Not mine

Sometimes, I feel that people around me are lucky.

Lucky because they are living the life that I wanted,

Lucky because they have what I don't have.

I remembered in my previous posts few years back,

I actually envied these people a lot,

and compared my storyline with them.

I compared my love lives with them,

whereby I always blamed my luck of not being able to be in a long term relationship,

not being able to get a boyfriend instantly,

not being able to loved and pampered by a man like others,

and not being able to feel the same treatment like all the other females.

I compared my life with them,

and eventually, I got so carried away and felt depressed.

I felt sad as I wasn't able to have the life that I have always imagined when I was a kid.

To happily get married and have kids at a young age,

to attain success in my career and become someone who is known by others,

and to be able to receive attention and love by everyone around me.

As I continue my process of growing up,

I realised how childish I was, comparing my simple life with others.

How funny it is that I want to live other's lives instead of my own,

and how foolish I am to stay in square one, complaining,

instead of advancing and make an effort to change.

Everything is set for a reason,

everything happens for a reason.

When I looked into my life and reflected,

everything is good.

I might not be popular or as successful as others yet,

but I am happy with my job and the little successes that I am attaining will slowly build up.

I might not be in a relationship right now,

but I am blessed with my family members who are one call away and my friends who are always present in my life,

I might not be married and have kids yet,

but I am patiently waiting for the moment to come.

I am thankful that I didn't rush into anything,

I am lucky that I held myself back from doing regretful actions,

and it is now time to continue this journey,

from square one to square two,

with the strength and companionship,

of the people who stood behind me.

What is not mine, will never be mine,

What is mine, will eventually be mine.

Jenny~