A talk

Today, I went out for lunch with a close colleague of mine.
We talked about school stuffs and I mentioned about my neighbour who has a son,
and we laughed and teased around a bit about this new "good view",
when suddenly she asked about you.

She asked whether both of us contacted one another or not,
whether you find me during my birthday,
or whether we ever met up once in a while,
in which I answered, "No."

We talked about the reasons why you left,
why you decided to turn your back against me and failed to recognise me anymore,
and she asked,
why did I ever fall in love with you.
And that took me back to the time when you were the nicest,
sweetest,
kindest man that I ever met in my whole life.
The man who created sparks and joy,
The man who I would always go to whenever I need to talk or celebrate something,
and the man who I thought is finally the right one,
but things happened to be different at the end of the tunnel.

She asked me if one day you find me back,
apologise and tell me all the reasons on why you did this on the first place,
would I ever accept you back?
And this is my answer,
I will still reply your messages,
but I am too afraid to give you another chance.
I am scared to be hurt once more,
to feel insecurities all over again,
and to go through another depressing cycle.

Things happened for a reason.
You entered my life for a reason,
and you left for a reason which is unknown to me.
I am currently happy with my life,
excited on what is going to happen each day,
and always keeping faith that after you,
there will be another one,
who is waiting for me at the next turn.

Thank you for everything.
I loved you,
and I hated you.
Regardless of where you are, I wish you the happiness and joy of a lifetime.
Till we meet again as strangers.

Jenny~