here comes the new month.

August is reaching its end.
and here comes the new month.
a month that i used to anticipate.
and now it is more to anticipating certain events..
such as the end of practicum,
and a mini getaway...

what i have learnt in this month?
i learnt that the pain from having a wisdom tooth is far more worse than anythin.. aha..
i learnt one's life is short and we never know when it will be taken away..
i learnt to appreciate ppl around me and the time im spending with them..
i learnt to value myself and place myself at the highest position.
i learnt to make sure i wont get hurt..
i learnt to take care of myself well..
i learnt that amongst all the sad things that happen to me, there is someone whose facing even worse than me..
i learnt that amongst all the sad, there is some happy stuffs goin on for me..
i learnt that the time for me to find someone is not here yet, 
and last but not least, i learn to be patient like last time and God will be fair to me like how HE treated all of us..

i just have to learn to believe and do a step at a time..

Jenny~

what hurts the most?

do you know what hurts more than a heartbreak?
do you know what hurts more than being lied at?
do you know what hurts more than being a second-placer?
the growth of a wisdom tooth..
haha..
this is not an emo post, by the way..
so i went to the dentist and yes, he confirmed that all the unbearable pain was because of my wisdom tooth which is pushing its way out from my gum..
and yes, it is still painful which causes me to depend on medication..
and yes, he did mentioned bout the surgery that i have to go through if i wanna end the pain once and for all..
and yes indeed, i refused to do it here..
i mean who wanna do it here where i would not get enough care and attention from home, right?

and the funny thing is that it actually reminds me that the pain of getting heartbreaks are nothing compared to the pain of the growth of wisdom tooth..
the pain from the wisdom tooth was so unbearable that it could cause me to just forget bout work and head to bed..
haha..
and when the doctor talked about the major surgery i have to go thru, i was like thinking, "even getting heartbreaks pun didnt require me to get a surgery." 
and there was this moment when i start to think that heartbreaks for now are no longer a big deal for me..
i just need to close my eye, ignore the people that hurts me and then i would be ok..
easy right compared to eating medicines and the thought of surgery?
so at the end of the day, i would always ask myself..
why am i in so much pain this year?
answer? only God knows.. =)

Jenny.

part of growing up.

i love growing up actually..
able to see how different i am compared to when i was still naive and a little girl..
but everyone of us have one part where we hate for growing up..
in this first part of my blog on the "part of growing up",
i dislike the part where we have to face the pain of wisdom tooth coming out and making u feel all the pain in the mouth..
i hate pain and what more to say when it comes to my mouth..
the part that would make me feel so stressed up..
sigh...
so these days i have been havin ulcers and then this thing which i researched on the internet which is due to the impact of my wisdom tooth..
and it was really scary and i was shaking..
and yeah, i made a direct appointment to the dentist..

and all this make me thinks,
i just got over with the pain in my heart,
and now i have to bear the pain in my mouth?
aarrgh, it is so unbearable! 
damn~

Jenny.

Youtube love!

Ok, let me clarify my title above...

Its should be called my love to the youtubers!

haha..

well, i have been blasting myself with lots of funny videos that actually reflects on our everyday life..

and seriously, there were several youtubers that made me laughed till i got tears in my eyes..

and i should mentioned the most important point is that when they started to make me laugh with their funny and not nonsense-type of video, it makes me feel that they are kinda cute...

haha..

mayb i need those laughs so that my life would look beautiful...

and with these youtubers' constant updates on their video, my life felt completed.. haha..

so some links to their videos which i felt super funny are right below.. check them out and also all their other videos and subscribe them! they make your life worth laughing at.. haha...

Dankhoo Productions - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F48-duwmGQ&feature=c4-overview&list=UUD34kxNTU4l7I0HoTnAsO6w

NigaHiga - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEo2ipzypTQ&feature=c4-overview&list=UUSAUGyc_xA8uYzaIVG6MESQ

The Ming Thing - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trn8f8-wTag

JinnyBoy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJd1BGM3sPw

some of the video inspired me, some makes me laugh, some makes me feel life is indeed beautiful.. =D

Jenny

end of holidays.

yeah, da end of holidays and beginning of another super busy and hectic months before the next round of holidays...
back home, good food and good company makes me forget bout all da stress and sadness..
and indeed, it was a good healing session after what i have been goin thru..
Mom has been really helpful in making me feel better..
making me know that in this world, not all guys are jerks..
sometimes we just have to open our eyes and really look well before falling for one again..
when i thought the session almost failed, it made me stronger..
and now im back with a better me..
maybe sometimes we really have to fall hard in order to know how falling to the reality felt..
by knowing hoe painful it is, we would be extra cautious and always remind ourselves to be careful next time..

dear heart,
i know u love to love again..
but for now, im keeping u in a chest..
until the right guy comes along..
i do thins for your good sake and for my own happiness..

Jenny~

dreams.

dreams are funny..
ppl says that dreams are the stuffs that you are constantly thinking about,
or stuffs that you say you nvr think but actually ur thinkin bout it..
so i had these weird dreams few days ago..
one night, i dreamt of a super wonderful and warm date with a guy which i cant remember how he looks like..
it felt nice, 
really nice like a real date..
and i dont know, i kinda miss those feelings...
but nevertheless, it was a dream.. 

then the other night, i dreamt of someone wanna reconcile with me..
i hurled all my anger on to him and i felt really better..
its like all those anger pent inside is released,
and it felt wow..
haha..

so two really ironic and contrasting dreams on two different nights..
what can i infer in it?
well, i'll conclude that no matter how much i wanna be back into a r/ship, i would not fall back into another rotten one..
no matter how much i wanna feel being in a r/ship, i would not be in one with the wrong guy..
enough said. =)

Jenny~

1st day of August.

The first day of August,
signifies a lot of of things.
it signifies a lot of happiness since im goin home in less than 48 hours.
though there are still a lot of assignments and things related to practicum to be completed during the holidays, 
but nth beat the feeling of being at home..

and at least, being at home will aid me even more..
being stuck in this place sometimes bring me joys and wonders,
but sometimes sadness and pain..
being stuck here surrounded by all of my crazy, funny and caring friends,
make me forget home sometimes..
but being stuck here surrounded by all the damn memories and people,
makes me even wanna go home..

mayb by being at home all alone without seeing those people and reminiscing those memories will make me even stronger..
sometimes, i wish,
i really just wish,
i was able to see myself at the present moment...
maybe i wouldnt have taken the road leading to this..
maybe i would have been happy until now and enjoyed every moment with my friends..
maybe, the word that i always use when i start to regret on my decisions.
just maybe.

Jenny~