Changing myself for someone?

The other day, a friend of mine was texting me and we talked about how I thought of going further in my career.

I told her my intention of getting a PhD and move forward to IPG for my career,

as I feel that I can go further in my career,

but the worries and anxiety of not being able to find the love of my life if I really go down that path trouble me till today.

That is when she said that why guys can't accept smart women or those who are able to make decisions themselves,

and often go for naive, innocent and weak girls  who submit to them and need their protection at all times.

This caught my attention which I thought of sharing my views on this matter.

I have changed myself for the sake others,

either to be liked by someone or when in a relationship.

I changed into someone who submit fully to them,

who let them make decisions for me,

who was clingy, naive and innocent,

and it backfired.

None of these guys stayed and all left,

and this made me wonder.

Why?

I changed.

I became that type of girl that you liked.

I tried to like the same things that you liked,

and you still left?

Some of my friends said that I should be myself.

Some of them told me to change some of my attributes,

try to be softer and nicer,

and it was frustrating to be someone that I am not.

I couldn't last for 3 days before my real personality comes out.

And it sucks that till today, I couldn't find someone who could accept me for who I am.

Just because I too my Masters and planning on PhD does not mean that I am smarter than you.

Just because I want to advance in my career doesn't mean that I am at the top and you are not qualify in my list.

I always thought that we girls are the most complicated human beings on Earth,

but right now, I think that guys are the worst.

If you have feelings for someone initially, then continue to pursue someone.

Don't pursue someone halfway and realised that you do not have any feelings towards her, 

and then, make her fall in love with you and then, breaking her heart.

It is because of these occurrences that made me stop thinking and pursuing for love and relationship.

I hate playing the push and pull game in love.

I hate being given so much hopes and eventually, ending in nothing.

I hate changing myself for someone else, and eventually, he left at the end of the day.

I hate the fact that advancing my quality of life means that it's over for love and relationship because of these traditional mindsets.

So can you accept me as it is?

Can you accept this woman in her late twenties who is planning to advance her career in 2 years time?

Can you accept this woman who is clingy, insecure and seek to be your only one in life?

Can you accept her for all her physical and emotional attributes that makes you think she is confident but she isn't?

Can you accept this broken soul?

Jenny~