Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Longest Post (I think....)

Today is 31st December 2014,
A date that signify the end of a good year, 2014,
That also signify a new beginning for me into a new life, new routine, new people, and maybe new feelings after all.
Throughout the year 2014, I went through a lot.
The good and bitter memories,
Building and breaking of strings,
Remembering and forgetting memories,
Meeting and avoiding certain people,
I went through turbulences of four major things, Experience. Memories. People. Feelings.

        Experience
-          Being in a campus for five and a half years, experience is the most valuable thing that I have gained. Able to learn new things, new skills, and to identify the most valuable potential that I have is something that I experienced in 2014. Able to look into me and my needs plus wants also help me to keep experiencing things and learn from them. These experiences brought me up and change me, my perspectives and my views about almost everything.

Memories
-          Memories. They never left actually. The laughter I had with my friends, my rumet and with people I hung out were the best memories. The tears I had all alone under my blankets were also the bitter memories that I still remember.  The fluttering feelings of seeing a good looking guys and the teases that arose from my friends still makes me feel fluttery and smiling. But the breaking feelings of seeing someone once so close now became a stranger also still breaks and left me wondering, where was that person I knew been? Meeting new people and became close makes me smile. But avoiding them when they became a stranger sometimes breaks me. But everything is what I call memories, where I can never dwell in it. Only for the sake of reminiscing it is already enough.

People
-          People. The good one. The bad ones. The funny ones. The pretending ones. The strong ones. The good but bad ones. The bad but good ones. And the ones I fall in and out. These people decorated my life in campus. And in 2014, I was friends with these people. But I realised, caring about these people doesn’t make me a saint. Doesn’t make me happy. But only create negative me when I don’t get the same thing in return. And thus, a new me was reborn. The one who protects herself a lot. The one who still could smile despite not having anyone beside her. The one who could walk alone in life. The one who still care but not getting the same things in return no longer hurt. That’s the one I am now slowly turning into.

Feelings
-          Feelings. Particularly love? Yes, 2014 was filled with love. Love to my friends, the church, and family. How bout particular one person? Yes, I do in 2014. Ending was? The train left without me knowing and I didn’t get to buy the entrance ticket. I guess I have to wait for another train at another station next year. Do I regret? I don’t. If I have bought the entrance ticket and head towards the train, I might get into another accident in which I don’t know if I still could walk after that. But what if taking the train would be my happy ending? It will never be a happy ending. Don’t ask me how I know. I just know.

To end this post, I wanna say Goodbye to my campus in Keningau. You have given me the most wonderful experiences, as well as the worst memories. But after all, you will always be remembered. And I will be back there, but this time, as an ex-student and as a visitor. Last but not least, I shall end this post by officially closing the chapters in 2014, and preparing myself for another fresh post in 2015.

Happy New Year 2015!  Signing off from 2014,
Jenny~

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