and i wonder if i ever cross ur mind...

hmm..

holidays was meant to be a happy one but so many surprising things took place before holidays.. some were good ones and of course, some are totally surprising that reli took me aback.. well, things had changed and cannot be turned back already.. to da person we love so much, i hope ur happy wit ur decision.. its difficult to accept it for so many ppl out there including me.. but am tryin to accept u juz da way u are..

ppl are disappointed wit ur changes but for me, i guess u know what u make and i know tat u wont regret for da decision u made.. though u will change physically and in faith, but i guess ur juz another human being that need love and support, similar to all of us.. and from da situation tat i can judge in my perspective, its gonna be another difficult year to go thru... its gonna be another challenging year and im not too sure whether im ready for it.. sigh.,.. why does it hav to be so difficult for me?

i guess i need a lot of support from ppl around me including my piggy.. sigh.. i miss my piggy.. and hope he misses me thr too..

=do u think of me like i do?=
Jenny

250th post.

grateful to God that everything went smoothly throughout the year...

met wit a lot of people and make lots of new friends..

some left, some come and stay..

became Cinderella for a night when i thought thrs little possibility..

met wit someone that changes my life in and out..

maintain super-awesome friendship with my BFF..

went thru disappointment in test but rise up and make changes...

went for camp (first time!) and KL (first time too!)...

had da best bday ever..

met reli cool lecturers and went thru great time in lecture class (though at times its tiring)

completed assignments and juz praying that evrythin is ok..

my wish came true during da cny night...

and all i can say is,

thank u to my BFF for stayin at my side all this while, went thru ups and downs wit me and of course, for letting me bugging u at all times.. haha..

thank u to my piggy for entering my life and never left after since, as well as changin my life in and out too...
thanx for creating wonderful and great memories for me..
and thanx to evryone whose directly or indirectly involved in my life.. all of u made a presence and changes in my life, making me a better person in one way or another..

anywayz, all i can hope now is for a good result, good relationship as well as harmony in whatever im gonna do nxt yr.. hehe... im gonna miss my piggy during holidays....

=love u=
Jenny~

comin soon.

one paper has finally passed and 3 more major papers at 3 consecutive days are gonna happen nxt week.. and of course after exam, is HOME! well, of course i always hav mixed feelings about evrything including this too.. i mean im super excited to go home since tats da oni way for me to save my money, meet my family and of course hav fun and not mentionin good food.. hehe... but a part of me is kinda sad coz yeah, am not gonna be meetin wit frens, laugh n gossip about ppl, and of course meeting my piggy.. yeah, kinda miss him during da hols, i bet, since im gonna be back in brunei... sigh... but im pretty hope its gonna be a reli good holiday before reality hits me back.. da "reality" i mean are:
1. announcement of results.. omg!
2. me being da class monitor... great. =.=
3. lotsa things to handle..
4. lotsa money comin in and also OUT, im super sure...

but am not gonna think tat far yet, focus on da present and make full use of da time so i wont regret anything.. hehe.. i love my family, friends and piggy.. =)

=moments=
Jenny~

random me..

got this while blogwalkin moments ago.. so yeah, did it and kinda interesting though.. hehehe...


1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
- Yeap, for sure
!2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
- hehe... i dont think so..
.3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
- hmmm, when i got food? haha..
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
- depends on wat kind of strangers~~
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
- not sure.. is there?
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
- Nope... currently listenin some club music~
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
- pajamas~ hehe..
.8. How often do you listen to music?
- like evryday before i get up or go sleep....
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
- i prefer wearing sweats.. jeans are my BIGGEST enemy~
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012?
- YEap... and its happening already.. =)

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
- i think am a SOCIAL type.
.12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘B’?
- Nope~
13. What about ‘S’?
- Nope~
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
- wats tat?
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
- hmm, as long as i think im right... =)
16. Are you going out of town soon?
- holidays comeing around!
17. When was the last time you cried?
- cant rmbr... few days ago?
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
- always! to my piggy, to my friends... yeap~~ haha..
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
- nope, i love it like it is.. =)
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
- YES.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
- examination... =(
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
- i think its cute and pretty sweet.. =)
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
- ei, nope... so not dating my bro ok..
.24. What are you sitting on right now?
- green chair.... =D
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
- yes.
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
- yes, but now im glad tat i didnt get it.. =)
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
- my piggy~
28. Do you get a lot of colds?
- rarely...
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
- from home... haha...
30. Does anyone hate you?
- mayb yes, mayb not.. not reli my business anywayz... =)


31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
- nope.
32. Do you like watching scary movies?
- kinda esp when watchin wit a group of buddies!
33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
- nope...
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
- dont know... evryone of em has good memories in it.. =)
35. Did you have a dream last night?
- nope.
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
- couple of minutes ago.. hehe... 
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
- hmm, marriage is still a long way to go.. hehe...
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
- everybody do right? hehe...
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- i dont think so... am not so important to pop out in anybody's mind now...
40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
- kinda.. =)

41. Think back 2 months ago, were you in a relationship?
- am currently in a relationship.
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
- hmm, depends...
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
- cant rmbr.. did you?
44. What’s the best part about school?
- evrything!
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
- yeap.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
- cant remember..
.47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
- yeah. and at times it hurts.. 
48. Were you single over the last summer?
- when's summer?
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
- nope.. two yrs ago, am a naive.. now, up to u to judge me.. hehe..
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
- printing notes and studying?

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
- of course not...
52. Are you nice to everyone?
- i try to be though..
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
- hehe.. of course, my piggy.. hehe..
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
- its over 6 months d and yeah, i can.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- somehow, but it juz get seen thru easily...
56. Do you think you like someone?
- i love somebody now though
.57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘T’?
- nope..
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
- both.. =)
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
- i dont think so... =)
60. Do you hate anyone?
- nope.


61. How’s your heart?
- pretty ok...
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
- yes.
63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
- yes.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
- i dont reli care.
65. Are your toenails painted pink?
I- nope.
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
- of course not..
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
- hmm, i dont wanna see my boyfriend cry though..
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
- like nope.
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
- my dad juz a few minutes ago.
70. How do you look right now?
- home look. haha..


71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
- yes!
72. Can you commit to one person?
- yes!
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
- of course yes!
74. Have you ever felt replaced?
- i dont think so..
75. Did you wake up cranky?
- depends on da day.
76. Are you a jealous person?
- tats something tat i cant change...
77. Are relationships ever worth it?
- yeap with da right guy..
78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
- in da past, yeap.. now, nope...
79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
- my family and my piggy...
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
- study lo...


81. Last person you cried in front of?
- i cried alone.
82. Is there someone you will never forget?
- yes.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
- i guess so
.84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
- tickling him and make him laugh and smile...
85. Are you over your past?
- yes!
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
- yeah.. last time...
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
- yeap!
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?- i guess so.. i forgive easily...
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
- for sure!
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
- nope...


91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
- am in a relationship d.. =)
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
- yes!!
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
-No.
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
- nope... spent it wit my family... =)
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
- hehe.. yeah... =
)96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
HE MAKES 
97. Who do you have texts from?
TEXTS USUALLY FROM MY SAYANG, PARENTS, MY BROTHERS, AND A FEW FRIENDS. 
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
DON'T WANT TO IMAGINE THAT. BYE.
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
I'M NOT INTO ANY 'YOUNGER'.
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
FACEBOOK? MR RIGHT.


101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
KISSING WHAT? THE FIREWORKS? :P


random
Jenny~

fear.

finally, exams here...
and guess wat, wit all da panics of revising and of course wit da built-up stress due to all kind of factors, i dont reli can accept anymore external distractions..
external distractions here means fear..
thr had been cases whr stalker was seen in our hostel and freakingly, he's like tryin to open doors of certain rooms and this reli freak me out.. and bcoz of tat, visitin toilet in da middle of da nite is a super NO-NO unless u wanna get unlucky.. sigh... its always like this.. whenever thrs exam and when all of us are ready for home, somethin juz appear out of nowhere... sheesh...

Jenny~

sigh..

sometimes i wish i could shut myself in a room,

in a room whr i cnot see anyone else but myself and books,
at least,
i wont hav to doubt my own potentials,
i wont hav to worry my level of understanding,
i wont hav to bear ppl's perception on me,
i wont hav to see ppl studyin more than me and got scared,
i wont hav to worry whether what i read is enough to answer all da questions,
i wont hav to worry whether my answers are academic or not,
i wont hav to force myself to read more than i can intake,
i wont hav to be so much immersed in my worries on my marks,
i wont hav to compare myself wit others,
i wont hav to be so worried and anxious bout exams,

exams make me sick, emotional, random, moody, irritated and worst of all stress and anxious...

=hate myself=
Jenny~