Missing a part

Who knew that there comes a day like this.
Where I would once again miss someone's presence in my life.
February is never really a good month for me.
With Chinese Valentine's Day tomorrow, and Valentine's Day next Tuesday,
it became a season of emo-ness and sadness to myself.

Sometimes, we plan without knowing,
We create an illusion,
a very happy one, thinking that it will happen like how we imagine it to be.
I am one of those people.
I imagined that I would go out for a wonderful dinner,
spending time laughing and creating special memories on these days,
and finally, feel celebrated.
I imagined that my workplace would be a place I would anticipate to come everyday,
being with people that I can share everything after each class,
and finally, feel belonged to a place.

But reality kicks in,
all these shatters when replies are not received,
not getting clear messages,
being hated for no apparent reason,
losing someone that I can share almost everything,
and someone who works so well with me.
I thought I would be fine,
but I wasn't.

I am missing a part in me again.
I finally understand the feeling of missing someone or something.
It is not merely wanting to keep texting or finding that person,
It is wanting to see their smiles again,
seeing them talk and eat in front of you,
feel their touch against you,
and hearing those words of advices as well as silly remarks from them.

I miss that.
I really do.

Jenny~