Happy Valentine's Day.

 14.02.2021.

Valentine's Day used to be a day where I would sit in my room alone,

lying on my bed,

scrolling on social media and seeing all the happy couples posting pictures of them celebrating,

while I'm all alone in my room.

And eventually cried myself to sleep or bringing work to my table and worked till I'm tired and dozed off.

But this year, it was different.

For the first time after almost 10 to 11 years,

I finally get to spend it with someone special who I am glad to call as my boyfriend.

And for the first time, I felt so lucky to have spent this day like how I wanted it to be,

simple.

Instead of expensive flower bouquet that wouldn't last long,

he gave me a pot of orchid that will bloom always when taken care of with love and attention.

Instead of spending time at town,

he came to my house, gave me lots of hugs and kisses, and brought me for a short walk while holding hands at my neighbourhood.

Instead of fancy dinner and steak + wine,

I cooked simple dishes for dinner and he finished everything up though I doubt whether it was really nice or not,

Instead of going home after dinner, he insisted to stay longer to accompany me and to listen to all sorts of stories,

while laughing and having a great time.

This is indeed the kind of Valentine's Day that I wish to do with my partner.

Simple and filled with love is more than enough for me. 

Thank God that you were here.

Thank God for sending you at the right time.

Thank God for everything. 

Jenny~

She said yes.

She woke up in the morning,

smiling while replaying all the moments previous night.

The moment when he lights up seeing her,

The moment they were laughing and talking with one another,

The moment they first embraced one another warmly,

and the moment when he smiled shyly before asking her to be his special one.

And she said yes.

It felt so unreal and yet, it was real.

She looked outside her window and was glad that she made the decision.

The decision to stay in this town.

The decision to let God to handle everything.

and the decision to fall in love again with the right man.

Yes.

Jenny.

09.02.2021 *hearts*

 Today is the day that I was embraced warmly by you.

Today is also the day that I somehow drove you to the corner by asking what am I in your life.

I wanted a label,

and I was actually scared that one day this sweet dream of mine would pop,

and things will become the worst nightmare.

At least, knowing what am I in your life will help me to determine my feelings in the future.

I didn't expect you would ask me the ultimate question,

and I am sorry if it felt like I forced you to do so.

But my answer is yes.

And no matter what, it has always been yes.

And I am ready to go through this together with you.

Let's embrace each other strengths and weaknesses as we go through each day together.

Thank You God for answering my prayer.

Thank You so much.

The day I am officially taken but not announced to the world. 

Jenny~

Thank you.

 Thank you for being at my side during my mood swing session last couple of days.

Thinking back about the past,

none of the guys really comforted me during my emo sessions,

instead just stayed quiet or making me feel even worse by having to attend their emo sessions instead.

I have been so many people's centre of relief,

and to be able to be relieved by someone else,

to be able to be comforted by someone else,

and to be able to laugh at silly random TMI and pop quiz,

is something that I really appreciate.

Thank you, you,

for making me felt accompanied the whole time I was feeling down,

for making me feel that you are right next to me the whole time,

for making me laugh at your sudden TMI and also pop quiz that makes me blur and speechless.

Thank you, you.

Jenny~

Warm and fuzzy

 Thank you for making me feel warm and fuzzy yesterday.

It's been a while not feeling the warmth from someone else.

And it's indeed quite some time not sitting side by side with someone who makes me feel so safe and warm.

Thank you, you.

Jenny~

February

 February.

The 2nd month of 2021.

And I am still working from home, 

not able to see my kids at school due to pandemic,

staying at home to avoid crowds and to safeguard myself as well as my family.

It hasn't been a great start of the year,

and I thank God that I am surrounded by wonderful people who kept me company.

Thank you for keeping me accompanied through daily texts and occasional calls.

It made me laughed and smiled a lot while going through difficult times of working at home.

Thank you making me feel safe and warm at the same time too.

Thank you for sending food and spending time with me at my home.

It meant a lot to me that you would take out some time to come and see me.

How silly was I before this.

Thinking that I wouldn't be able to meet someone better than the previous one,

for keeping hold on to the guy who brought more misery that happiness in my life,

and for beating myself up over a guy who made felt insecure the whole time.

How silly was I to think that no one could replace him.

And now, right here,

I am so thankful that you are present in my life,

making me feel so warm and happy.

Thank you, you.

You indeed meant a lot to me in the past, present and hopefully in the future.

Jenny.