Finally, holidays.
Have been spending the first week of my holidays at home,
and unlike any others,
I spent it laying sick on my bed.
Reached home and combo sickness came.
And thank God, 70% healed after a week of resting filled with explosive moods here and there.
To those whose travelling, be safe.
I would really love to travel but I prefer to travel with my parents' blessings,
instead of having to go through mountains of arguments just to travel.
To those whose doing some part time jobs, get some time for yourself.
I would really love to do part time jobs but seriously, I need a break to prepare myself for a more challenging year ahead.
And to those whose getting engaged and married by the end of the year, may God bless all of you with love and happiness!
I would really love to shock ppl with announcing good news to everyone, but I dont have one to do so.
Heck, I dont even have a guy to shock people with!
But, things will turn better.
Who knows what is kept in 2016 right?
So, I shall wait in patience and meanwhile, enjoy being single.
Hence, happy holidays to everyone.
No matter what you are doing or where you are going, be safe and make it an everlasting memory!
Jenny~
Earning your own money always comes with pros and cons,
the pros are, well, you earn money,
so it means, you are free to use ur money for whatever wants and needs you have in your mind,
you dont have to hear endless grumblings,
and basically you can get whatever you want with you hard-earned money.
The cons are, with all that money, I tend to splurge on food.
And of course, that causes me to gain weight.
Of course not tremendously, but i can see the numbers keep increasing,
and now, it is already beginning with 6.
I mean, I know I gained weight and I know I am fat already,
But i don't need people around me to keep reminding me how fat I am or how big my ass is or whatosever,
and when this statements come especially from people whose so close to me including my family members,
it hurts.
I know I am fat,
but that doesnt give u the privilege to keep reminding me about it.
I dislike it when people scroll on my pictures and start saying that I am fat or gained weight,
I dont need negative statements to make my whole day down,
and i definitely do not need you to judge me.
It is depressing when people expect me to be in this form and that form,
When people say I am fat, I tried cutting it down,
and then people say when I am thin, I dont look too nice,
And so, I gained. and then you say I am fat.
What the heck you think I am?
A balloon for you to form shapes?
No wonder there are so many anorexics people out there,
they are like me, being insecure with how we look in front of the society,
worrying that we are ugly and fat in people's including our loved ones,
and because of that, people start to binge eating or directly stop eating.
Do you really want to see me stop eating and get that "perfect" weight or body shape that you want me to have and then start criticising me again after I get that?
I am trying my best to look the best,
but if being the best kills me, i rather not be the best.
Therefore, this serves a reminder to all those out there whose job is to judge people including me,
If how my body shape affects on how you think of me or look at me,
then please move on.
This is my body and like it or not, I am the one who could control how my body looks.
I dont need your distasteful comment in my life.
Jenny~
the pros are, well, you earn money,
so it means, you are free to use ur money for whatever wants and needs you have in your mind,
you dont have to hear endless grumblings,
and basically you can get whatever you want with you hard-earned money.
The cons are, with all that money, I tend to splurge on food.
And of course, that causes me to gain weight.
Of course not tremendously, but i can see the numbers keep increasing,
and now, it is already beginning with 6.
I mean, I know I gained weight and I know I am fat already,
But i don't need people around me to keep reminding me how fat I am or how big my ass is or whatosever,
and when this statements come especially from people whose so close to me including my family members,
it hurts.
I know I am fat,
but that doesnt give u the privilege to keep reminding me about it.
I dislike it when people scroll on my pictures and start saying that I am fat or gained weight,
I dont need negative statements to make my whole day down,
and i definitely do not need you to judge me.
It is depressing when people expect me to be in this form and that form,
When people say I am fat, I tried cutting it down,
and then people say when I am thin, I dont look too nice,
And so, I gained. and then you say I am fat.
What the heck you think I am?
A balloon for you to form shapes?
No wonder there are so many anorexics people out there,
they are like me, being insecure with how we look in front of the society,
worrying that we are ugly and fat in people's including our loved ones,
and because of that, people start to binge eating or directly stop eating.
Do you really want to see me stop eating and get that "perfect" weight or body shape that you want me to have and then start criticising me again after I get that?
I am trying my best to look the best,
but if being the best kills me, i rather not be the best.
Therefore, this serves a reminder to all those out there whose job is to judge people including me,
If how my body shape affects on how you think of me or look at me,
then please move on.
This is my body and like it or not, I am the one who could control how my body looks.
I dont need your distasteful comment in my life.
Jenny~
11.11
A beautiful date.
And a beautiful celebration.
I just knew a year ago that 11.11 is actually a day for the singles out there and just celebrate their status as singles.
And it also allows them to go out and meet more new people.
But since its a rainy day tonite, I don't get to celebrate much about my status.
Being single for quite some times has changed me a bit here and there.
I guessed this is something that can't be helped though.
Riding a train all alone for several years does make a person change.
From longing for something into turning backs from it.
From being desperate for someone into avoiding from it.
From wishing and wanting into pushing and giving up.
I guessed I need more love songs in my playlist,
or more love dramas in my hard disks,
or maybe shows that can make me have this fluttery feelings again,
But for the meantime, sitting alone beside the window in a fast moving train,
doesn't feel so lonely anymore.
I guessed I am now used to it.
Jenny~
A beautiful date.
And a beautiful celebration.
I just knew a year ago that 11.11 is actually a day for the singles out there and just celebrate their status as singles.
And it also allows them to go out and meet more new people.
But since its a rainy day tonite, I don't get to celebrate much about my status.
Being single for quite some times has changed me a bit here and there.
I guessed this is something that can't be helped though.
Riding a train all alone for several years does make a person change.
From longing for something into turning backs from it.
From being desperate for someone into avoiding from it.
From wishing and wanting into pushing and giving up.
I guessed I need more love songs in my playlist,
or more love dramas in my hard disks,
or maybe shows that can make me have this fluttery feelings again,
But for the meantime, sitting alone beside the window in a fast moving train,
doesn't feel so lonely anymore.
I guessed I am now used to it.
Jenny~
You have done this, therefore, this is for you.
Yesterday was a special day,
a day where a pig turned 25!
Hahahahahaha..
Here goes the belated dedication from me to you.
Happy belated birthday, pig friend!
You are indeed a really good friend of mine though you are seriously difficult to be handled with,
and sometimes kept me wondering, how your partner would ever be able to stand you after marriage?
But he will get used to it, like me! hahaha...
Though we didn't get to celebrate it together this year,
but am pretty sure you would have celebrated it with happiness this year with your loved one.
And if you are happy, so am I!
I am thankful that all my prayers were answered,
and that you indeed found someone whom I believed is the right one.
And yes, though I do envy you, but I am happier that finally, someone else can take over my job! (P.S. bayar gaji!)
But no matter what, I am always here physically, emotionally and not financially..
Thank you being such a patient friend with me though you aren't really patient especially when it is my mood swings moment,
and thanks for also being there for me especially when I start to blabber about my single life and stuffs..
I wish you more love from everyone around you,
more happiness in whatever you are doing,
more success in your career,
and more blessings in your life!
Happy belated birthday, bestie aka ah ma kong (this will be used until we get old together! hahahahahah)
Pictures!
Yesterday was a special day,
a day where a pig turned 25!
Hahahahahaha..
Here goes the belated dedication from me to you.
Happy belated birthday, pig friend!
You are indeed a really good friend of mine though you are seriously difficult to be handled with,
and sometimes kept me wondering, how your partner would ever be able to stand you after marriage?
But he will get used to it, like me! hahaha...
Though we didn't get to celebrate it together this year,
but am pretty sure you would have celebrated it with happiness this year with your loved one.
And if you are happy, so am I!
I am thankful that all my prayers were answered,
and that you indeed found someone whom I believed is the right one.
And yes, though I do envy you, but I am happier that finally, someone else can take over my job! (P.S. bayar gaji!)
But no matter what, I am always here physically, emotionally and not financially..
Thank you being such a patient friend with me though you aren't really patient especially when it is my mood swings moment,
and thanks for also being there for me especially when I start to blabber about my single life and stuffs..
I wish you more love from everyone around you,
more happiness in whatever you are doing,
more success in your career,
and more blessings in your life!
Happy belated birthday, bestie aka ah ma kong (this will be used until we get old together! hahahahahah)
Pictures!
2010! P.S. We have started to selfie even without front cameras and smartphone!
2011! We had our matching pink outfits and I miss this body shape! hahahahaha... P.S. I will never forget your acting that night!
The failed surprise! P.S. Do you still remember where was the cake? Hahahahaha....
2013! The time where we celebrated your birthday covered with smoke and sweat! Hahahaha...
2014! The time we had our sexy sides revealed! P.S. Remember how you screamed after getting flowers?
2015!! The time we climbed to the top and took several minutes trying to get the perfect selfie with both looking not fat and pretty! Remember whose feet got stepped? hahahahahaha....
2015! The most memorable moment filled with crazy, random and tired memories!
Let's continue this friendship and get ourselves a champagne when we reached the 10th year! =D
Jenny~
Sometimes, I wish I am not in this manner.
Sometimes, I wish I would chase after less perfection,
Go for low-profile,
Go for unpopularity.
I wish I could be someone who wouldn't be intimidated by others,
and would stop striving for the best in everything.
I wish I am talented too,
so I am able to do everything that I wanted.
But I am not.
Seeing how the Year 6 pupils were being trained to give such an awesome performance makes me felt, intimidated. stressed. pressured. envy.
I wanted to do the same thing as well.
I wanted my next yer Year 6 to do performances that leave people in awe.
But seeing this year's performances, I felt intimidated.
I am worried,
what if I can't do something like this year?
What if everything will turn disappointing?
People say, dont think too much.
People say, leave it to the future to decide.
People say, just do your best and everything will be ok.
People say, dont be a perfectionist because nothing is perfect.
Yes, I know.
But thinking too much is what drives me to create things that I want to showcase to people.
Yes, I know.
But if I leave it to the future, what am I gonna do in the present?
Yes, I know.
But doing the best would never be okay.
And yes, I know.
But I can't help to be a perfectionist because if I don't, who will be?
Jenny~
Sometimes, I wish I would chase after less perfection,
Go for low-profile,
Go for unpopularity.
I wish I could be someone who wouldn't be intimidated by others,
and would stop striving for the best in everything.
I wish I am talented too,
so I am able to do everything that I wanted.
But I am not.
Seeing how the Year 6 pupils were being trained to give such an awesome performance makes me felt, intimidated. stressed. pressured. envy.
I wanted to do the same thing as well.
I wanted my next yer Year 6 to do performances that leave people in awe.
But seeing this year's performances, I felt intimidated.
I am worried,
what if I can't do something like this year?
What if everything will turn disappointing?
People say, dont think too much.
People say, leave it to the future to decide.
People say, just do your best and everything will be ok.
People say, dont be a perfectionist because nothing is perfect.
Yes, I know.
But thinking too much is what drives me to create things that I want to showcase to people.
Yes, I know.
But if I leave it to the future, what am I gonna do in the present?
Yes, I know.
But doing the best would never be okay.
And yes, I know.
But I can't help to be a perfectionist because if I don't, who will be?
Jenny~
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