Less hopeful

I was sent to Sibu last week for a three days symposium,
and I was thrilled to attend the symposium which witnessed amazing speakers from various parts of the countries and our own states.
To be able to be there and listening to their amazing and inspiring sharing about teaching,
how to make a difference in people's lives,
as well as embracing changes that is bound to happen in a person's life regardless of how we tried to stop it,
it was amazing!

During those three days, I was grateful for my IPG friend for her willingness to bring me around,
as well as kept me accompanied throughout those sessions,
Honestly speaking, both of us were super close back at IPG,
but one small mistake that was committed by me somehow caused both of us to be awkward with one another for quite some time.
Time passes and I am happy that she is now willing to share things with me,
and listened to me when it comes to sharing session.
I remembered that I have always envied her as she is pretty and always have admirers surrounding her right until now,
but I realised that it is not all beautiful for her as she couldnt even be casual with any guys without leading them into hopeless love,
or even having good friend around as the guy that they have crush will eventually fall for her.
But all I can say about her is I really hope that she will find her happiness and eventually be reunited with her love amidst all the obstacles that are in their way.

When I was at symposium, I was happy to be surrounded by inspiring people,
though I didnt really make new friends there,
but I was happy that people finally know my presence during my reflection session.
Yes, I was lucky enough to be asked to go on stage to share my reflection about the symposium in front of hundreds of teachers and distinguished guests.
At that moment, I realised that this is the time for me to shine,
time for people to hear what I am going to say and the time for me to unleash my inner potential,
and I did it!
The happiness of hearing people cheer for me and clap for me was amazing,
and thats when I realised that, I belong to the stage.
And I need to work really hard to be on stage one day like those speakers that I witnessed.

And I realised that at that moment, I was no longer searching for a person,
I was confident enough to be up there on my own.
I no longer hope to see that one man to walk up to me,
I was fine being applaud by many.
I no longer hope to meet a man amidst the crowd,
I was fine being me at all time.
And I realised that I am becoming less and less hopeful when it comes to meeting new people.

A friend told me to stop hoping,
He said that by doing so, it will stop me from getting heartbreaks.
And yes, my friend.
I stopped hoping,
and I start to walk towards the unknown path of my future,
independently.

Jenny~