Am I?

The first thing that always come to my head when I couldn't get what I want is, 
am I not trying hard?
Is it because of the new year or
is it because people around me are progressing to the stage that I am not moving,
or 
is it because I do not try harder?

Sitting at the train carriage for quite some time,
looking at passengers that got off this train,
seeing their faces lit up when getting off the train,
seeing them embark on another new journey together with someone else,
makes me feel,
how long must I continue on this journey?
Is it time to change a carriage?
Or is it time to get off this train carriage and embark on another new adventure
alone?

They say, the more you wait, the better you will get.
They say, the best thing is worth the wait.
They say, go with the flow. There are things that we can't force.
They say, one day you will be happy too.
They say, he is out there.

But can you tell me?
The more I wait, will I get better?
Is the best thing really worth the wait?
Do I still have to go with a flow that seems to not be flowing.
Is he really out there?
Or am I not trying hard enough?
Or have I started to give up?

Should I get off now, or should I stay?

xoxo
Jenny~