First Love

First Love.
Everyone has their own first love.
It's either their crush back in secondary school,
or the guy / girl that they fell in love with in college,
or some might not have experienced with first love.

I once asked my friends,
how do you know if its your first love?
I mean, some of my friends have been in multiple relationships,
while I only had one.
So how do I know if he was the one?
My friends gave me a variety of answers.
Some said, first love gives you the zing.
Some said, first love is the one that you will remember the most.
And most of them said, you will know when you experienced it.

So when I was in my first relationship, I thought that was my first love.
But I was wrong.
I did loved but he wasn't my first love.
I couldn't remember the reason why I accepted the relationship,
I guess he was also a part of experiment that went wrong.
The pain I felt was not really because of him, but because of the feelings that he subjected me to feel,
which I am thankful right now.
At least right now, I know I wouldn't repeat the same mistake.

Then, today a colleague of mine asked me about first love.
The first person that crossed my mind was, him.
The stranger.
If you have been an avid reader of my blog,
I believe I have been mentioning about this stranger for over the past years.
And believe it or not, I still could talk about all the incidents as if it had just happened.
He gave the zing that the past-nerdy-me didn't know how to face it.
He gave a hope to me,
a continuous enthusiasm,
and last but not least, a strength to me.
When he appeared during my difficult times in relationship,
he acted as my reminder.
A reminder to me that,
in the midst of darkness,
there will be a light somewhere.

And right now, my path is still cloudy.
Still walking on this path with one hope.
To search for the light.
=Guide me=

Jenny~