5.0.1.

listen,

see,

say

and then know.

if it was last time,

listening to it would make me cry,

seeing it will make me hurt,

and then knowing about it would make me cover myself in blanket and telling myself to stop crying..

but now,

listening to it make me smile,

seeing it make me close my eyes,

and then knowing it make me felt nothing at all..

because at the end of the day,

i was never the first choice,

i was the second.

i was never permanent.

i was temporary.

and because at the end of the day,

i have decided.

that u who came, have left.

and the memories created have been deleted.

Jenny~

500th post?

so, to commemorate my 500th post, i shall answer 100 most random stuffs.. and hope all of you would be as random as me while reading this.. and if u wanna do it, ur welcome to copy and paste.. teehee... so here it goes... ^^

• 1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
• - a) T-ara with Davichi = We were in love
• b) a chinese song that i dont recall its pinyin... teehee..
• c) Amanda Seyfried - Little House
• d) Big Bang - Lie
• e) Jay Chou - cant recall the name in pinyin too..
• f) Mask Love - MC Sniper
• 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
• - My soulmate.
• 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
• - no books around me.. teehee...
• 4) What do you think about most?
• - My future.
• 5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
• - o, its ok ****. We oledi figure out how to remove it.. hehehe... thanx **** and sorry menyusahkan...
• 6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
• - with clothes on
• 7) What’s your strangest talent?
• - i dont know.. hahaha/..
• 8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)
• - Girls are pretty.. Boys suck...
• 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
• - i actually had a song written with my name, Jenny by The Click Five.
• 10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
• - never in my life..
• 11) Do you have any strange phobias?
• - nope...
• 12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
• - tissue when i was still small... hehehehe...
• 13) What’s your religion?
• - Roman Catholic
• 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
• - simply looking at the sky.. hehe...
• 15) Do you perfer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
• - in front of it...
• 16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
• - CN Blue!
• 17) What was the last lie you told?
• - that everything is ok?
• 18) Do you believe in karma?
• - Yes..
• 19) What does your screen name mean?
• - Nothing.. just my name.. hehe...
• 20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
• - weakness = not able to say what i really wanted to say...
• - strength = try my best to make someone happy...
• 21) Who is your celebrity crush?
• - Jonghyun from CN Blue!
• 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
• - nope...
• 23) How do you vent your anger?
• - through blogging..
• 24) Do you have a collection of anything?
• - notebooks.. hehehe...
• 25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
• - if possible, video chatting online.. hehee...
• 26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
• - yes.. ^^
• 27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
• - i hate the sound of the dentist's drill and i love the sound of beautifully played instruments...
• 28) What’s your biggest “what if”?
• - "What if" i didnt make the choice?
• 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
• - ghosts. yeap... aliens, nope...
• 30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
• - nothing.. hahaha...
• 31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
• - nothing...
• 32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
• - i dont know... havent went to one yet.. hehe..
• 33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
• - West Coast
• 34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
• - Jonghyun oppa in CN Blue...
• 35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
• - life is all about making decisions..
• 36) Define: Art.
• - expressive..
• 37) Do you believe in luck?
• - yeah... ^^
• 38) What’s the weather like right now?
• - raining a little bit?
• 39) What time is it?
• - 11.29pm
• 40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
• - nope.. hehehe...
• 41) What was the last book you read?
• - i cant rmbr anymore... hahaha..
• 42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
• - kinda...
• 43) Do you have any nicknames?
• - used to.. now dont.. 
• 44) What was the last movie you saw?
• - i cant rmbr of watching any movie this year...
• 45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
• - thank God, i didnt.. hehe..
• 46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
• - nope...
• 47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
• - currently, nope... hehehe...
• 48) What’s your ?
• - ?
• 49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
• - yeah, like always.. sheesh...
• 50) Do you believe in magic?
• - kinda...
• 51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
• - truthfully, yeah.. but if that person is someone really close to me, i try to let it go.. hehehe...
• 52) What is your astrological sign?
• - Aries
• 53) Do you save money or spend it?
• - i save as well as spend..
• 54) What’s the last thing you purchased?
• - food.. hehe...
• 55) Love or lust?
• - love
• 56) In a relationship?
• - single
• 57) Are you a virgin?
• - yeap
• 58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
• - certainly not...
• 59) Where were you yesterday?
• - in church.. hehee...
• 60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
• - nope...
• 61) Are you wearing socks right now?
• - nope...
• 62) What’s your favorite animal?
• - i dont know.. maybe puppy?
• 63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
• - i dont know.. by trying to get what they like to talk about?
• 64) Where is your best friend?
• - in her room.. hehe...
• 66) What is your heritage?
• - i dont get this question.. ahaha...
• 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
• - preparing my lesson plans...
• 68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?
• - i dont know... =.=
• 70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
• - i guess so.. hahahha...
• 71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
• - i would rather save the dog's life... its too pitiful.... =(
• 72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
• - a) I will tell the closest one to me about that..
• b) I will spend it with my loved ones and take a lot of pictures..
• c) Yes, i will..
• 73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
• - trust.
• 74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
• - CN Blue's song: Sarang by Jonghyun
• 75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
• - 3659
• 76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
• - trust, assurance, love and sense of belonging..
• 77) How can I win your heart?
• - by making me laugh, safe and secure as well as showing me that u deserve me...
• 78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
• - sometimes.. hehe...
• 79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
• - entering into this college..
• 80) What size shoes do you wear?
• - 36
• 81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
• - I dont know..
• 82) What is your favorite word?
• - "seriously?"
• 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
• - heart beats seeing u...
• 84) What is a saying you say a lot?
• - its like that de lah.. hahahha...
• 85) What’s the last song you listened to?
• - How are you by gavvy nj...
• 86) Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors?
• - i like red, black, white and so much more...
• 87) What is your current desktop picture?
• - a quote...
• 88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
• - no one.. im not that evil.. hehehe...
• 89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
• - i dont know..
• 90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
• - umm, scream?
• 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
• - able to turn back the time and look at how i was in the past...
• 92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
• - the moment with him again.
• 93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
• - the moments we spent together..
• 94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
• - CN Blue, Jonghyun!
• 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
• - UK..
• 96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
• - nope
• 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
• - yeap..
• 98) Ever been on a plane?
• - yeap
• 99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
• - I wish that all of u would appreciate whoever is beside u right now...
• 100) Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr.
• - none.. 

so, that's the end of the 100 most random stuffs i ever written here.. haha.. enjoy reading them and do make it as one of ur blog post as well yeah..

Jenny~

sharing.

well, i pretty had a long weekend,
so instead of filling these times with my workloads,
i decided to make full use of it to do what i like to do,
like reading articles,
and yeah, i came across with this one..
and its about 14 of life' toughest moments that time will always cure..
and in my blog here today,
i wish to share some,
and you can read the rest in the link below:

http://elitedaily.com/life/14-of-lifes-toughest-moments-that-time-will-always-cure/

1. An Aching Heart

Nothing heals a broken heart better than time. From the moments you can’t catch your breath to the silent pain that aches within your soul, time slowly alleviates all the symptoms of a heart that’s been torn in half.

2. A Case Of Homesickness

The pain of missing home is a hard one to bear. However, the longer you spend in your new surroundings, the more comfortable and less lonely you become. Homesickness is an inevitable side effect of leaving your comfort zone and the more time you spend away, the less time you spend thinking of home.

3. A Lost Way

Those moments when you’re lost feel like they’ll last forever. It’s the gut-wrenching feeling that you will be walking around lost for the rest of your life. But you will always find your way back. Time will do that, it will bring you where you need to go.

so, u might wonder why i chose these three out of all the 14 mentioned.. maybe because those three are the things that i have been experiencing and might be still experiencing till now.. a heartache that sometimes still ache, homesick whenever i feel lonely and crave for good food and always seem to be lost. 

they say, its good to tell someone about wat u feel inside. but then again, how many would understand the real feelings that u went through? only time can understand and heal.

Jenny~

alone.

tonight.
alone in the room,
looking on my notice board,
where i filled it with stuffs that i am afraid i would misplace (basically college stuffs),
and then looking at the one spot,
where i placed pictures..
pictures of me and my dad,
pictures of my whole family,
pictures of me and my best friend,
and then suddenly i realise there is one more spot missing.

sometimes, looking at the whole notice board,
i felt like as if i am looking into my own heart.
filled with workloads and endless stuffs that cannot be forgotten,
and then there will always be one spot,
where of course, God will be in there,
and then my family will be in the next part,
and then, my best friend and all my other friends will be in one part,
and then,
there it is,
one more part unfilled.

i wish,
i really wish,
renovations and works has been completed in that particular part,
and that the right person would stroll his way to this part,
and fill in the gap.
but at the end of da day, it will always and always be,
i wish.

Jenny~

Happy belated birthday to me!

so, yeah
the title says it all..
hehe...
weird coz am wishing myself a belated birthday today,
but anywayz,
im welcoming myself to the club of the 22-ers..
hehehe...

though i am not so sure how many would be reading this post,
but thank you so much,
thank you for the wishes in Facebook,
though i know most of you remembered my birthday through facebook notifications,
but still, the thoughts and willingness to post on my timeline is indeed meaningful to me,
hehe...
and yes, thank you all of u so much..

thank you to those who wishes me through smses and watsapps,
its really nice seeing that u guys remembered to wish me,
and seeing all the text messages and blessings poured to me,
i felt really blessed..
thank you too to the loveliest friends who were willing to spend time and money in celebrating my birthday amidst all the hectic schedules as well as tight budget,
i know how it feels and im really thankful for everything u guys have done for me..
it touched me and though it was just a mini celebration,
its the thoughts that count..

thank you for all ur wishes,
thank you for all ur sincerity,
thank you for ur time,
and thank you for making me smile,
and for the first time in 5 years of celebrating my birthday away from home,
i am proud to say i didnt cry yesterday..
and last but not least,
thank you to my mom n dad for having me,
and thank You, God for giving me another chance to live in this world..
loves, hugs and kisses to all of you.. ^_^

Jenny~

#potd

teehee..
so tried out my own new hashtag, #potd aka post of the day..
sorry, being random since yeah, feeling better these days,
pre-period makes me felt really stressed out and yeah, emotionally unwell..
and because of that, i stayed out of blog..
yeah, like you know, in case of blogging something emo which i only felt that day..
so yeah, better not since as a blogger, blogging on the same thing is boring, 
and for the readers, i would just give them the thoughts of, "just get a life, girl!"
so yeah, trying my best not to write those kind of post if possible..
teehee..

anywayz, these days were like so hectic,
with deadlines on the proposal,
observations for practical,
interventions to be carried out for action research,
and the end of practicum is emerging..
and somehow, all this made me really tired inside and out..
but luckily, i have my friends who always kept me laughing,
and my family members that always complain to me as if im da eldest..
and somehow, it felt nice being appreciated once in a while..
but yeah, no matter how stressful or hectic it is,
i believe that its only temporary,
things will be hard in the beginning,
but after that, things will go smoothly..

its the same with relationships,
its difficult adjusting to being single at first,
but when u get a hang of it, it seems pretty easy day by day,
all u gotta do is just give urself some time..
and same goes to being back in a relationship..
and this part, i shall not talk much about it,
since im not back in any relationships yet,
and i guess, i will talk about this when i do get into one,
somehow, somewhere.
teehee.

Jenny~

sharing.

so, its the weekend!
and yeah, slept at 1am last nite and woke up like around 1130am?
seriously, its da best feeling i ever had with my bed..
but then again, workloads are pending,
and yeah, looks like tonight is gonna be another night to stay up and complete my works before moving on to the next one..
anwayz, so i was on the Internet doing what i usually do,
reading articles..
and i cam across with a few quotes that i would like to share from the series, How I Met Your Mother..
its a really awesome series where i can feel how each character is going through especially Robin and Ted,
but havent watched the finale yet,
anwayz, these are some that i feel really touched me, my life and whatever is going on in my life:

1. When to know we meet our soulmate? 
"When you meet the right person, you know it. You can't stop thinking about them. They are your best friend and your soul mate. You can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare." – Ted Mosby

2. What about future? 
"Because sometimes even if you know how something's gonna end, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride." – Ted Mosby

3. How love overcomes perfection?
"Here's the secret, kids. None of us can vow to be perfect. In the end all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we've got. Because love is the best thing we do." - Ted Mosby

4. Life is much more prettier when we know when to let go. 
"Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face. There's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward. And that kids, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasn't mine. Mine was still out there, waiting for me..." – Ted Mosby

5. and one of the most touching quote that somehow inspires me to write the next post:
"You wrote down all these things to say goodbye to, but so many of them are good things. Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost. To all the times it was a 'no' instead of a 'yes.' To all the scrapes and bruises. To all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything you really want to do for the last time. The good things will always be here waiting for you." – Lily Aldrin

and to end the post for today,
"Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things." - Ted Mosby
Jenny~

Its April!

Welcome April!
the month that i love and somehow feeling sad as well,
love because its gonna be the final weeks for my practical,
but kinda sad coz no matter how much i am stressed due to my practical,
i am still into teaching rather than sitting in a lecture room..
being able to mix and mingle with kids somehow makes me happy and angry at times,
but at the end of the day, they still need me.

next, its gonna be my birthday real soon!
but somehow doesnt really anticipate it..
not because i am afraid to turn 22,
but the thought of celebrating it without my family members,
the thought of celebrating it different from how i used to celebrate it,
somehow makes me feel like just wanna go through the day at least without crying in the middle of the night,
might as well just buy a cake, sing a song for myself, eat it up and then, back to reality..
sounds really sad, but i guess i have to get used to it..

Anywayz, enough of being sad..
in this month, all i wish for is,
to be happy and that everything that has been planned would go smoothly.
to be confident with my decisions and stick with that i have decided..
and last but not least, to smile..
smile though i dont want to. ^_^

Jenny~