Turning point

Tonight's post is going to be a little different from the usual posts that I have always been writing.
If you do notice, I mostly talk about relationships, friendships as well as at times, my perspectives of life.
But today, I am going to talk about my health.

Few months ago, I discovered a bump under my tongue.
It was a hard bump and I can't see the existence of the bump with a mirror,
but I can always feel it with my finger and tongue.
Since it was painless, I didn't really think about it and treated it as something that's going to temporary.
After almost 5-6 months, I started to feel scared since the bump is still there,
and going through all kinds of articles in the Internet,
it somehow made me thought about it a lot, and I went and see the first doctor.
She told me that it was just a tongue-tie due to excessive talking,
and that, it's something normal.
She prescribed a tube of ointment for me to apply on it,
and she told me it will go away within weeks.

So, I trusted her and do so,
however, it's still there.
And finally, I braced myself to go to a specialist.
She did a thorough checkup and when she told me to immediately to go for CT scan,
I was speechless.
My brain was empty and filled with worries, though I tried to stay positive in front of my parents.
The specialist told me to go for CT scan to confirm whether it's either a cyst or a tumour,
and if it's really one of those two, I have to go through a surgery to remove it,
and further treatments.
We did not wait and immediately head to the hospital to register for a CT scan.
The next day, I got ready to go for it,
got injections and lied down on the bed.

During the procedure, there were a lot of things that went into my mind.
The first thing that crossed my mind was my family,
what if they have bear my medication cost?
Will they have enough money for my sister whose still studying?
And my mom, whose going to be extremely worried if something really bad happened.
The next thing was myself.
I started to realise that there were so many things that I haven't done yet.
I haven't started my Masters,
I haven't started to travel and go out to see the world,
I haven't achieved enough in my life,
and for once, relationships did not cross in my mind.

After the CT scan was over, I waited for the report and headed back to the specialist for the result.
I kept telling myself that whatever it is, it can be cured,
and I should keep myself positive.
The result was out and it was a normal bump,
not a cyst and not a tumour,
and I do not need any treatments or operations.
I was relieved and couldn't stop thanking God for this.

Therefore, to end this post,
with this one moment where my life could have ended in the brink of darkness,
I finally realised that what matters the most to me was never relationship,
it is my family and my own needs.
This is indeed the turning point,
the moment of realisation that I really needed to wake myself up.
Time to move on.

Jenny~