My go-to

I remembered when I was back in IPG, there were a lot of people that I went to when I needed to confide things with them.
I remembered sharing about my happiness and sadness to a few of my trusted friends,
and they would always either give me advice on how to deal with it,
or they would usually try to cheer me up by taking my mind off from it.

I remembered whenever I needed a talk,
all I need is to either go from room to room to find my friends to talk to,
or just a simple text message to my best friend whose always living next door,
and she would open the door,
and then, there we go, talking endlessly about my issue and hers.
Or, when my roommate and I turned off the lights,
that is when we had our endless conversations under our blankets,
talking about relationship issues and things that we witness amongst our friends.

I guess that's the reason that caused me to unable to move on from the past,
I remembered how badly I cried when it was the very few days left to leave IPG.
And how badly I wanted to go back there to reminisce all the memories left behind,
before turning over a new chapter.
There is always that one part of me that I feel has been left behind in Keningau,
and I can't wait for the next trip to reclaim it back.
It was indeed a pity that we didn't make it Keningau during our Deepavali trip due to the unpredictable weather.
As we all are growing up,
my go-to stations become lesser and lesser.
My roommate whom I always confide when it comes to me dealing with relationship,
is now happily married and is expecting soon.
My best friend whose only one call away,
is now happily being called as a wife.

And the thoughts of having lesser go-to somehow made me feel down.
It isn't easy to find a person who I can talk about almost anything,
without feeling being judged.
And it is not easy to find someone who I can be comfortable in talking about everything.
Therefore, I am lucky if I could find another go-to.
A person who understands my needs and wants,
and always there to lend me his/her ears,
and provide comfort and support when I most needed it.

And I wish I have truly found it.

Jenny~