stranger perhaps?

ok, i have started my long holidays by merely being at home.
like seriously.
friends have been venturing out to work,
and i dont really feel like hanging out,
just wanna get some relaxation and healing as well at home.
and due to the long hours at home, i started to look back on my facebook.
on the pictures, wall posts, my status previously,
and also on my notes in which i have written quite some interesting things.
and one of it was about something that i have retrieved during my blog-walking session two years ago.
reading it back makes me wonder,
why do strangers who enters my life always end up being a stranger back?
anywayz, the post is as below (forgive me if i have blogged about this, but my memory sucks big time these days.. teehee)

Have you ever met someone who can light up your whole day? Someone who suddenly appears out of nowhere but made you smile every time you see each other? Maybe you met that person in your town, at work, at the store or through a friend. But you find out that they’re not from here. They live far away, and in a few days they are going back home. The last day before leaving, you decide to meet up for a little while. But you missed one other, so you have to go back home with an empty heart and a question constantly ringing in your head. Will you ever meet again? You have not a name, a phone number or Facebook. What are the odds that you will ever meet again? Very very minimal..

reading back this post reminds me of the past,
reminds me of the people whom i have met that brought smiles to me,
reminds me of the little hopes that i built every Sunday,
not because i can't accept the fact,
but sometimes, able to be put some hopes on things that not even me know whether it would or would not happen,
somehow feels nice.
to keep on believing and hoping,
that one day,
that particular rainbow would appear in my clouds,
might be called silly by some of you,
but for me,
no one can understand if they were not in my shoes.

Jenny~

the end.

the end of semester 7..
the end of a hectic semester filled with lotsa sleepless nights..
with the end of the last paper yesterday which was a killer for me,
i took the decision to look ahead,
and regardless of the results that i will obtain,
i have next semester to make it up,
i hope.

anywayz, am gonna be going back home and start my one month-full holidays,
and the only things that i have planned during this holidays?
is to rest fully,
eat good food,
get good workout,
maintain my weight,
and the most important thing,
being myself.

thus, wishing everyone happy holidays,
safe journey to respective homes,
and have fun especially with our beloved families..
will be updating this blog from time to time, no worries..
teehee..

Jenny~

new chapter.

these days, i got hooked up with the first Chinese Malaysian movie entitled, "The Journey"..
and somehow, i really love this movie because it is something that i felt would happen to me one day..
but anywayz, i find that the themes in this movie varies,
from love to culture and to remembering old friends..
and from this movie,
it made me think,
what would happen if i was the female character?
what would happen when i am already old?
will i still be able to gather up all my college as well as my high school friends and reminisce about our past times jokes?
will we still be as close as we used to?

and in this movie,
i got addicted to the song entitled "New Chapter" which was sung by Malaysia artist as well, Geraldine Gan.
and there were two versions,
the Chinese and the English..
my personal bias would be the Chinese one, of course,
but the lyric is English is interesting..
and the part i love the most is short and yet meaningful,
and in which i find it suitable to end my post for today.. =)

"Just as you thought all good things come to an end,
That's when the new chapter just began."

Jenny~

update.

ok, its been like a long time for me not updating my blog..
and sadly to say, its because of my super hectic schedule,
and yeah, now i finally had some little time to actually update this blog.
so, let's look what i have been through...

firstly, I had MQA..
super crazy people who would come surprisingly to check our files with the main purpose of seeing our learning progress,
for me, 
they are a bunch of people who doesnt have things to do,
and those who do not know the meaning of technology and conserve the world.
anywayz, i know there are the pros and cons of their job,
and i dont blame them for the job they took..

however, 5 days of completing MQA was a super hectic moments,
but one of the best moments shared with my classmates,
its those difficult times that i felt really bonded with my classmates,
and i know that deep inside our hearts, we will miss the moment but not the filing system since all of us nearly vomit papers during the printing sessions..
and now, exam week is on and i have just completed my first paper,
which is a result of 3 days revision only.
and dont ask me how was it,
i myself dont even know what i have done.

but no matter what,
as long as i have done my best, i guess that's the best.
and finally, im gonna be at home this weekend, if there is nothing on...
and this is the part i really want the most right now,
time spent with family!
and i guess that's it..
my other parts of life seems just fine like how it usually is,
and somehow,
i kinda accept my current situations and yeah,
im happy to say that i am now really happy.

Jenny~

me.

these days,

i have been laughing,

being in a good mood,

and really felt like the old me again..

no longer wasting time on thinking endlessly about the past in which i usually did last time.

after deleting and discarding all the old stuffs,

i asked myself,

what's next?

and i find myself unable to answer it.

i dont know what's the next move.

neither do i have any options to choose from.

and all i can do,

is to just go on and carry out my life.

last time, i cried easily.

whenever i hear songs or watch videos or movies that remind me of the past, 

tears flowed.

but now,

i cant cry like last time.

i found no reason to do so anymore,

is that a good sign?

does this tell me that i have moved on?

does this tell me that i have completely healed?

im still seeking for the answers.

nevertheless,

my life is now better in its own way.

Jenny~

5.0.2

today, a friend of mine asked me one question that got myself thinking,
she asked me,
why do i emphasise so much on relationship?
and when she asked me that,
it seems like i have placed so much emphasis in being in a relationship..
in which i somehow agree as well as disagree.

i remember when i was still little,
my brother and i had a love and hate relationship,
where we were not really close and somehow, he would always leave me playing on my own,
my dad is busy with his works,
my mom somehow busy too with her works.
and though i had a sister eventually,
she didnt really fulfill the needs of being accompanied as she was still small..

back in school,
i was the smart girl in which i have more competitors,
and less friends.
i guess i dont really have friends in primary school.
in secondary?
i had a few but at the end of the day,
i was still alone.

right now,
in this college,
i too have a few friends,
but still, at the end of the day, i am still on my own.
and because of the constant exposure to being all alone,
i find the necessity of finding someone who would be there for me,
all the time.
and in order to find that somehow, i emphasise on relationship.
being in a relationship with the right guy whose always there for me despite whatever is happening is the only wish i have.
because, loneliness, though it is something i love, it is never a something that i prefer.

Jenny~