04.01.2019

This is going to be a late post on my New Year resolution.
Have been busy trying to catch up with workloads as well as the immense pressure of facing my final statistics exams in a couple of days.
2019 has kicked in and life has been getting busier each day.
With workloads from schools,
as well as trying to get used to being a class teacher to a bunch of kids,
and teaching after quite some time is something that I look forward to this year.

Life has been smooth sailing for now,
and I am somehow comfortable with how things are right now.
However, I knew the inner me,
deep inside,
I am still struggling to be okay.
There are a couple of times where I would just lie on my bed,
listening to songs,
and start to break down little by little.

I am not a strong person,
I am trying to be one.
I am not a happy-go-lucky kind of person,
I am struggling inside.
And there are times I don't acknowledge my pains and struggles,
instead of intoxicating myself with alcohol and drugs,
I intoxicate myself with works and studies.

And sooner or later,
I got addicted to it and couldn't run away from not doing anything.
Therefore, reflecting to my past year resolutions.
I realised that though I am indeed happy with all the events and things that happened around me,
I couldn't escape from expecting,
and at the end of the day, expectation does hurt but this time, it only hurts a bit.
I also realised that I couldn't stop myself from eating,
thus, explains the weight gain where I am shocked to see myself right now,
and intermittent fasting is something that I am training myself to do in order to cut down some weights.
And last but not least, I tried to enjoy each day as it passes,
and I realised that with the help of my colleagues and my pupils, each day passes really fast,
and I missed them all right now.

Therefore, my 2019 New Year resolutions would be as follows:
1. To work hard in both my career and studies.
2. To pick up a dance class for the sake of my career
3. To be happy regardless of what happens throughout the year.
4. To be less troubled with matters that are out of my control

May this year be a better year than before, and will produce extraordinary results by the end of the year!

Jenny~