While on duty

I was sent to Kuching yesterday for a duty,
and I was grateful as well as thankful to meet amazing people,
and one of them was a lady who already had 3 children and is still looking young as ever.
We talked a lot and I told her about my relationship issues,
and how I got over it and how I am really happy currently with less pressure on settling down.

And she told me her happiness before she started to mention the hardships that she went through as well while being a wife, mother and a daughter in law.
From there, I learnt a lot.
I learnt that it is not easy to stay married.
It takes a lot of commitment, patience as well as tolerance with one another in order to make things happen.
And it doesn't always happen with both sides.
There are times when the other half is not listening,
is not paying attention,
is always by the side of the in law and leaving you with no option but to suffer in silence.
But not every wedding ends in heartbreaks.
The most important lesson in it is that you and the other half is willingly to work together to achieve peace and harmony in a family.

From listening to her experience,
I realised that I am actually not ready to go through all this just yet.
I dont have the commitment nor the patience to be able to pull through these stuffs,
what more if its with a guy that I just merely love.
And I am somewhat thankful for still being single,
at least I am able to learn more and more about marriage and really prepare myself for it when the time comes.
It indeed takes two to tango,
and it is important the other half is appreciative of you like how you are appreciative to him/her.

And before forgetting, she even advised me to take work easily.
And I can see how she is worried about how crazy am I with work.
I also thought I am too indulged into work until I forgot to give myself some break at times.
But I realised that work and studies are the only thing that is keeping me sane and a pause from thinking of the unnecessary.
And somehow, like what I have mentioned previously, work and studies are my comfort zone.
A zone where there is no mention or thoughts of relationship is brought upon.
A zone where I know my heart won't break when I put on high hopes on it.
As crazy as it is, I am waiting for the one who could break the high walls that I have hidden myself in which is my passion and obsession to my work.

Someone, come and find me.

Jenny~