Late at night

This is my second night of staying up late at night,
trying to complete the pending tasks and assignments,
trying to beat deadlines for this semester,
alone in this battle,
and longing for someone to at least called to ask if I am okay.

No matter how much I told myself that I don't really want to care about relationships,
deep inside,
it still matters a lot to me.
I, like all the other ladies out there,
wished to be embraced,
loved,
and cared for.

Wished that someone would call and asked if I am already sleeping,
or text to ask if I need anything
or tell me that I can do this and he will always be there to support me.
Wished that someone would send me food and drinks to boost my energy level while battling,
that someone would just ring my phone and tell me that he is here,
even without bringing anything,
just able to see him or listen to him would made my day or night even better.

I too longed for all these,
and though I tell myself that he is out there,
and I just have to wait patiently,
a part of me started to lose hope,
and started to embrace loneliness as a part of my life.

I too longed to have someone to love,
and though I tell myself that things will happen at its own timing,
and I just have to wait for the right timing,
a part of me started to lose trust in that matter,
and started to lose track of whatever timing there is,
and just living a day after a day without anticipating what's next in relationship.

Since when I became someone like this?

Jenny~