28.02.2013 (part 1)

well, if u realised that this post is being divided into part in which i would like to start off with something with less burden.. and of course its about my life.. haha.. so i gut bugged up by this status update by a friend of mine and somehow what he said was true... we all need to have trust within a friendship.. and if we trust one another, we would tell stuffs to them and make them feel important.. i mean i feel important when people tell me stuffs that they rarely tell to others.. so when i read that, it actually sparked me to reflect and thought of what i have been doing..

sitting in a corner and hiding away the truth does not make me move on, but instead make me stuck to a position and also have to bear with what ppl thought otherwise.. so i took the courageous step to say that i would answer the truth whenever ppl ask.. and i told this friend of mine.. reaction was unexpectably big and yeah, i could imagine why he was shocked with the sudden confession.,, but the aftermath was good.. i received compliments and words of advice that really make me feel that by doing this decision, i would certainly help me to move another step further..

sometimes making the first move is super difficult but in order to stay alive and make wonders in life, i told myself to lift my head up and start to move.. because once im stuck, the feeling would never fade and i would suffer in silence again.. its time to move out of the corner and start looking at the rays of sunlight that just awaits for me to create miracles again...

so, right now, i feel much better..
much better than before.. =)

Jenny~

23.02.2013

i'm still not strong enough to say i'm ok.

i'm still not strong enough to say i moved.

and i'm still stuck in this place.

no matter how much i think i have moved,

it seems i didnt move at all..

i'm still stuck at this old place, recalling all those memories and shedding unnecessary tears..

and i dont know what am i supposed to do anymore.

Jenny~

21.02.2013

CNY holidays just passed and we're back to schedule again...
and it seems like this semester is somehow less stressful and a bit enjoyable..
well, at least before practical right?
but somehow, i'm taking things a little too easy this semester..
and while i'm updating this blog, i realised that i would be in a nightmare if i dont start anything now..
coz right now i have these particular stuffs to settle with:

1. TSL 3110 assignment which include lesson planning, planning of scheme of work and microteaching.. the "best" stuffs of all are its 100% coursework.. so yeah, 0% complete in this one..
2. LGA assignment which includes justifications and a short play which also carries 100%.. and its in progress but written justification seems like it is still hanging in the air.. haha...
3. EDU where i am supposed to write about marriage ceremony of my own race.. and its kinda difficult coz my family's own ethnicity is kinda rare to do research on... so am counting on the notes in the internet which is almost the same with my other chinese friends.. and yeah, 0% not complete...
4. another subject paper which is something related to classroom management where my group  is supposed to do presentation and yeah, until now, nothing has grown from the discussion...

and there's a lot more of activities and sports coming soon... gosh, somehow i feel like i have been too comfortable this sem.. gotta gear up before practicum starts which is on april.. must find a way to kick off mr. lazy away... haha.. hope everything will go well.. =)

Jenny~

14.02.2013

Its Thurday which coincides with Valentine's day..
well, lucky me coz im back home and locked out from the society who might be now holding hands, walking together, looking all lovey-dovey and stuffs like that..
somehow, i need a break from looking at those stuffs...
coz love isnt as wonderful as one might thought it would be..

well, it wouldnt be great spoiling ppl's mood about love..
but for me, if u love someone, everyday is Valentine's day..
we dont need one particular date to remind us how much we love someone..
well, i love ppl around me that loves me too..
those who cherished me in their life, i love all of u..
those who brought light and laughter in my life, i love u guys for making laugh till i drop..
for those who left and gave me unwanted memories, i love u ppl too coz without u ppl, i wouldnt know the right ways to go and how harsh reality is..

so, in conclusion, Happy Valentine's day to those whose single and taken..
those whose single, ur Mr/Mrs. Valentine might be still searching for u.. so just wait for God's miracle..
for those whose taken, love the ones u have and appreciate them like how they love and appreciate u..

Jenny~

6.02.2013

do you believe that life's a drama?

a drama with us as the main characters and those who passes by are supporting characters...

with all that is happening in our life creates a storyline for our own,

and with all the conflicts we have as the climax in the story...

life is indeed like a drama...

and because it is a drama,

we act according to how we want it to be,

but sometimes, it got so complicated that we do not whether we should carry on this acting anymore..

when we decided to be real and show everyone the facts,

we tend to stop ourselves from doing so..

somehow, we got so immersed in acting and making ourselves looking strong and happy outside until we forgot how we felt inside..

every laughter equals to every tears shed,

every strong looks we shows equals to how weak our little hearts are,

life always takes on an unexpected twist,

one day it could be a beautiful drama filled with love and tender care,

another day it could be another sad story filled with heartbreaks and tears..

when i thought of my own life, i feel that my life has been beautiful all this while,

but no matter how beautiful an item is, there will always be a fragile side..

maybe because of that every beautiful stuffs comes with a warning,

"Handle With Care."

Jenny~

3.02.2013

can't wait to go home..
i guess i need to go home and gain back the strength that i needed the most to endure this whole year..
i might look strong from outside, but inside, its as if everything is broken,
im stress thinking of studies, practicum that seems difficult, personal relationships that sometimes i cannot endure it.. seriously, its been quite a while but sometimes, i just wish some ppl would remember that im actually a human.. someone with feelings, someone who will get hurt when she is subjected to ur bullies, ur inconsiderate jokes and words.. not everyone can endure it ok.. try being in my position and get hurled with all cruel jokes that u think is funny..

i think i should start to search for something to tell all my feelings instead of this blog... this blog has been contaminated with all my emo-ness and complaints.. haha.. as if those whose reading this could even help me.. all they is to just read this and consider it petty or tell ppl how pathetic i am in my blog.. how i wish i could be someone who doesnt have feelings.. at least i dont feel hurt by all those words, accusations, meaningless stare as if i have took someone's boyfriend away, those words telling me how happy i should feel when im not and how lucky i am when im not..

sometimes i wish im in a drama when one day a guy just come up to me and tell me he would be my shield from all these things... but everything is just a dream.. a beautiful dream like the bubbles in the story "Little Mermaid" which will burst when it rises to air... mine too, it burst and left me lying on a harsh and cold reality..

*ignore this.. its another post when the hormones are raging~*

Jenny~