Slowly moving forward

I had just came back from Lawas couple of days ago to give a short briefing on a certain part of a course.
And the feeling was great.
I remembered how all the teachers first saw me and had the impression that I was just a small kid,
who knew nothing,
and who are inexperienced with my own knowledge.
I remembered how the lecturers and the officer were staring at me with two kinds of impression,
An impression of gratitude as I am able to assist them,
and an impression of being wary and doubtful whether I am able to assist them.

And because of that, it geared up my level of motivation,
of wanting to do better and to be the best in my field of work,
especially in terms of delivering the content that I am supposed to deliver.
I told myself that in order to gain respect from people,
I should first respect them and always stay humble.
And that was what I did in three slots of my briefing in the course for two days one night in Lawas.

The result?
The lecturers were really nice to me and wished me the best in my future endeavors.
The way they looked at me have changed and gave me the sense of satisfaction whenever they talked to me.
The officer who doubted me became someone who shared the most insights with me.
And I am thankful and grateful for her doubts as that has empowered me into being the most confident speaker in front of almost 80 teachers.
The course participants which comprised of senior and young teachers were attentive and the friendliest by the end of my slot.
The way they approached me and wished me safe journey back to Miri as well as thanking me for everything that I have shared,
those are the little things that bring so much joy and motivation for me to do better in the next duty.

I realised that as I am growing more mature,
I do not need high salary to feel satisfied with my achievement,
all I need are the littlest things such as being appreciated and thanked for the things that I have done for them.
Because in my life, I hold on to people's views on me and I would work hard just to show people that I can and I will be better.
Because in my life, I observed people and I learnt as well as practiced only the good ones on myself in order to be different from the people that I mingled with.
And most importantly, in my life, I want to be the best version of myself so that I would not be left in regrets for not doing so.
I seek the best for myself in order to meet the best for myself in near future.

Jenny~