Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Update part 2

Have u ever felt like u dont belong to a community?
It's like u hav this wall that is in between of u and them...
It makes u fear to mingle n eventually, lost ur confidence to handle these situations...
I thought those days wouldn't come to me...
I thought I won't feel such ways..
But da trip to T'ganu actually enable me to really look into me...
N indeed I cnot mix wit my own community members...
I cant talk comfortably wit them, I cant bring myself to approach them n worse, I start to be in my own world when im with them...
Reason?
My mandarin that is below da passing rate, my low confidence in da language, my high affective filter n not forgetting, da fear of being ignored...
I tried n it din work out...
So my choices? To let it be or to fix it?
My answer?
Im incapable to choose at this.moment. Sigh..

Jenny~

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