mine too, it burst and left me lying on a harsh and cold reality..

*ignore this.. its another post when the hormones are raging~*

Jenny~

31.01.2013

today is the last day of January..

the whole month was somehow filled with a lot of laughter..

somehow i found comfort with my friends...

though they might not know what i have been thru,

but they have been filling me with lots of love and laughter..

something that i need to strengthen myself for this particular year...

in this month, somehow i did some reflection..

i learn to start to walk away from the past and shut my mouth, eyes, ears and mind from talking, seeing or listening about stuffs that is concerning him...

somehow, i would not feel anything by doing this way..

i guess my new resolution should be forget the past, move on in the present and looking forward in the future.

i hope i'm able to do this..

d(^_^)b

Jenny~

24.01.2013

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me. Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in.

This is supposedly a post that i got from facebook which i copied and pasted from my senior.. and somehow when i read this, it touches me.. somehow i felt that i could be or maybe someone like this.. 

someone whose always with a smile,
someone who looks strong,
someone whose always willing to help,
might be someone whose always in tears at night,
someone whose weak inside,
and someone who needs help but unable to voice it out..

i dont know.. 
i guess i am that someone.

Jenny~

21.01.2013

Went thru my blog and reading back my past posts which actually make me laugh a bit.. i didnt know i actually wrote so much in my blog.. and i realised that there were so many things that actually i have endured all this while.. and i came across one which is quite interesting which is i actually listed down the type of man i will get marry.. hehe... so let's go thru with it together ya:

1. someone who still thinks i'm pretty even if i have no makeup on & even if my hair is messy.
2. someone who still play with my hair while i'm lying down on his thighs.3. someone who will give me a back and head massage whenever i feel pressured and stressed4. someone who will buy me my comfort food whenever i feel bad5. someone who will treat me right6. someone who could get along with my family and friends7. someone who will not think i'm stupid8. someone who's very responsible to take care of me and our family9. someone who will spoil me10. someone who will cook for me11. someone who will surprise me, big or small12. someone who will watch fireworks with me13. someone who's willing to do spontaneous stuffs with me14. someone who hugs me on my waist surprisingly16. someone who will never try to hurt me17. someone who knows how to cry in front of me18. someone i can trust19. someone who trusts me20. SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME THE WAY I LOVES HIM!


hehehe... so what do u think? will i or will not i find this guy? well, frankly speaking, this is what i dreamt in the past.. right now, i only wish for a guy that could accept me and my family, as well as love me as how i love him.. no more comfort pillow and staying-when-u-know-ur-leaving type of guy.. life's cruel.. they never give u what u want.. but God is always right.. He will know when to give and take.. =)

Jenny~

20.01.2012

followed someone's blog and found that what he wrote is indeed inspiring..
i mean my lecturer actually presented his blog and about his enthusiasm in teaching that got him so far...
and it actually touches me that there IS someone out there who has this strong passion in teaching,
someone who didnt thought of giving up and thus earn himself the opportunities to go further..
if its me, i seriously doubt my talent and my passion..
hence, reading his blog actually helps me not only to learn something new but also help me to look deep inside me and reflect..

so today's post is dedicated to him..
may ur passion towards teaching and building future generation keeps burning.. =)
and may u continuously share with us, ur blog readers.. =)

apistakkisah.blogspot.com

Jenny~

16.01.2013

my friend told me, 

he treated u in such a way, how could u still think of him?

i couldnt answer her..

bcoz i dont have the answer at all..

i asked myself, thought about it over and over again, telling myself to stop thinkin bout it..

but when im all alone and listens to my songs, his memories came back again..

one part of me wishes that i would be able to get answer of this long-forgotten question,

another part of me wishes to just forget about it and move on with something worth it in life..

sigh..

if and only if i could just stop thinking so much...

Jenny~