Self love

I have been talking and mentioning self love for quite a few times in my post,
talking bout how important it is to love ourselves and putting us first before others
talking about how we should treat and pamper ourselves which includes self rewards.
But at times, I forgot to love myself,
and thus, depending on others out there to provide me with love, attention and warmth,
and when it was unattainable,
I started to break into pieces and resorted to sadness as well as darkness.

I have been struggling with self love for quite some time,
whereby I at times couldn't accept how I look,
how my body image influence my self confidence,
how I always try to change myself for the sake of being liked by people out there,
trying to become someone who isn't me just to fulfill what other people wish to perceive me as,
when inside me, I am just a normal, fragile and sensitive girl.

When BTS ( a Korean group) has released a new song entitled, "Epiphany",
it seems like I have also found my epiphany in finally accepting myself,
my imperfections and my flaws.
Telling myself that though I am not perfect, but I am still beautiful in my own ways,
and that the person that I should love, is me after all.
Realising this, I started to open my heart more,
spending less time thinking about how I should be, but focus on using what I have to be the best version of myself,
spending less time thinking about how other people perceive me as, but focusing on how to the best me in front of them,
and spending less time thinking about how to make someone like me, but focusing on loving myself so much that all the love would overflow to others.

And with those thoughts, I look forward to life,
I look forward to the current friendships that I have built, hoping to build more friendships in the future,
I look forward to the unexpected things and changes, with the hope of able to overcome the fear and embracing it as a part of self growth.
and I look forward to love myself in a greater way, and sharing this overflowing of love with others with the hope that they too would be able to love themselves and people around them.

This journey is going to be a long,
and I couldn't promise to be able to love myself fully,
but I will always try,
because I have no one else but me.

Jenny~