Hate me or love me

 When I was in my twenties, 

I found myself wanting to be liked by everyone,

and would always worry and felt uneasy whenever I feel that someone didn't like me,

or give the cold shoulders.

I would sacrifice so much to please others,

and I would always think of what I did or said that might have made them despise me.

And it was tiring.

Now, entering the world of 30s,

I started to not give a damn about it.

People have their rights to hate me,

talk about me behind my backs,

despise me for my relationship with the higher authorities and admins,

but they would never know the real thing that is happening to me,

they would never know the great deal of maintaining these good rapport with them,

and they would never know the things that I have been doing to make their lives easier.

And because I don't give a damn about the cold shoulders I got,

the stares that people give to me,

the negative vibe that they exude around me,

I decided to look past those haters,

and work hard for my own benefits.

I decided to ignore the naysayers,

and only focus on how to be better in my work.

To those who hates or dislikes me,

haters gonna hate,

lovers gonna love,

I don't need your approval to thrive in this world.

Jenny~

Starting the 3-series

 Today marks the end of my 2-series journey and a new beginning with the number 3 in front of my age.

Reflecting back on my 20s definitely gives me a lot of mixed feelings,

beginning my early 20s in IPG and surrounded by lovely friends who had filled my days with love and joy,

entering mid-life crisis at the age of 25 with internal and external conflicts,

meeting the supposedly right guy which ended up in the worst heartbreak ever,

thinking that meeting the right colleagues and forming strong bonds would help in my career ended up being used and treated coldly for no apparent reason,

having the worst anxiety and panic attacks,

and struggling to pull through each day without crying myself to sleep every night.

And thank God, late 20s were the phase when I finally got over all the crisis and spent each year meaningfully in one way or another,

going for my Masters,

flying off for courses and to fulfill work obligations which earned me free trips and hotels,

enjoying food like there was no tomorrow until I reached the ultimate weight of 72kg, 

and not forgetting, the challenge of losing weight to be in the best shape for my friend's wedding,

with the main goal of scoring a man which I finally did,

and meeting my other half and spending my 29th birthday with the amazing partner by my side.

Life in 20s definitely was a rollercoaster,

and I am thankful to have rode on that rollercoaster that brought me mixed feelings every time I went through each and every post I wrote,

It definitely taught me a lot,

and it definitely help to shape the person I am right now.

Time to step into a new beginning,

and time to start a brand new day being in the 3-series.

May good things come in my way,

may more awesome adventures come in my sight,

and may more happy things coming in my life.

Let's do this!

Jenny.

Our one year.

One year.

365 days being called someone's girlfriend,

being pampered, paid attention and loved for 365 days.

Thank you dear.

Thank you for being at my side all this while for 365 days and more days.

Thank you for filling up my days with laughter with your acts and words,

Thank you for making me feel so loved each day,

and thank you for making me feel safe and secure everyday.

May we continue to be together spending each day, 

and laugh together,

eat together,

and making lovely memories together for a very long time.

May we continue to brace the good and the bad times together,

and may we continue to be patient with one another,

and grow more in love with one another.

Happy one year anniversary, love.

Jenny.

Resolutions.

So, resolutions. Let's take a look at my resolutions in the previous year 

1. Maintain my 62kg, pls!

- I wasn't able to keep to this resolution when I have such a loving and caring boyfriend! So basically, being at home almost all the time somehow made me forgot about the strict diet I had and started to follow up with my cravings. And I actually gained up to 66kg at one point of the year. However, after my parents were back and started to control my eating, I am glad to say that I am now at 63kg and still working hard to go back to 62kg this year!

2. Appreciate and cherish the moment spent with him.

- Achieved! We had so much things going on with each other and finding time to be at each other's side regardless of just chilling at home or going out for cake and food adventures. And I cherished each of those moments! Just hoping my boyfriend would see less phone and see more of me though!

3. Appreciate and cherish myself each day.

- And yes I do. I started to tell myself that I am good enough and that everything is okay. Despite there are times when I was really having low confidence over my legs with dark marks and spots, but I am trying my best to ignore the naysayers and focus on my own comfort! And I also went for an operation to remove the cyst in my mouth which had been causing me lots of discomfort for the past 6 years. It was indeed a painful process but hoping that all this would eventually end well and I will get back the normal life like everyone had.

So 2022 resolutions?

1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle as in physical and mental.

2. Spend more time with my parents and also cherish the lovely moments with my boyfriend

3. Seek for new opportunities in my career!

2022, I am excited to what you are going to bring for me!

Jenny~

A recap

 Hi!

It's been a while not updating this blog,

and it's not mainly because I was lazy, but I found that there are less things to ponder upon these days,

and more happier things to cherish with my loved ones.

So let's recap.

2021 started of well with us going back to school for offline teaching,

and that lasted for 3 months before the pandemic struck us again and we were left to do online teaching for almost 7 months,

the bright side was that I was able to do a lot of my own things at home despite being stuck at online lessons,

I was able to brush up my cooking skills and whipping up wonderful meals and take-aways for my boyfriend,

I was also able to spend more time with him and also giving some time off to myself.

The down side of being stuck at home and dealing with online stuffs was that it was endless.

Endless calls and unnecessary demands of works,

constantly being called upon admin to do their jobs,

and worst of it all, I experienced burnout which was something that I wouldn't experiences if it was offline lessons.

I got emotional, easily irritated and worst of all, anxiety and frequent panic attacks,

and it somehow affected my career and my balance of life which was quite sad.

I also had a brush with the pandemic in which my boyfriend was diagnosed as Covid positive,

and I, as his close contact.

It was really scary and worrying at the time as I didn't know what else to do aside from that,

but thank God, all was okay.

I was negative and he had fully recovered by now.

And that's it. 

There was no major thing happening in 2021 and it was quite a mundane and less exciting year,

but it was all fun-filled when spending it with my boyfriend who brought me for ice-cream and cake adventures,

and contributed to our weight gain.

Nevertheless, 2021 was okay.

And here hoping for a better and even more exciting year ahead!

Not too late to wish all a Happy New Year and may this year bring more love, comfort and exciting opportunities no matter in what you are doing!

Jenny~