Last night

Last night was an important night for her.
She got dressed up well,
holding gifts that she had made and bought,
waiting patiently,
until she saw his shadows, 
and finally saw him coming towards her.

It was his day.
She walked towards him and smiled,
and together, they went to their usual spot for a dinner,
chattering endlessly about so many things,
and laughing the night out.
They went to small stores nearby,
where he bought his own things,
while she always made sure to be near to him,
in case she got lost.
And he always turned his back and made sure she is there.

She felt safe with him.
After that, they went and sit at the bench while waiting for her train to come.
She gave him the first gift,
chocolate mousse instead of cake.
He smiled while listening to her reason of choice.
Then she gave him the second gift,
and for the first time,
she felt nervous while watching him opening it.
It was a box with handmade cards, drawn and coloured by herself.
He smiled broadly and couldn't say anything seeing it.
And she was happy, seeing his reaction.
It meant a lot to her,
seeing that all her gifts are appreciated,
and able to make him smile that way.

Her train carriage arrived,
she went up,
waved goodbye to him,
and smiled.
She walked towards her train carriage, 
smiling and couldn't stop feeling happy for what she has done.
Though her friends said that she is insane for being happy on things that aren't clear at all,
she smiles.
Sometimes, what made us happy is the things that we can't see or touch.
It is the things that we feel. 
And that matters the most.

Jenny~

Happy.

Happy.

Happy is a word that I find myself seldom use,

because it's something that I find it difficult to attain,

especially when it is not holidays,

or when I am at home.

But these days,

I am happy.

When I saw my pupils making funny antics in class,

I feel truly happy inside.

When I hang out with my friend,

I feel happy.

Really happy inside.

It's been quite a while not having this kind of warm feelings.

And it is indeed been quite a while,

not feeling this happiness,

where I get to talk to a person,

being the real me in front of him,

and just enjoy the company without having to think too much.

This is the feelings,

that I wish I could contain it in a box,

or like what Dumbledore does,

by extracting it out and keep it,

so I can re-watch the scenes again and again,

in case, if it stops happening one day.

Nevertheless, thanks for appearing,

and making my day brighter.

I hope I did the same too.

Jenny~

Missing

Train chugging along the railway,
and there she is,
at her old spot,
doing her usual routine,
reading her books, 
checking on her endless works,
sipping her hot cup of latte,
and just watching as time goes by.

Sometimes, 
she felt like something is missing in her life,
and instead of kept searching for it,
she tends to just give in to it.
There are times that she felt like a fool,
like she got tricked,
like she was being played around,
like it was something not supposed to happen to her.

But sometimes,
she felt like her life is complete,
and instead of doing anything to it,
she tends to just give in to whatever is in it.
There are times that she indeed felt like a fool too,
like she is feeling too happy with it,
like she is putting too much hopes and expectations in it,
like this is something too unreal for her.

Nevertheless,
she stopped herself from thinking way too much.
It is not the time to think so much,
but it's time to stay focus on her path,
especially in the crucial turning point of her career,
and just let the other side falls nicely when the timing has come.

She waits,
not for the particular friend only,
but for the right person to finally step forward,
and hold on to her.

Jenny~

Fireworks

Celebrating new year has always been indifferent for her,
spending nights sleeping across midnight,
waking up and watching fireworks outside her window is a norm.
She thought that for this year, it would be the same thing all over again,
but she was wrong.

He came up to her cabin,
offered her a dinner at the next station,
and she agreed to it.
Went with him for a dinner that she had longed for quite some time, 
and even went doing unplanned things for the night while waiting,
and for the first time, 
she actually stayed awake for the countdown,
and for the first time,
she was counting down to a new year with someone.

And there, they were,
chasing after fireworks,
watching fireworks here and there in awe,
something that she never dreamt that she could do it,
and for the first time,
she felt so warm inside,
something that she has never felt for a long time.

And with the new year here,
she hoped that one day,
she could be off from the train not only for a while,
but permanent,
and she could feel those sparks again,
like the beauty of the fireworks that they watched together in awe.

Jenny~

1.01.2017

Happy New Year 2017 to all!
I know that I should have posted about my reflections on 2016,
and how far did my previous resolutions actually worked out.
So before it is too late,
here it goes.

2016 first resolution was to:
1. Work hard in my career and learn whenever I am given the chance to do so.
Outcome = 

Yes, i did achieved this. I worked really hard in my career and did achieve some results when the pupils that I taught achieve good results in the subject that I have taught. I gained a lot of knowledge, experiences as well as learn how to handle people in this year. So far, I am proud to say that I indeed have worked hard enough and maybe a little too much.

2. Enjoy when I have time with the littlest efforts or in cheapest manner.
Outcome = 

I don't really know whether I did achieve this or not. But I am really lucky that I met a friend who brought me out to release tension and just have fun in the littlest efforts. I just realised that I went to the cinema more often in 2016 with my friend and I am glad that by meeting this friend, I get to enjoy more with or without his company.

3. Sign up for zumba classes and get off some sweats off during the weekends.
Outcome =

This is something that I can never achieve.. I seriously lack of discipline when it comes to exercising, which is seriously bad for my health and my weight. Weekends are either filled with school stuffs as in extra classes in the weekends as well as staying at home more often instead of going out. This is something that must be fixed!

4. And last but not least, love. Try opening up myself and give myself a chance to meet others.
Outcome = 
I dont know whether I did achieve this or not as well. I did opened up myself to certain people whom I trust and yes, I do try to meet others when there is any functions that needs my presence. And so far, it was good. Like I said, I am glad I met a friend who brought the best out of me and I was able to be myself around him without putting too much efforts or pretense. 

So, I guess that's all for my reflections in terms of my previous resolutions.
My new year resolutions?
I guess it would be more or less like the previous ones.
Here it goes:
1. Work hard in my career and always be professional when it comes to work.
2. Try to eat healthy and stay fit in whatever means.
3. Prioritise myself over others.
4. And last but not least, love. Love and appreciate myself more before loving and appreciating others.

Happy New Year 2017, reader!
May this year brings all of us happiness and makes us stronger in overcoming any hardships.
And for myself, think positive and try as much as possible to avoid drama and negativity.

xoxo
Jenny~