February

 February.

The 2nd month of 2021.

And I am still working from home, 

not able to see my kids at school due to pandemic,

staying at home to avoid crowds and to safeguard myself as well as my family.

It hasn't been a great start of the year,

and I thank God that I am surrounded by wonderful people who kept me company.

Thank you for keeping me accompanied through daily texts and occasional calls.

It made me laughed and smiled a lot while going through difficult times of working at home.

Thank you making me feel safe and warm at the same time too.

Thank you for sending food and spending time with me at my home.

It meant a lot to me that you would take out some time to come and see me.

How silly was I before this.

Thinking that I wouldn't be able to meet someone better than the previous one,

for keeping hold on to the guy who brought more misery that happiness in my life,

and for beating myself up over a guy who made felt insecure the whole time.

How silly was I to think that no one could replace him.

And now, right here,

I am so thankful that you are present in my life,

making me feel so warm and happy.

Thank you, you.

You indeed meant a lot to me in the past, present and hopefully in the future.

Jenny. 

Unexpectedly

 Just when we thought 2021 would be a start of a probably great year, 

it feels like chapter 2 of 2020.

At the time of writing, Miri, which is the city I am living in is in red zone due to Covid-19,

and now undergoing CMCO to keep it controlled from getting spread even further.

Uncertainties started to flow in.

Going out for necessities or for leisure seems to be impossible for a moment now.

Going back to school for teaching seems to be the scariest thing to do especially when being in the red zone.

Not mentioning the weirdest weather where it has been raining and pouring almost daily,

causing wreak and havoc in certain parts of the city.

It has been only 13 days into 2021,

and yet, things seem to be getting more serious.

It feels like driving in an endless tunnel with no lights gradually.

Thank God, I have my sister beside me to keep me off from overthinking.

Thank God, I was able to call my parents daily just to update what's happening on both sides.

Thank God, I still have my best friend to text though not as often as before just to keep in touch.

and thank God, I have you who would text and the occasional calls to make me laugh and forget all these darkness for a while.

I hope that things will get better soon.

I hope we can meet up soon.

And I hope to see you and hear you laugh endlessly soon.

Jenny~

The feast.

 After a long journey, 

she had reached her destination.

She walked through the town and was in the middle of a feast.

A wedding feast, to be exact.

With the bride and groom dancing with delight,

and with the guests clapping, tapping and enjoying the feast,

she came across someone who looked familiar.

She walked nearer and nearer to get a clear glimpse of him,

and who knew it was someone who had accompanied her in her previous train journey,

a friend who was close for a period of time before he dropped off at the other station.

He smiled and said hello,

she smiled and waved back.

And it's the start of a new beginning.

A new beginning in a new town,

surrounded with new people,

and feeling warm again.

Thank God she decided to stop by,

Thank God she decided to join the feast,

Thank God he turned and said hello.

This is going to be another long stay.

And may this be a permanent stay.

Jenny

New Year resolution?

I guess it's not too late to wish all a Happy New Year 2021!

May this year be a better year to all, 

and that this is the year where we all would be able to bloom in our most wonderful ways.

I do know that entering 2021 with the current pandemic scare,

and also, with lots of obstacles and hardships that stemmed from the pandemic,

each and everyone of us is going through a tough time.

But may this tough time bear fruits,

and that all of us would be able to go through it and eventually, see the light at the end of this tunnel.

As for me,

I entered 2021 in a different way compared to last few years.

This year, I was accompanied by my family and a close friend who have kept me accompanied during New Year eve through texts.

And when I thought that it might be over there,

it didn't.

Thank God for sending me such a wonderful person whose by my side from the day I met him by accident till now.

May good things come from this.

New Year resolutions for 2021!

I do not have much resolutions to be made this year but here are some of the goals that I wish to achieve b the end of the year.

1. Maintain my 62kg, pls! 

2. Appreciate and cherish the moment spent with him.

3. Appreciate and cherish myself each day.

I guess that's it.

2021 will be a year where I will try my best to reduce my workaholic attitude and spend more time on myself and this newfound warmth. 

May 2021 be a great year despite all the negativity and dark holes.

Jenny~

Towards the end of 2020

 2020 is coming to its end,

and it's time to recap back the resolutions made.

So back in 2019, my resolutions for 2020 was quite general,

and it involves the following:

1. Loving myself more.

2020 was the year where I loved myself more than anything in the sense of being happy without dependent on others.

It was also the year where I decided to remove myself from toxic situations in workplace and just be happy by doing my own stuffs in my career.

It was the year where I was determined to lose weight and eventually succeeded in losing almost 10kg within 6 months through strict diet as well as workouts.

And it was also the year where I decided to purchase my favourite boyband's merchandise instead of only seeing in in the Internet.

This is the year where I have showered myself with love and being happy, truly happy despite suffering from several anxiety and panic attacks due to the current ongoing pandemic scare.

2. To find happiness in whatever that occurs in life.

2020 was the year where I try my best to look at things in a positive view.

Despite the pandemic scare as well as the fear of going out, I find simple happiness at home just by doing house chores.

Despite how disappointing it is to be unable to meet my pupils and only interact through online meet ups, I was still happy to see them being actively involved in the lessons. 

Despite being unable to graduate this year, I am still happy that I have finally done my Masters within the time frame that I have planned for myself.

3. Always anticipate the unknown ventures. 

Honestly, I thought that 2020 would be the year where I would be flying around the country to attend courses and to deliver courses,

but instead, I met the person that unknowingly brighten up my life day by day.

I thought that 2020 would be the year where I would be flying high in my career,

but instead, I met the person that makes me want to slow down in my career for the first time.

I thought that I would be ending 2020 like how previous years were, alone,

but instead, I met the person that celebrated Christmas Eve with me and tried his best to spend time with me through outings and texts.

I never expected this,

but thank God.

Thank God for sending this person into my life despite all the crazy stuffs and pandemic scares happening day by day.

2020 had been a confusing year to all.

A year where I spent the most time at home,

A year where I decided to finally move on and spent some time to build myself up physically and emotionally,

A year where I met him.

May 2021 be a much more wonderful year to all, 

a year where the pandemic would eventually disappear,

and all of us would be back to how we have always been normally.

Jenny~

Thank God for everything.

 Thank God for everything.

Thank God for all His arrangement and his perfect timing.

Thank God that I could meet you again after five years.

I am thankful and grateful that I decided to surrender my relationship to God.

Letting Him to arrange everything and just wait for it to fall into places is the best decision that I have made.

I am thankful that I was selected as the bridesmaid for Phoebe's wedding,

if not, I would not have been so determined to lose weight and to look beautiful that evening.

I am thankful that I didn't give up on my journey of losing weight and working hard to fit in that gorgeous dress,

if not, I would have dressed as how I usually did.

I am thankful that I took the initiative to text you first after meeting you for the rehearsal,

if not, I don't think we would even talk to one another.

I am thankful that I approached you first for our first picture,

if not, I don't think we would have chatted the night away.

And I am thankful for the little things that you did for me and on how you really took care of me,

it makes me feel so warm inside knowing that you are there.

And thank you for spending Christmas Eve with me this year.

You do not know how long have I wished for this to happen.

And it finally did.

Thank you.

and Thank You God for making this wish come true last night.

Happy birthday Jesus and thank you for the wonderful gift that You have bestowed upon me.

Thank you.

Blessed Christmas to all.

May the magic of Christmas be upon all of us,

and that Covid-19 would disappear as soon as possible.

Jenny~

What a coincidence!

What a coincidence!

I didn't expect to meet you again,

I even forgotten about your existence actually,

and that was the reason of me doubting my eyes when I saw you.

Who knew you would appear at my friend's wedding rehearsal as the best man,

and I as the bridesmaid?

And honestly, it felt so refreshing to meet you again,

and the way you reminded me of tuition and the stuffs we talked together,

Gosh, 

it brought me back to those days.

Life is unpredictable indeed.

Who knew we would meet again in a wedding.

And we would be updating each other about respective lives.

What a lovely coincidence.

Jenny