Current update

So, basically, I have been stuck at home for almost 2 months due to the current MCO as well CMCO.

And honestly, being at home for quite some time has been taking tolls on my mental health.

Previously, I had anxiety attacks and sudden pain as well as panic attacks at nights, 

which causes a disturbed sleeping pattern.

I would wake up in the middle of the night,

feeling panic and unable to breathe properly,

and having the fear of falling back to sleep again.

And because of that, I decided to make some changes in my life.

I decided to get engaged with exercise routine.

And I am really glad that I did.

I have been starting slow as I am not an exercise lover,

and it has helped with my anxiety a lot.

I started to sleep better,

less waking up in the middle of the night,

and less panic attacks.

I didn't realise the improvement until I stopped my exercise routine due to period.

And all the anxiety and panic attacks slowly emerge again,

which dawns on me that all the exercise routine is indeed helping me out.

And finger-crossed,

that all the exercise routines that I have been saving will eventually help me to combat my anxiety.

I really hope that it will disappear slowly,

and eventually, enable me to improve the quality of my life.

Besides that, career wise.

I have been using virtual meetings to meet and guide my pupils from time to time,

and have been joining courses with my headmaster and senior assistants.

And honestly, it felt great and honored to be able to join those modules with them,

as the new knowledge that I have gained somehow have changed my perspective on leadership.

Previously, I wanted to stay as a teacher.

Stay in this profession to continuously guide and make impact on the children,

but somehow, as I grow older,

I realised that something must be done in the higher authorities in order to create a ripple effect on the quality of education, 

and somehow, that has pushed my ambition and drive to a higher level.

Maybe its because I am still single and not being in a relationship has caused me to put my passion into my career.

And speaking of relationship,

I somehow have sort of lose a little bit of hope in this aspect.

I do still hope to get married by 30 or eventually.

But I start to slowly imagine myself working and traveling with my family and friends, 

instead of being settled down with a significant person.

I start to imagine bringing my best friend's kids around instead of my own child.

Is it wrong to lose hope on ever settling down?

Is it wrong to slowly lose hope on ever finding the one?

With the smallest hope that I am still holding one, I do hope to meet someone and eventually settle down like everyone does.

I certainly do hope.

Jenny~