Friday, January 19, 2018 0 comments

At a cafe

She stares out from her window,
sipping her hot coffee,
and listening to the sound of the rain.

How long has it been after the train has left?
How long has it been for her in this once unfamiliar town, 
now slowly turned into a little home for her?
She had lost track of time as she had been exploring each part of the little town.

As she was sipping her cup of coffee,
she saw a birthday cake on a table.
A cute couple entered the cafe,
with the male holding a bouquet of roses,
and the lady was holding a present.
She realised that it was also someone's big day too.

She would never forget that date.
It has been etched in her mind ever since she met him.
She remembered the first time they celebrated it together,
and his face when he received her presents.
She smiled when she played back all those memories,
and looked outside.

She wished she was there at the moment,
but she knew that it was impossible.
She didn't feel sad,
she feel happy,
as she knows that he is happy as well regardless of where he is,
who he is with,
and what he is doing.

She took a book that she has handmade on her own during her time on the train,
wrapped it carefully,
walked towards the counter,
and asked the man to help her send it off,
to the person who she knows,
will be delighted to receive. 

Jenny~
Monday, January 15, 2018 0 comments

Eyes on me

These few days, I have came across with a song sung by Faye Wong entitled, "Eyes on Me".
For those whose really into anime, I believe you would know which anime has this theme song, right?
But for those who don't really watch anime, this theme song appeared in Final Fantasy,
which I never watched.
Nevertheless, I came across this song through my recommended playlist in Youtube,
and when I listened to the lyrics,
I immediately smiled as I thought back about the person whom I first laid my eyes upon,
as well as the first person who have made me feel, 
for once,
the luckiest girl on Earth.

I believed I did talk about this person in my old posts,
but to be able to remember every single detail about him,
his voice,
his smile, 
the way he stared and looked for me,
feels like it had only happened yesterday.
I could still remember how he trembled when he held my hand,
and I innocently thought how clumsy this man was.
And I could still remember how he would always be searching for me,
everytime I entered the place,
and smiled shyly towards me.

I could still remember how my friends would usually teased me,
saying that he really liked me by the way he acted,
and how I never believe in them as I was not how I look right now,
and he was my dream guy which I could only dreamed of.
But there was one night when all of us headed for dinner,
and eventually, ended around 8pm where I was pretty sure he wouldn't be at the same place,
and I would go back home without able to take a glimpse of him.
We were walking with our umbrellas when my roommate shouted to me,
and pointed at him.
That moment was a moment I wished I could replay it again and again.

But good moments never lasted,
when out of nowhere, he had disappeared,
and I got into a relationship.
And after 2 years of relationship where things were cracking between us,
I met him again.
And he was still the same, smiling shyly to me,
and always trying to catch up with me whenever Mass has ended.

But one day, he disappeared,
and since then until now, I wished I was given just one more chance to meet him again,
and asked, how has he been?
before letting go of the man whom was a stranger,
a stranger who appeared at my weakest point,
a stranger who kept me hopeful,
and a stranger who have made me feel the prettiest and always appreciated.

Thank you, Mr. Stranger.
Hope to meet you one day.

Jenny~ 
Monday, January 8, 2018 0 comments

Freeing herself

She woke up to a sudden halt on her journey.
Rubbing her eyes and looking outside the window,
she found that her train has stopped at a little town crowded with people and children running around,
she packed up her suitcase, pushed all her books into another case and went down the train.

For the first time, she felt that the air was so sweet and the sun was gorgeous for the day.
She has finally decided to bid goodbye to the train who brought her all along to this little town.
She stared at the strange and yet friendly faces around her,
and she too another step forward.
And she turned around at the passengers who have went up to the train,
reminiscing the time when she too,
was like one of them,
forever trying to catch the right train, hop aboard and sat next to the window,
just watching the time flies, and her life pass.

Today, she made an important decision.
She has decided to set her foot down on this strange but yet, pretty little town,
and seek for her own happiness.
She has decided that it is now time for her to free herself from the shackles of loneliness,
from the grasps of sadness,
and the desperate feelings to be understood and embraced by others.
She has decided that she would go and pursue her own happiness,
by walking on her own,
experiencing things that she never even dared to try before,
and finally, feel free.

She put on her hat,
bid goodbye to the train silently in her heart,
turned around,
held her head up high,
and while smiling to the friendly strangers around her,
she continued on her journey to pursue for her success,
and happiness.

Jenny~
Monday, January 1, 2018 0 comments

1.01.2018

Welcome to the new year, readers!
Happy New Year to all and here's to wishing all you many happy returns in your life!
I started the day by lazing myself on the bed till 10am, thinking of how I really deserve to sleep for a couple more hours before the next day, which is going to be a working day.
And I went out for lunch with my male friend which surprised me with a lot of souvenirs from his trip.
And I felt like a small kid again when I uncovered one by one the things he got me during the trip.
I guessed the most shocking part was when the next present was a storybook that I have been looking for since last year, "The Little Prince".
I was really touched when I saw the book and didnt believe that the book is finally in my hand,
and thanks to him, I got it. #thankyousomuch
It was nice hanging out, chatting about what we are going to be doing for 2018,
where I am more inclined to work and studies,
while he is going off for more trips with his friends and family.
Anyways, I'm happy that things remained friendly between us,
and hope it remains that way.

And now, back to my working space blogging about how I spent the day,
and not forgetting, my resolutions for this year are:

1. To be happy and expect less
2. To be healthy and eat less
3. To enjoy each day as it passes.

Simple and meaningful.
Hopefully I could keep up these resolutions till the end of the 2018.
Here's to a meaningful and happier year for me and you.

Jenny.
Saturday, December 30, 2017 0 comments

Reflection of the year.

2017 has been a year filled with a lot of ups and downs for me,
a year that got me into an emotional turbulence for months,
and almost got me suck into deep sadness without really knowing why.
2017 has also been a year where I shed the most tears,
and laughed lesser.

It was a year that started with bad relationships with my colleagues,
unexpected twist with the closest friend,
and being down for many days, thinking what went wrong,
what was wrong with me,
why did things always happen to me,
and being really negative to all the things that have happened.

It was also a year that saw me losing my focus,
my directions in life,
lying in darkness for days, crying without knowing the real reasons,
went to counselling room and church to seek inner peace,
and emotionally drained.
But things happened for a reason,
and it was nice to see that with all the shortcomings,
there were sweetness in it indeed.

I became close to the colleague who once hated me,
and we were now back to our usual relationship.
I started to accept the reality between myself and my friend,
and decided that, moving on has always been the hardest choice,
but can be done as long as I'm determined in it.
I have also started to train myself not to think too much on things that I couldn't control,
and have applied for studies.
All in all, my year has ended with a good note on almost everything.

And now, let's reflect on the resolution that I have made and see how has each progressed.

1. Work hard in my career and always be professional when it comes to work.
= Honestly speaking, my career was met with a lot of pauses this year as I was actually experiencing burn-out from it. I was alone in the beginning of the year, trying to meet expectations and all, and eventually, I wasn't able to give my best to my pupils which was disappointing. 

2. Try to eat healthy and stay fit in whatever means.
= This has not been going on smoothly. I was still indulging in unhealthy snacks and getting fit only lasted for a few days. But the good thing is, I am teaching PJ next year so I have to be fit no matter what. 

3. Prioritise myself over others.

= This was the thing that I failed to do. Instead of prioritising myself, I gave my all to others and eventually, got hurt terribly. I forgot to love myself, and even if I remember, it would only last for a few days before I started to think and wondered what went wrong till I am ignored. 

4. And last but not least, love. Love and appreciate myself more before loving and appreciating others.

= Honestly speaking, I forgot to love and appreciate myself this year. And because of that, I have experienced the worst mood swings and sadness due to expecting love and appreciation from other people.

In conclusion, I am embarrased to say that my resolutions for 2016 have not been achieved. 
It was a year that taught me a lot about myself,
 a year that fully wakes me up about the importance of living the life,
not for others, but for myself,
a year where I frantically search and eventually lost it,
a year where inner peace has been taken away, and I was controlled by emotions all the time,
and also a year to close with a good note that the following year will be a good year.
Therefore, I close this chapter of the year with a hope that next year will be a better one.

Thank you for the memories.
Thank you for the happiness and sadness.
Thank you for the tears of sadness and joy.
And thank you for the lessons.
It has been a twisted year,
and I look forward to another new chapter in life.

Jenny~
Thursday, December 28, 2017 0 comments

28.12

28.12.2017.
4 more days away from 2018,
a new year where people will be reflecting on what they have done in the previous year,
and eventually set up a new goal,
and be a " new me".

Today's post will be about my one month holiday,
where I will be sharing on what I have been doing,
thinking and feeling throughout the holidays.
I spent the first few weeks at home,
being pampered like a princess by my parents,
and have been reading a series of Harry Potter's novels.

And I spent some days at my best friend's place,
where we talked about her upcoming wedding,
and everything in the world that we could come up to.
It was nice knowing that she was still the same person that I knew years ago,
and that both of us were still as crazy but less random compared to last time,
and I enjoyed myself a lot during those few days where we were laughing,
talking, and imagining the next future.

After that, I spent couple more days at my mom's little town,
where everyday, I woke up to the sound of the people selling stuffs downstairs,
sound of the neighbours' roosters,
and watching sunrise and sunset behind my shop house,
as well as looking at the bright stars decorating the whole sky.
It made me forget about my age for a while,
forget about all the issues and concerns that I carried all this while.

Next stop was just a few days back home and then back to my dad's hometown,
and now, finally settling down at my working home.
During the whole month of holidays,
I have been watching a lot of TV especially Singaporean dramas,
and coincidentally, everytime I started to think,
there would be a scene when the actor or actress would enlighten me with their words of advices.
And I would be enlightened,
and told myself to stop overthinking,
and drowning myself in unnecessary sadness and stress.

This holiday has been a good one.
I found that I am anticipating the new year with the workloads,
I am excited with what the new year has in store for me,
and I am still working very hard to block all kinds of overthinking,
especially in relationship,
and just let things happen.
The universe has given me ample of signs to move on,
and I believe it is indeed the time to do so.

My next post will be on my reflections of the things have occured to me throughout 2017,
and whether my resolutions have been achieved for the year. Keep reading!

Jenny~
Monday, December 4, 2017 0 comments

December

She looked outside,
and stared at the sky,
December is here,
and she starts to ponder.

Amidst all the rain and snow,
could she finally reach where she belongs?
To the familiar places,
or to people whom are strangers,
she longs to know,
but aches to walk on.

Jenny.
 
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