Am I?

When people ask you, are you lonely?
What do you usually answer them?
Yes, I am very lonely.
No, I am perfectly fine with being lonely.
Which one?

I got asked this question last night.
Going shopping alone, eating out alone, watching movie alone, and doing things alone, don't you feel lonely?
I insisted.
I said, no. I got used to it already.
But when I was asked once more,
i unknowingly said,
yes. But can I do anything with it?
Especially with trust issue and protective sides of me.
It's not easy.

Being alone is fine.
Being lonely isn't.
I have the same wish like everyone,
to be able to find one who can complete me,
and fill in this loneliness.
But,
who am I to decide this?
~sigh~

Jenny~

Indecisive

Went out for a casual hangout with a guy friend,

something that I have not done probably in 3 years after my break-up?

But it was a good meeting and catch-up sessions..

And it somehow sparked at how indecisive I am about my future goals..

When being asked about my long term plans,

I couldn't answer directly..

I was indecisive about what I really wanted.

I wanted glory at first, and then I wanted goal,

And then I wanted a relationship but I felt like I couldn't sacrifice yet..

That was really one time that I felt I became indecisive..

I wanted everything.

I wanted to achieve what my siblings might not be able to do,

I want to be in the limelight..

But I didnt think of the next step.

After getting a masters/PhD, what's next?

After being in the limelight, what's next?

If I am determined not to be able to find the one, what's next?

If I do get married, what's next?

Who knew growing up was this difficult?

Dear 16-years old Jenny, life isn't great at 23.. 

Jenny~

Convocation!

11.06.2015
An important date.
The date that marks the end of a phase and the beginning of another new phase...
Attended convocation on my own,
and I was proud with my achievement..
It was never an easy task,
and being awarded "First Class Honours" boosted my confidence and motivation..
And I am thankful to each and everyone who has helped me directly and indirectly...

And this post is dedicated to my teachers and lecturers..
Thank you for imparting your knowledge and constantly being there for us..

Dedicated to my friends of five and a half years,
Thank you for your help, endless sharing and information as well as tips and support during the whole period of time..

Dedicated to my roommate,
Thank you for listening to my endless talking-to-myself moments during exam, willing to discuss with such a random person with me as well as bringing me out for food which indeed is my favourite part of the memories we built as roomates..

Dedicated to my best friend,
Thank you for the endless last-minute-late-night discussions, whatsapp discussions, toilet discussions, shower discussions, and all the random places that we held discussions either about studies or relationships.. Those are the funniest, randomnest and best memories that I will always refresh you with even when I am old..

And last but not least to those whom left,
Thank you for leaving. Your absence has made me stronger and able to achieve what I have achieved today. If you guys didnt left, I might not be as successful as today.. And because of your absence, I found my presence in my successful limelight. And your absence has allowed me to seek the better me and the next best person who deserves such an awesome me.

This does not mark the end,
but the beginning into another remarkable journey in my career.
I will not stop here, 
but I will embark into another new adventure.
#letsdothis

Jenny~