Happy birthday.
That would be the last birthday greeting from me.
That would also be the last text message that I would send to you ever again.
I am glad that I did text you.
I am glad that I didn't cave in and saying that everything is okay, and it's fine,
because it wasn't.
I am glad that I took the time to reply you.
I am glad that I am able to write down all the things that I wished to tell you during those years of being ghosted and left behind without any traces,
I am glad that I didn't forgive you that easily like last time,
and I am glad that I didn't cling on to the hope of you doing anything after the text.
I have finally found the closure.
I finally have the courage to remove your number and all the reminders of you from my life.
I am glad that I have removed you.
Cheers to a new beginning without you, for real.
Because I am done.
Jenny
Resolutions.
I remembered having set some resolutions in 2019.
Let's recap and reflect on those goals that I have set in 2019.
1. To work hard in both my career and studies.
= Well, I achieved this goal for sure. 2019 was the year where I worked my ass off in both career and my studies. I remembered how fulfilling and tiring it was at the same time trying to balance both my career and studies at the same time. There were times when I had meltdown as I was contemplating and started to regret on the amount of workloads that I have brought upon to myself. But at the end of the day, I was glad that I pulled through those lonely nights, trying to complete my assignments as well as preparing my lessons and meeting deadlines for both aspects.
= Good news for 2020?
- Workloads seem to be still the same but a little exciting as I am going to be involved in organising several events which I can go out and meet new people!
- Studies are coming to an end! All is left is editing my project paper as well as my article, going off for a conference and get my paper published and then, #road toconvocation!
2. To pick up a dance class for the sake of my career
= I didnt achieve this goal at all. I didnt sign up for a class as I was too preoccupied of getting my work done at school as well as in my studies.
= Good news for 2020?
- Well, I don't think I am going to pick up the class after all. I rather spend the time on myself and try to rest and relax as much as possible after having such 2 hectic years that were mostly comprised of going back and forth to school as well as university.
3. To be happy regardless of what happens throughout the year.
= 2019 is the year that I achieved this goal though there were several roadblocks on the way. One of it was meeting him in a briefing for a competition and receiving endless updates about him. And the only way to push him away from my life was being occupied with works. And that's the best thing that ever happened to me as I grew happier and more comfortable with the current condition I am in.
4. To be less troubled with matters that are out of my control.
= 2019 is also the year where I reset my mindset and my view on things that are out of my control which includes relationship. And that was the best decision that I ever made as I was able to focus on myself, my career and my self development instead of weeping about relationship. 2019 was also the year where I stopped searching and just truly enjoy living with how things are. And 2019 was also the year where I stopped talking about how lonely I am as well as how much I missed those old days with him. A pat to myself!
All in all, 2019 was a pretty good year for me.
A year where I was flourishing in my career,
A year where my sanity was tested with countless number of assignments to be completed in the shortest time,
A year where I get to go to new places for the sake of work demands and enjoy being solo,
And a year where I decided to love myself instead of loving the past.
2020.
My goal for 2020 is going to be simple.
To love myself more,
To find happiness in whatever that occurs in life,
and always anticipate the unknown ventures.
Jenny~
I remembered having set some resolutions in 2019.
Let's recap and reflect on those goals that I have set in 2019.
1. To work hard in both my career and studies.
= Well, I achieved this goal for sure. 2019 was the year where I worked my ass off in both career and my studies. I remembered how fulfilling and tiring it was at the same time trying to balance both my career and studies at the same time. There were times when I had meltdown as I was contemplating and started to regret on the amount of workloads that I have brought upon to myself. But at the end of the day, I was glad that I pulled through those lonely nights, trying to complete my assignments as well as preparing my lessons and meeting deadlines for both aspects.
= Good news for 2020?
- Workloads seem to be still the same but a little exciting as I am going to be involved in organising several events which I can go out and meet new people!
- Studies are coming to an end! All is left is editing my project paper as well as my article, going off for a conference and get my paper published and then, #road toconvocation!
2. To pick up a dance class for the sake of my career
= I didnt achieve this goal at all. I didnt sign up for a class as I was too preoccupied of getting my work done at school as well as in my studies.
= Good news for 2020?
- Well, I don't think I am going to pick up the class after all. I rather spend the time on myself and try to rest and relax as much as possible after having such 2 hectic years that were mostly comprised of going back and forth to school as well as university.
3. To be happy regardless of what happens throughout the year.
= 2019 is the year that I achieved this goal though there were several roadblocks on the way. One of it was meeting him in a briefing for a competition and receiving endless updates about him. And the only way to push him away from my life was being occupied with works. And that's the best thing that ever happened to me as I grew happier and more comfortable with the current condition I am in.
4. To be less troubled with matters that are out of my control.
= 2019 is also the year where I reset my mindset and my view on things that are out of my control which includes relationship. And that was the best decision that I ever made as I was able to focus on myself, my career and my self development instead of weeping about relationship. 2019 was also the year where I stopped searching and just truly enjoy living with how things are. And 2019 was also the year where I stopped talking about how lonely I am as well as how much I missed those old days with him. A pat to myself!
All in all, 2019 was a pretty good year for me.
A year where I was flourishing in my career,
A year where my sanity was tested with countless number of assignments to be completed in the shortest time,
A year where I get to go to new places for the sake of work demands and enjoy being solo,
And a year where I decided to love myself instead of loving the past.
2020.
My goal for 2020 is going to be simple.
To love myself more,
To find happiness in whatever that occurs in life,
and always anticipate the unknown ventures.
Jenny~
Hi!
It's been a while not updating this blog especially during the long holidays.
So let's recap a bit on 2019 and what I am expecting on 2020.
2019.
2019 was a year where I had a mix of emotions throughout the year.
Ranging from being happy to being stressed at work and studies.
Happiness.
I found my happiness in my work and studies despite the occasional complaints of how tiring it is to juggle between two.
Work has been great and led me to learn as well as experience new ventures.
I got to go out a lot, travel to different parts of the state for work demands, sleep in various hotels and most importantly, learning to embrace this solo spirit through work demands.
I am glad that my colleagues were really helpful and have been the drive for me to be sane when dealing with so much work demands.
Unappreciated.
2019 was also a year where I felt unappreciated by my pupils.
Despite how much I have sacrificed for them and seeing them getting good results,
I thought I would at least received a simple "thank you" or a little gift from them as a token of appreciation,
but nothing.
I was quite upset and demotivated at the end of the day before I reminded myself that my main goal of teaching is to see changes amongst the weaker ones,
those who none believe could pass in the killer subject of English Language,
and though unappreciated, I am still proud of them who passed the subject despite my constant nagging, threatening, scolding and glaring.
Stress.
I was quite stressed out this year due to assignments.
The difficulty of juggling my time between work, assignments as well as my procrastination has actually taken a toll on myself,
which ended up on me being an emo freak or having mood swings.
And honestly, all those emo post is actually not dedicated to anyone,
it's the side effects of all the waves of workloads and assignments and papers to write in order to graduate in 2020.
Last but not least, self discovery.
2019 is the year where I stopped thinking or searching the love of my life.
Instead, I put it aside and placed my whole focus on my self development in work and studies.
And honestly speaking, though at times, it felt great but there are also times when loneliness strikes.
But it is through these loneliness and self discovery that made me realise that rushing into things won't make things happen after all.
It also made me realise that no matter how much I love a person, once he has turned his back on me, it is time for me to turn my back on him too.
Therefore, I told myself that I deserve someone better,
and I decided not be chosen, but to be the chooser.
I have also decided to let things go with the flow and focus on loving as well as prioritising myself first.
Therefore, 2019 was indeed a great year and I am happy to end the chapter of 2019 with good vibes.
2020.
I am looking forward to all the unknown ventures,
unknown conquests,
unknown experiences and new things,
unknown people,
and unknown relationship.
May 2020 be a great year for you and me!
Jenny~
It's been a while not updating this blog especially during the long holidays.
So let's recap a bit on 2019 and what I am expecting on 2020.
2019.
2019 was a year where I had a mix of emotions throughout the year.
Ranging from being happy to being stressed at work and studies.
Happiness.
I found my happiness in my work and studies despite the occasional complaints of how tiring it is to juggle between two.
Work has been great and led me to learn as well as experience new ventures.
I got to go out a lot, travel to different parts of the state for work demands, sleep in various hotels and most importantly, learning to embrace this solo spirit through work demands.
I am glad that my colleagues were really helpful and have been the drive for me to be sane when dealing with so much work demands.
Unappreciated.
2019 was also a year where I felt unappreciated by my pupils.
Despite how much I have sacrificed for them and seeing them getting good results,
I thought I would at least received a simple "thank you" or a little gift from them as a token of appreciation,
but nothing.
I was quite upset and demotivated at the end of the day before I reminded myself that my main goal of teaching is to see changes amongst the weaker ones,
those who none believe could pass in the killer subject of English Language,
and though unappreciated, I am still proud of them who passed the subject despite my constant nagging, threatening, scolding and glaring.
Stress.
I was quite stressed out this year due to assignments.
The difficulty of juggling my time between work, assignments as well as my procrastination has actually taken a toll on myself,
which ended up on me being an emo freak or having mood swings.
And honestly, all those emo post is actually not dedicated to anyone,
it's the side effects of all the waves of workloads and assignments and papers to write in order to graduate in 2020.
Last but not least, self discovery.
2019 is the year where I stopped thinking or searching the love of my life.
Instead, I put it aside and placed my whole focus on my self development in work and studies.
And honestly speaking, though at times, it felt great but there are also times when loneliness strikes.
But it is through these loneliness and self discovery that made me realise that rushing into things won't make things happen after all.
It also made me realise that no matter how much I love a person, once he has turned his back on me, it is time for me to turn my back on him too.
Therefore, I told myself that I deserve someone better,
and I decided not be chosen, but to be the chooser.
I have also decided to let things go with the flow and focus on loving as well as prioritising myself first.
Therefore, 2019 was indeed a great year and I am happy to end the chapter of 2019 with good vibes.
2020.
I am looking forward to all the unknown ventures,
unknown conquests,
unknown experiences and new things,
unknown people,
and unknown relationship.
May 2020 be a great year for you and me!
Jenny~
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