4.03.2013

sometimes its the memories that kills,

sometimes its the loneliness that makes it too unbearable,

sometimes the thought of it that creates tear,

sometimes the regrets that makes it too painful,

one day i'm strong and the next day, i fall back to my old place..

one day, i smile and the next day, i shed tears with my pillow..

one day, i shine brightly and the next day, i hide in darkness..

one day, i enjoyed being with everyone and the next day, i just wanna hide myself under my blankets..

maybe that's me..

so unpredictable at times..

if and only if i have the "delete" button..

maybe i would not have to go through all these..

Jenny~

new principle?

i learnt one more thing.
if u want to start a relationship, start one where u know u would not waste ur time..
if u just wanna start a relationship for the sake of having a companion, having someone to hug u, having someone who hold ur hands but never thought of the future, then why waste time?
and sometimes i dont get how some ppl says that they are not in a relationship with this guy or girl.. but calling him or her all the pet names and yet insist that they are currently single? weird, confusing and frustrating for me..

for my friends who thinks getting engaged and married is something so wonderful and magical, i have several questions for you.
1. are you ready to be committed with your one and only husband or wife for the rest of your life?
2. are you ready to sacrifice for your one and only husband or wife after getting married?
3. are you ready to have kids?
4. are you ready to juggle your time between becoming a faithful wife or husband and work without neglecting one another?
5. are you sure you are able to become a good wife and a mother or a good husband and a father?
6. are you ready to accept everything about your husband or wife as in everything?
and last but not least, are you sure you would not regret and turn back, saying that you would rather enjoy your carefree life first before getting married?

so to those who wanna get married or engaged,
if u have found someone whose worth it and someone you really know like the back of your hand,
if you have found someone whom you are able to accept his or her weaknesses and accept his or her as he or she is,
if you have someone whom you have attached to for a good period of time for you to know that person well, then i would really encourage you to do so..

if not, dont sacrifice for something that you might never know when you will regret... dont get engaged or married just for the sake u are jealous seeing others are doing the same thing... and dont get engaged or married just for the sake of thinking it would be happy and everlasting like in the movies.. it isnt coz it is filled with responsibilities and commitments which is easier said than done..

as for me, i need a break from all these things.. so am not thinking about marriage and getting engaged.. the most important thing is for me to graduate, work and earn money for my family.. relationship? engagement? marriage? i leave it to God..

Jenny~

2.03.2013

Part 2 is currently unavailable.. haha... maybe coz the post might hurt ppl's feelings or might cause me to get in trouble with the authorities back in my college.. so i decided to just skip that part.. hehe... so yeah, we've entered March... a month filled with lots of assignments, presentations and events to go...

and guess what, i'm 0.05% charged up for all these.. in other words, am super lazy to even look at those courseworks or presentations.. so someone pls lead me to a pool of inspiration where i can take a dip and get inspired to complete everythin quickly, pls... haha...

and bcoz im so lazy, so i'll end this blog post here...

may all those whose reading this to start closing ur tabs especially facebook, and start heading back to ur work ya.. hehe..

Jenny~

28.02.2013 (part 1)

well, if u realised that this post is being divided into part in which i would like to start off with something with less burden.. and of course its about my life.. haha.. so i gut bugged up by this status update by a friend of mine and somehow what he said was true... we all need to have trust within a friendship.. and if we trust one another, we would tell stuffs to them and make them feel important.. i mean i feel important when people tell me stuffs that they rarely tell to others.. so when i read that, it actually sparked me to reflect and thought of what i have been doing..

sitting in a corner and hiding away the truth does not make me move on, but instead make me stuck to a position and also have to bear with what ppl thought otherwise.. so i took the courageous step to say that i would answer the truth whenever ppl ask.. and i told this friend of mine.. reaction was unexpectably big and yeah, i could imagine why he was shocked with the sudden confession.,, but the aftermath was good.. i received compliments and words of advice that really make me feel that by doing this decision, i would certainly help me to move another step further..

sometimes making the first move is super difficult but in order to stay alive and make wonders in life, i told myself to lift my head up and start to move.. because once im stuck, the feeling would never fade and i would suffer in silence again.. its time to move out of the corner and start looking at the rays of sunlight that just awaits for me to create miracles again...

so, right now, i feel much better..
much better than before.. =)

Jenny~

23.02.2013

i'm still not strong enough to say i'm ok.

i'm still not strong enough to say i moved.

and i'm still stuck in this place.

no matter how much i think i have moved,

it seems i didnt move at all..

i'm still stuck at this old place, recalling all those memories and shedding unnecessary tears..

and i dont know what am i supposed to do anymore.

Jenny~

21.02.2013

CNY holidays just passed and we're back to schedule again...
and it seems like this semester is somehow less stressful and a bit enjoyable..
well, at least before practical right?
but somehow, i'm taking things a little too easy this semester..
and while i'm updating this blog, i realised that i would be in a nightmare if i dont start anything now..
coz right now i have these particular stuffs to settle with:

1. TSL 3110 assignment which include lesson planning, planning of scheme of work and microteaching.. the "best" stuffs of all are its 100% coursework.. so yeah, 0% complete in this one..
2. LGA assignment which includes justifications and a short play which also carries 100%.. and its in progress but written justification seems like it is still hanging in the air.. haha...
3. EDU where i am supposed to write about marriage ceremony of my own race.. and its kinda difficult coz my family's own ethnicity is kinda rare to do research on... so am counting on the notes in the internet which is almost the same with my other chinese friends.. and yeah, 0% not complete...
4. another subject paper which is something related to classroom management where my group  is supposed to do presentation and yeah, until now, nothing has grown from the discussion...

and there's a lot more of activities and sports coming soon... gosh, somehow i feel like i have been too comfortable this sem.. gotta gear up before practicum starts which is on april.. must find a way to kick off mr. lazy away... haha.. hope everything will go well.. =)

Jenny~

14.02.2013

Its Thurday which coincides with Valentine's day..
well, lucky me coz im back home and locked out from the society who might be now holding hands, walking together, looking all lovey-dovey and stuffs like that..
somehow, i need a break from looking at those stuffs...
coz love isnt as wonderful as one might thought it would be..

well, it wouldnt be great spoiling ppl's mood about love..
but for me, if u love someone, everyday is Valentine's day..
we dont need one particular date to remind us how much we love someone..
well, i love ppl around me that loves me too..
those who cherished me in their life, i love all of u..
those who brought light and laughter in my life, i love u guys for making laugh till i drop..
for those who left and gave me unwanted memories, i love u ppl too coz without u ppl, i wouldnt know the right ways to go and how harsh reality is..

so, in conclusion, Happy Valentine's day to those whose single and taken..
those whose single, ur Mr/Mrs. Valentine might be still searching for u.. so just wait for God's miracle..
for those whose taken, love the ones u have and appreciate them like how they love and appreciate u..

Jenny~