5.0.2

today, a friend of mine asked me one question that got myself thinking,
she asked me,
why do i emphasise so much on relationship?
and when she asked me that,
it seems like i have placed so much emphasis in being in a relationship..
in which i somehow agree as well as disagree.

i remember when i was still little,
my brother and i had a love and hate relationship,
where we were not really close and somehow, he would always leave me playing on my own,
my dad is busy with his works,
my mom somehow busy too with her works.
and though i had a sister eventually,
she didnt really fulfill the needs of being accompanied as she was still small..

back in school,
i was the smart girl in which i have more competitors,
and less friends.
i guess i dont really have friends in primary school.
in secondary?
i had a few but at the end of the day,
i was still alone.

right now,
in this college,
i too have a few friends,
but still, at the end of the day, i am still on my own.
and because of the constant exposure to being all alone,
i find the necessity of finding someone who would be there for me,
all the time.
and in order to find that somehow, i emphasise on relationship.
being in a relationship with the right guy whose always there for me despite whatever is happening is the only wish i have.
because, loneliness, though it is something i love, it is never a something that i prefer.

Jenny~