letting go

It is almost the end of Raya holidays!
And it was fun visiting houses from houses, 
and of course, the food and kuih were delicious!

But, holidays still end,
and it is working day tomorrow..
And I have been having some issues with myself..
In terms of physically and mentally..
And thus, I have come to a decision.
It is time to let go.
Let go of all the toxic food, people and memories,
that unknowingly has been killing me inside out.

I dont want to regret at the age of 30 for my health,
therefore, I strive to eat healthily now.
Been preparing vegetables for my dinner and keeping hydrated is my main goal!
Replacing sweets with fruits, and reducing intakes of junk food.
I guess it's enough of binge eating.
It's now back to controlling myself and my diet.
Exercise is also another huge step,
but let's do this slowly!
For my confidence as well as for my health.
And of course, indulgence weekend will still on,
No point of starving myself from the food I loved, right?
But the key point here is, reduce, reduce, reduce!

Toxic people.
I thought I have let go enough,
But like what one of Taylor Swift's song said,
Just because you're clean, doesn't mean you dont miss it.
I just realised the impact was far greater than I thought,
and it is affecting my life and feelings these days.
And because of that, I now strive to feel healthy feelings.
Been preparing myself to go out and meet people,
Replacing old memories with new ones, and reducing time to think about the past.
I guess it's enough of looking backwards at times.
Seeing you perfectly happy with your choice does ache me,
But I shouldn't..
We were, after all, belong to different train carriages.
You found your partner, and it's my time to find mine who would accompany me for hot chocolates throughout the journey.
I can't guarantee it, but for the meantime, I will love myself like you never did.
For my own happiness as well as for my future partner's happiness.
Key point here is, keep moving forward. What was left behind should stay behind.

This should be done in the early of the year.
But I guess it is not too late to realise,
realise that I wasnt strong after all.
And it is time to pick myself up and start anew.
Never too late to make a change.
And never too late to make myself happier each day.
Let's do this.

Jenny~