Christmas!

 Christmas this year has brought upon lots of joy compared to last year!

My parents are finally back from Brunei and we were able to celebrate this day together with my boyfriend.

It was also on this day that I, for the first time, brought back a guy to meet my parents.

And it is a huge thing for me as I never bring any guys home to meet my parents or even post any pictures with any guys on my social medias.

To be able to bring back a man who has been there for me all this while during this pandemic to my parents is definitely a huge thing for me,

and honestly, I was a bit nervous when they met him as my parents do have quite a standard of liking,

but thank God, all went well and they were super fine meeting him.

On this day last year, it was our first date out on Christmas eve with my lousy outfit and his dashing looks,

and on this day this year, I thank God that we are strong together and moving on to a new phase which is meeting my parents.

Thank you for being so kind and understanding,

and thank you for being there for me all the time despite how busy work is nowadays.

To more Christmases together, love!

Jenny~

His birthday

 Happy birthday to my awesome and most supportive boyfriend!

I never thought that this year I would be able to celebrate someone else's birthday aside from mine,

and what more to say, my own boyfriend's birthday!

Honestly, after being single for so long, I somehow forgot how to celebrate my other half's birthday,

thus, the last minute card and also the mini celebration.

And from there, I realised that I need to start working hard to plan more wonderful events,

and also prepare more meaningful gifts like how I used to years ago.

To my love who might or might not be reading this post,

happy birthday love.

May you be blessed with lots of love, good health and lots of money so we can on cake and food adventure more often!

And may we celebrate more birthdays together in the future!

Jenny~

10th month

 Happy 10th month anniversary to both of us!
Last year on this date, I was super stoked of losing weight and waiting to attend my friend's wedding,

and wondering if I am able to meet someone new during the wedding.

Fast forward to today, 

I am now with not someone new, but someone who have always been there!

Thank you for being so patient and considerate with me despite my frequent mood swings,

and thank you for bringing me to eat and always telling me that I look okay despite giving me big eye reactions when I update about my current weight.

Though sometimes I do feel a bit angry or sad when I wasnt given the same amount of attention as you are with your phone,

you always know how to make things okay.

Thank you, dear.

To more fun times together,

and to more future adventures and laughters!

Jenny

Updates.

 It's been a while not updating this blog except for the monthly anniversary with my love.

It has been a really tough journey during this year's pandemic,

and honestly speaking, it has taken a toll on my physical and mental health as well.

When it comes to working at home, it has been exhausting and tiring.

People think that its easy working at home,

that we all just lie on the couch, attends some online classes or sending offline tasks to our pupils,

and then we can relax and go shopping or binge watching our series,

but honestly it doesn't happen in such a way.

I have been having anxiety and panic attacks for several nights now,

and it has caused me to have difficulty to sleep and rest when it is supposedly time to rest.

Waking up in the morning, 

sitting right in front of the screen, doing online Google Meets with the pupils,

assigning tasks for them, checking their attendance, keying in their attendance in two different platforms,

preparing tasks and lesson plans for the next day,

finishing up school works here and there,

attending Google Meets for workshops, briefing and all sort of things till 5pm.

and then, getting calls and last minute texts about work.

It is seriously frustrating and upsetting.

and my mental health has been seriously affected to the point of getting anxiety attacks,

of getting burnt out,

of getting easily annoyed when getting calls from work,

of losing temper easily when last minute calls for work and sometimes matter unrelated to me.

And it has also caused me to gain weight due to this hidden stress.

It's not easy dealing with all of this and I really wish to go back to school and work normally.

I really wish to get back to work, and finally have my deserving rest at home.

Instead of messing up my work time and rest time at home.

I can't imagine the immense stress of having to deal all of this if I have a family in the future.

Gosh.

My mind is tired and unproductive,

and all the things that I want to do and focus on are all in arrays due to this pandemic.

The unforgiving higher authorities that seem to ignore the time that we should be resting,

The endless works that are not bringing any benefits to our career and our kids,

The illogical workshops that seem to share the best practices and yet can't be applied in the current situations,

seriously, can you just stop?

When the officer asked me the other day if we did any motivation talks or workshops for teachers,

all I could think of to answer him is this,

give us a break. 

stop pushing us to attend meaningless things.

and stop pressuring us to achieve the "perfect data"

Jenny

9.11

Today marks our 9th month together.

Time passes fast when spent together with people that we love,

and it's true. 

In a glimpse of time, it has been 9 months together,

and it's been a fun journey,

a journey where we unlock and discover each other's new characteristics,

a journey where we find comfort in each other despite the hectic life at work,

and a journey of trying to complete each other in where we lack of.

Thanks for being at my side all the time despite how much I am lacking,

and thanks for being patient with me though I easily lose my patience at times.

To more months and years together, love!

Jenny.

9.10

 Happy 8th month, love.

It was indeed a pity that we could not celebrate this day together due to the current situation.

Nevertheless, hope you are going to feel better,

and once we are free from quarantine,

we are going to stick with one another once more like how we used to.

Thank you for being my companion all this while.

Helping me to feel calm and peaceful at all time.

Thank you for making me feel the luckiest girl ever,

having someone who understand me and always there to listen to me.

Despite there are times where I easily got sensitive with you and your attachment to your phone,

but I am grateful that you would listen to me most of the time,

and accompany me while giving me your attention which I love the most.

Thanks for making me laugh all the time with your silly expressions and your laughter.

To more months and years ahead, bao.

Jenny~

Nightmare

 No matter how much we tried to protect ourselves from Covid, 

it's always out there.

My boyfriend was diagnosed positive today despite not joining any social gatherings,

and have been observing good hygienic practices.

But I guess, it's difficult to do so at his workplace,

and he might have caught it at his workplace.

It saddens me a lot when hearing he was positive Covid.

For now, he had flu and symptomatic.

I have also now started to do some self isolation at home to reduce any risk or exposure to people around me.

I did my first self test and thank God, it was negative.

And here I am hoping that the next few tests in several days to come would also be negative too.

I nearly cried when I told my parents about it.

I tried my best to be strong but I guess they can hear the crack of my voice,

so they tried their best to cheer me up and make feel less worried.

My boyfriend, knowing that I am a super worried person, tried to make me feel better,

and it saddens me a lot that I couldn't be there for him at this current moment.

So yeah, I shed a few tears here and there due to my current period and the current situation.

I just thought we were going to celebrate tomorrow a little bit, 

but I guess it can wait.

Hoping that all will be fine and then we can meet each other real soon.

Covid sucks.

Jenny~