Sunday, June 24, 2018


Holidays have started a month ago and finally came to its end.
Time passed really slow during the holidays,
and each day,
I was anticipating for my return to work,
dealing with hectic timetables and kids.
During this month-long holidays,
I have went through a series of emotional bouts,
where I caught myself falling and tumbling down at all times.

I felt insecure,
I felt devastated,
I felt terribly sad and not telling to anyone,
makes things worse.
Until it was time for me to go off for holiday classes,
where I found back my happy pills.

It was also during those times that reading has helped me to pull through a lot.
One of the online books that I have been reading was "Into the Magic Shop",
it was from BTS, a Korean group which I have been following for a couple of weeks,
that has also been pulling me through the difficult times.
After reading few chapters in that particular book,
I started to open my heart,
and slowly let go.

I have clung onto something that I knew I wouldn't possess,
I have went back to the old square without noticing how far I have strayed away from the original path that I have told myself to take,
I have hold onto a hope that I knew from earlier on that this would eventually harm me at the end of the day,
I have always been going back to the same old bench,
without realising how stuck I was in the cycle.

And eventually, I started to care less.
I started to tell myself that it is fine to respond when needed.
It is fine to be a person's comfort zone,
maybe this is what I was supposed to be in this life.
I started to remind myself to stop living in the bubble of hopes,
and live the real life out there.
And I told myself to slowly stop chasing after the butterfly that has flew further and further away.

It's time to stop chasing after butterflies,
and enjoy the view.
It hurts to see the butterfly you once loved so much flew away and out of sight,
but if it's meant to be, it will come back.
If it's not, there would be another one,
and another one.
You just have to sit, take a deep breath, and always look up.



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