Back to normal

She is now back to square one.

After going through so much,

after fighting with tears,

and pain from overthinking,

as well as self doubts,

she is finally free from that.

She finally sees for herself,

how things was supposed to be at the end of the day.

No matter how she wants to try to conceal the truth,

it is already out there.

And it is time for her to accept and embrace the changes that come.

It was not easy,

to feel cold when she felt warmth,

to feel unwanted when she was once wanted,

to feel ignored when she was paid with attention,

to feel normal when she felt special once upon a time,

and to feel a familiar presence,

which now slowly felt unfamiliar.

She knew from the start,

that this is something that has no good ending,

but what to do?

She fell for it, and then fell deeper,

and received the otherwise.

She thought she was back to normal,

but the truth is she wasn't.

No matter how much she denied it,

she was still hoping.

Hoping that he will turn back and search for her again,

but the truth is he isn't.

And it is time to stop shedding tears for him.

It is time to go back to square one.

Where she is used to having piles of books in front of her,

a hot cup of latte of her very own,

and embrace her own world,

without having to wait for his presence anymore.

It's time to go back loving herself,

and turn to God,

and find joy in Him.

it's time to go back to square one.

and when the train left for the next station,

she stopped looking out the window.

She knows He is working wonders for her,

and she waits patiently.

Jenny~