Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was a week ago,
and here I am, writing a belated post about it.

Valentine's Day is a a day that was specially dedicated for couples, married or in a relationship,
to celebrate the presence of another significant person in their lives.
A day where the females will be lavished with big bouquets of roses,
boxes after boxes of chocolates,
expensive branded gifts,
and a lot of sweet words as well as promises from their significant halves.

That's how I look at Valentine's Day for the past few years.
Valentine's Day should be done like this, like that,
and it should be a day where the singles like me should stay at home,
binge watching dramas,
and cry myself to sleep because I just don't have another half to lavish me with all those stuffs,
while scrolling on IG and Facebook, envying why they are so lucky and I'm not.

That was in the past.
This year, I don't take heed of Valentine's Day.
Nor do I wished anyone a Happy Valentine's Day.
And the main reason was,
we don't need a specific day to celebrate the bonds that we have created with people around us.
We don't a specific day to show our loves to other people,
nor do we need to use materials to prove our loves.
All we need is their companionship,
and time.

And I am lucky that I was surrounded by people that I love and love me during that day,
which were my family, and friends who constantly made sure that I am being heard.
Therefore, go and celebrate Valentine's Day,
but don't be sad if you don't have another half to celebrate with.
Always remember that there is always that someone whose like you,
waiting to meet the special you,
and walk along the path together.
Happy belated Valentine's Day to all of you, dear readers.

lots of love,
Jenny~

No regrets

As she sat at her favourite spot at the cafe,
she stared at the dark clouds hovering around,
bringing little glimpses of lights there and then,
and she took out her journal.

She started to write about all the things that have happened to her so far,
she remembered how a man who suddenly approached her table one afternoon,
and talked to her about a lot of things,
and she thought she found a new friend when things went awry.
She remembered how the man profess his feelings to her after a day of meeting her,
and how he brought her around to town,
and kept touching her without her permission.

She thought she would get used to this,
she thought that this what she had wished for,
and she also thought this would go far,
but it didn't.
She didn't feel happy,
she was uncomfortable,
she felt burdened and sad the whole time without knowing the real reason.
She thought it was because of her unwillingness to let go her baggage,
but it wasn't.

Her body was telling her that this was not it.
Eventually, she ended the tie as fast as how it started,
and she has no regrets.
As she stared back at the people around the cafe,
she realised that she needed her own life.
She had been thinking about others for the past few years,
and forgot to take care about her own heart.
She had been depending on others to bring her happiness,
and forgot that only she can make herself happy at the end of the day.

She wants to be with herself at this moment,
and she can't stand the idea of being with a man who though loves her a lot,
she doesn't love him,
and always wanting for more.
She was afraid to let go,
but she knows if she stayed on, she will be the one who will suffer.

And as she placed her cup of latte down,
she closed her journal,
stood up,
took her coat and went out of the little cafe.
She stared at the little rays of lights among the dark clouds,
and told her little heart to be patient,
and she will, one day, find someone whom will make her stay.
While waiting, she continued her journey to pursue her own happiness.

Jenny~

Decision made

For the past 10 days,
I have gotten myself into a tangled mess,
and all I could blame was myself.

Meeting a guy who hasn't know anything about me,
and getting confession in less than 2 days,
and being treated like a girlfriend with holding hands, unwanted hugs,
and being laden with loads of sweet words and all,
has been an unintentional burden.

I lied to myself,
I thought I could give this a chance,
I thought I could develop my feelings,
and I thought I could start a relationship,
but it didn't.

Therefore, decision was made.
I bid goodbye,
and wishing for a friendship,
and continue to move on this journey on my own,
to pursue the unknown,
to seek for the real happiness out there,
while enjoying this journey.

Will I regret this?
I won't, because I know I wouldn't happy if I have forced myself.
I'm sorry,
if we are meant to be,
we will be together one day.

Jenny~