Insecurity

tInsecurity.
The feeling of being unsafe,
anxious that something bad will happen based on what we imagined,
the feeling that holds back almost everything,
and the feeling that destroys almost everything that has been built.

Insecurity.
I wondered to myself,
since when do I feel so insecure on myself?
I remember being insecure about how I look,
how I present myself in the public,
how people look or perceive me as,
and this includes my friends, family and the people I love.

But these days,
insecurity has once again hold me back from things I love dearly.
It has once again make myself doubt,
not on other people,
but to myself.
It has once again ignited fires of jealousy,
that I shouldn't feel at all.
And it has once again showed my weakest point,
that I wanted to conceal from people.

Being insecure is something that I wish I could get rid of it,
not as a whole,
but partly or a little of it from myself.
I hate myself when I am insecure,
I start to ask questions,
or say things that I know will hurt me back instead.
I start to think of all the bad things that will happen,
and eventually, feels that it will happen after all.
I hate myself for all this insecurity.
And when it happens,
I just need a word of assurance.
That no matter how insecure I am,
how I feel like a piece of paper that would tear one day,
that you will be right there, 
ready to piece me back up again.

Jenny~