Unfair

There are times when I felt unfair,

unfair on why some people could easily complain and get excused in work,

unfair on how people who don't really work still get recognition while those working their asses off aren't getting any,

unfair on why these people are still sitting in the office "working" while complaining about their work,

unfair on why they could simply use the terms such as "burnout", "stress" and "couldn't sleep at night" just because of an upcoming competition.

I am not a perfect person,

some people say that I am a crazy workaholic lady who takes upon all kinds of jobs,

but mind you,

I dont work for recognition,

I dont work for the sake of achieving fame,

I work for the sake of my school and my pupils,

I make things happen because I wanted to try new challenges,

I create new things in school because I have faith that things would work out even if it means that I have to stay back at school every afternoon,

I accept jobs because I was not given any choice to,

I tried rejecting jobs but who am I to say no when my big boss trusts me with more and more responsibilities each day.

There are days when I wished I could just stop and rest,

Days when I wished I could just go back home and sleep,

Days when I wished I don't have to do anything but to teach.

But I know that I couldn't stop myself from working.

Work has became my current obsession.

My place to escape reality.

My place to escape from the constant overthinking about things.

And my toxic happiness.

Therefore, before you complain about your endless work,

please step into someone else's shoes before even dare to declare that you are burnout.

Your attitude is what burns you down.

So walk the talk,

be the role model that you wish to be remembered with,

and not the person who only knows how to complain, reprimand and talk bad about someone else's work or achievements.

Jenny~

New place

I remembered how I hated changes.

How I hated to move around and having to adjust at a new place.

How I hated to make new friends and leaving people whom I am comfortable.

How I always felt sad when change happened,

and how I always despised change.

But now,

I have finally brought myself to embrace change.

A change in the environment where I am staying,

Moving to a new place helped me to start over my life,

and renew myself again.

I thought I would miss the old place I stayed,

but I guess I am not.

I am glad to move out,

I am glad that I have the chance to start anew at a new place,

and leaving all the memories at the place where it should be.

A change with my attitude with people,

A change whereby I stopped clinging to people to be happy,

and starting to feel happy with loneliness that I am dealing with.

I am thankful and grateful that I found the new meaning of love,

where love should be first poured to myself,

where love should be treating myself well,

and love should be from within before it radiates to other people.

I finally stopped myself from chasing after love,

I finally stopped putting hopes and expectations to people I just met,

and finally, focusing on myself.

Change is inevitable.

Embrace change,

and fall in love with the process.

Jenny~

27.

Happy birthday to me, myself and I.
26 has been a great year,
despite the ups and downs,
26 has been an eye opening age where I learnt a lot.
Learnt to embrace both happiness and sadness.
Learnt to let go when the time comes.
Learnt how to focus on myself more than anyone else.
Learnt to finally prioritise my time and happiness above all.

I am thankful for the people around me this year,
thankful to my parents who decided to drop by though it was a short weekend,
brought me food and offered me with much laughter, warmth and of course, lecture session.

I am thankful for my best friend,
who sent me presents despite not asking for it (this year!),
for just being there for me.

I am thankful for my colleagues who wished me good wishes,
who brought me out for a lunch treat,
who never fails to make me laugh my heart out,
or just being there to listen to my complaints at work as well as in personal life.

I am thankful for all my friends who wished me well,
Old friends who have kept me in company since primary and secondary school.
Old friends who are now a part of my family since IPG,
New friends whom I just met while doing my Masters program,
and new friends who brighten up my day though we were not very close in classes.

Thank you everyone.
Thank you for remembering,
Thank you for the well wishes,
and thank you for just being there.

27.
Let's create awesomeness.

Jenny~