Blank

Relationships.

I remembered my first crush back in high school,

how I would always sneak a peek on him during class,

or during recess time in canteen.

And always daydreamed of being with him one day.

But, got my little heart shattered,

and lost my self confidence for a while back there.

Fast forward to college,

met a guy, became fast friends, called each other like every night,

giving all kinds of mixed signals,

and eventually developed feelings,

then, gone.

disappeared.

and I was treated like a joke.

Fast forward to my 3rd year of college,

met another guy, always fight, always getting morning and night messages,

complimented and finally, became a couple.

two years into relationship with sweetness in the beginning and bitterness at the end.

broke up through social media which is so uncool,

giving me stupid reasons when the truth was,

him treating me like a band-aid,

and eventually went with some other girl right in front of me,

took me a great length of time to stop myself from clinging to the past,

from mentioning about him,

from hating and despising his every single action,

and finally, accepted and totally moved on.

Final year.

Met another guy,

became totally close buddy because we shared the same pain.

Thought that this guy would be there for me as a friend,

eventually got further apart,

and now, gone.

disappeared.

And right now,

meeting someone new is scary.

developing any new tingly feelings is terrible.

After going through so much,

I don't even know what I want,

what I seek,

what I need.

Can you tell me or guide me now?

Jenny~