Frustrated

 Day by day,

I asked myself if it's really worth it to be as workaholic as I used to be.

I used to be someone who is ever ready to do what is instructed even though it isn't my work,

I was always ready to help out and assist,

I was always ready to take orders and force myself to work for long hours at school as well as home.

But now,

it felt different.

It felt frustrating when I am keen to complete the job,

and yet people above me is not.

It felt frustrating when I am all out to complete the job,

but the person above me is holding out and yet giving pressure on me,

expecting a great job done but not giving the essential information.

It felt frustrating when jobs that were not supposed to be done by me,

and yet, I have to be the one to assist works that are unrelated to my field,

and completely out of my expertise.

Once completed, I have to be the one to be submitting it as if it's my job,

as if it's my work,

as if it's my assignment,

when it is not.

I pity those who were forced to sit together and do the work,

when it is literally not our work.

Not even hearing the word thank you coming from him,

and yet, dare to tell me that if I am giving him a hard time, he will do the same to me,

when this is supposed to be his work.

It breaks my heart when this happened today.

I was always being respectful and always being helpful,

I guess it finally backfired in my face.

Wish I was not proactive and so busybody, asking for jobs.

Now, unrelated jobs are given to me just for the sake of completing it,

and they take the credits for it.

Damn.

Jenny