Saturday, February 10, 2018

No regrets

As she sat at her favourite spot at the cafe,
she stared at the dark clouds hovering around,
bringing little glimpses of lights there and then,
and she took out her journal.

She started to write about all the things that have happened to her so far,
she remembered how a man who suddenly approached her table one afternoon,
and talked to her about a lot of things,
and she thought she found a new friend when things went awry.
She remembered how the man profess his feelings to her after a day of meeting her,
and how he brought her around to town,
and kept touching her without her permission.

She thought she would get used to this,
she thought that this what she had wished for,
and she also thought this would go far,
but it didn't.
She didn't feel happy,
she was uncomfortable,
she felt burdened and sad the whole time without knowing the real reason.
She thought it was because of her unwillingness to let go her baggage,
but it wasn't.

Her body was telling her that this was not it.
Eventually, she ended the tie as fast as how it started,
and she has no regrets.
As she stared back at the people around the cafe,
she realised that she needed her own life.
She had been thinking about others for the past few years,
and forgot to take care about her own heart.
She had been depending on others to bring her happiness,
and forgot that only she can make herself happy at the end of the day.

She wants to be with herself at this moment,
and she can't stand the idea of being with a man who though loves her a lot,
she doesn't love him,
and always wanting for more.
She was afraid to let go,
but she knows if she stayed on, she will be the one who will suffer.

And as she placed her cup of latte down,
she closed her journal,
stood up,
took her coat and went out of the little cafe.
She stared at the little rays of lights among the dark clouds,
and told her little heart to be patient,
and she will, one day, find someone whom will make her stay.
While waiting, she continued her journey to pursue her own happiness.

Jenny~

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