Drained

It has been almost 2 weeks after holidays,

and to be honest, I didn't get to even rest after a month long holiday.

I have been pushing myself physically in juggling between my career and studies,

and trying to deal with my emotional needs at the same time.

And when I thought I could hold everything in,

I couldn't.

I reached to a breaking point where I lied on my bed,

contemplating about all the works that haven't been done,

all the events that are waiting for me to handle,

my exam that is on the day where a big event that I am handling is happening,

and my emotional needs,

of being listened, 

being cared,

and being told that I can do it.

It became unbearable when it seems like there's no one who understood the hardships that I am going through.

I may look fine outside,

but inside, I am struggling.

I am struggling to beat the deadlines,

I am struggling to make sure things are done in a perfect manner,

and I am struggling emotionally though I told myself that I am fine.

I am not fine.

I am physically drained,

emotionally unstable,

and trying to look strong on the outside is just under a pretense,

to hide my fragile self that has been broken into pieces again and again.

I guess it's just the time of the day where all emotions rushed in,

where I feel least needed,

where I am left alone, dealing with things,

where no one seems to be there at the corner to listen to my pleas,

where only music and songs seem to be the only companion.

*sigh*

Jenny.