The KEY~

ok, i know im gonna take my final exam on mon and tat i shud not be wasting my time updating blog and bla bla... so wat? its my blog so i'll do wat i tink i like it to do... anywayz, da topic im gonna share about is "the key"... sounds interesting, i think... if not, whatsoever...

okey, thrs key to ur house, room, office and bla bla bla... tats not wat i wanna write here... the key tat i am gonna talk about is the key to ur heart (specifically my heart)... ok, most of us had found the right person to pass the key to their heart and eventually allowin the person to win their heart and start a new love relationship... some of us might juz wanna keep the key to their heart and wait for da right person to come and get it...

which one is u? the one who juz simply give it to someone who talk sweet stuffs and eventually gainin ur trust? or the one who keep it till u think the person deserves to get it? oh we, self-evaluation!

how bout me? u might ask... for me, the key to my heart is somehow lost... i think i misplaced it... haha.. no lah, right now, thrs seems to be no guys who could actually make me think he deserves the key.. therefore, i shut it up and sealed it wit a lock in order for me not to get hurt... i wasted too much tears on the guys tat i love but doesnt receive da same return... mayb da key would not be found at all or mayb it will be discovered by someone.. i dont know.. im juz here waitin..

P.S: dont say u will search the key when u dont even know whrs da key... ur juz givin somone a hope and then crush it.. dont u think tats a bad thing to do?

Jenny~

finally!

Yeap, its finally 3 mre days to exams... it seems tat tis time, i felt much more relaxed than b4.. im not smart or stuffs like tat ok.. i study and study but then it seems like thrs nth inside my memory card and stuffs like tat but when being asked, yeah, i can answer... ok, blur mode...

anywayz, am counting days to go home... a place where i can actually relax myself and do stuffs tat i like.. haha... and somehow these days, im captivated by someone's smile.. its wrong of thinkin him bcoz of several reasons but yeah, i think his smile is super sweet... haha.. so yeah, took da decision and texted him first tis mornin... but, i insist, thrs nth btw me n him.. juz frens...

and now i anticipate all the things that will come to me.. hopefully, i'll get to meet my Mr. Right soon... coz i cant wait to see wat kind of guy tat actually get to find tat lost "key"... haha.. =)

Jenny~

Kara-honey~

this song is entitled "honey" performed by Kara, a korean girl group... i super love this song because of its lyrics... somehow it reflects to mysef and it make me thought of someone who i always look for when im in church and yeah, "u have to turn around, honey"... haha... enjoy~

JEnny~

blur~

am in a blur mode rite now.. exams comin in 6 days... issues bout us movin away from here is like in da air and not clear... rumours and stuffs like tat comin up... not time to study due to all the activities that are rising up.. evry mornin gotta enter class and in class, it damn not conducive for me to study... all da pressure and stress is makin me feelin like im gonna experience severe breakdown like reli soon...

im not feeling good today, my mood is on and off, feelings are up and down, my head seems like empty and i dont even noe wat im learnin all this while.. im juz blur... blur wit evrythin.. blur bout exams, blur bout my feelings of thinking of movin away... everyone i damn excited about movin but i don reli wanna move.. too many memories here and people here tat make me feel unable to move away... home is far and now i need someone beside me... it feels like spm whr i need constant attention from my parents...

i hate this feeling.. and i hate evrythin tats happenin.. i hate all the stress and pressure given by our lecturers... i hate the feeling where everyone is putting high hopes on us.. ans i hate the thoughts of moving.... i juz wan evrythin to be normal.. like its used to be... like it owes used to be...

Jenny~

^^

~Dedicated to my beloved friends who have been at my side all this while,
who went thru sadness, happiness and sorrow wit me,
who cried and laughed wit me,
who actually spends and waste their time wit me,
and who loves me like who i am right now...

~To my friends and my BFFs, u guys are da best,
i might do wrong and hurt u, but u noe deep inside, ur da ones who are important,
though im not a prefect person, but u have been supporting me,
when im sad, u make me laugh like a crazy girl,
thank u~

And yes, im so glad to have a friend like you!!

Jenny~

Happy!

ok, first and foremost, this is nothing to be proud of or wanna show off about.. juz tat, i wanna share this lil new wit everyone... i actually got da first place in word puzzle during the English Week... the thing that make me go all happy is not bcoz of da hamper or stuffs like tat but then bcoz this is like my very first competition during my foundation year and got a result out from it... and it was unexpected... so getting a hamper actually make me feel more enthusiastic and hence, i felt like its time for me to get active and show everyone what i am made of... haaha..

anywayz, i was reli entertained by the performances especially by da juniors themselves... i mean they deserve all da praises so yeah, congratz again~~ haha... plus, da KPLI TESL was excellent.. they acctually portray da English nite like wat i had been expecting... and right now, i wanna make sure that if there are anymore events for us, we will be doing stuffs like tat tooo..... ngee~~

JEnny`

NotiCE~

yeap, its official... 2 more weeks to go for exams... and im not prepared.. ok, 1%... haha.. anywayz, mayb am not gonna update blog for these 2 weeks so yeah, u noe da reason.. hihi.. will be updatin my blog whenever im free k.. dont miss me ya,,, =)

Jenny~

Reality~

i think it is time for me to move on in life and stop holdin myself back in my imaginary world... he would nvr been mine and he will always remain a good view for me.. we are complete strangers and dont know one another.. though his smile and eyes will always captivate my heart, i must wake myself up and release myself from this fantasy... coz reality is not owes sweet... and in the reality, i am not destined for such a guy...

i think too much, imagine too much and put too much hope... im not hurt bcoz i noe im livin in an imaginary world all this while... i could have released myself but i didnt.. bcoz i hav a hope in it.. and now, i have realised that i can nvr live in an imaginary world too long... some day i hav to wake up and face the loss... he might juz not be da one for me.. he is too perfect.. and he deserves someone better...

i never loved him.. and mayb tats da reason i nvr let anyone find da key to my heart.. bcoz i cant love a person like i used to.. mayb time is da best healing agent... mayb not seeing often would make me forget him.. i will forget tat imaginary world.. but i wont forget those sweet moments...

JEnny~

cinta vs suka~

Got this from a fren of mine's blog.. kinda interestin though so yeah, i decided to share it wit u guys too... at least all of us noe wats da difference between love and like rite... anywayz, enjoy... P.S: love to God is a priority!

Apabila diajukan pertanyaan apakah perasaan yang terbit dalam hati mereka terhadap pasangan masing-masing sama ada cinta atau suka, pasti ada ramai antara mereka yang akan terdiam dan serba salah. tidak tahu yang mana satu jawapan paling tepat. ada rasa cinta dan dalam masa yang sama ada juga rasa suka. namun, harus diingat cinta dan suka adalah dua benda yang berbeza. diakui ramai yang keliru dengan dua istilah ini kerana agak sukar untuk mengenal pasti keduanya, berikut disenaraikan perbezaan antara cinta dan suka.

1. ♥ di hadapan orang yang kita cinta, hati kita akan berdegup kencang..
♣ tapi, di hadapan orang yang kita suka, hati kita akan gembira..

2. ♥Jikalau kita lihat di dalam mata orang yang kita cinta, kita akan kaku..
♣Tapi, jikalau kita lihat ke dalam mata orang yang kita suka, kita akan tersenyum..

3. ♥Di depan orang yang kita cinta, lidah kelu untuk berkata..
♣Tapi, di hadapan orang yang kita suka, lidah bebas berkata apa saja..

4. ♥Di depan orang yng kita cinta, kita menjadi malu..
♣Di depan orang yang kita suka, kita akan tunjukkan diri kita yang sebenar..

5. ♥Kita tidak boleh merenung mata orang yang kita cintai..
♣Tapi, kita selalu merenung mata orang yang kita suka..

6. ♥Bila orang yang kita cinta menangis, kita akan turut menangis..
♣Bila orang yang kita suka menangis, kita akan turut membuat dia gembira..

7. ♥Di depan orang yang kita cinta, musim sentiasa berbunga-bunga..
♣Di depan orang yang kita suka, musim itu cuma berangin sahaja..

8. ♥Di depan orang yang kita cinta kita takut untuk berterus terang kerana terlalu bimbang si dia akan terguris…
♣Di depan orang yang kita suka kita terlalu mudah untuk berterus terang kerana kita yakin terus terang itu paling baik untuk menjaga keharmonian perhubungan kamu dengan si dia..

9. ♥Perasaan cinta bermula dari mata..
♣Perasaan suka bermula dari telinga…

Jangan meninggalkan orang yang kita cinta semata-mata untuk orang yang kita suka kerana orang yang kita suka tersebut belum tentu sama dengan orang yang kita cinta dan belum tentu lagi orang yang kita suka tersebut dapat mencintai kita seperti mana oaring yang kita cinta mencintai kita..

Jikalau kita berhenti menyukai seseorang yang kita suka, ia umpama kita membuang telinga kita. Tapi, jika kita cuba menutup mata, cinta akan berubah menjadi air mata..

Get over it!

somehow, im sick wit ppl tellin that, "yeah, i forget bout him/her d.... yeah, he/she's a bad person.." and bla bla bla... i mean, stop sayin those nonsense if u cant forget... wats da point tryin to tell da whole world ur hurt if u cant forget tat person.. keep sayin ur gonna forget tat person doesnt mean u can forget him.. ur juz REMINDING urself bout him... lil sweet talks would make u go melt... come one lah.. do wat u say bah.. if u cant forget him then dont.. keep him in ur memory wit all those bad things he did to u.. and then suffer,,.. and then dont come to me tellin me all those bullshits lah...

im not angry juz pissed off.. wats da point of sayin u'll forget him when u keep sayin bout his smile and when u encounter him.. he dont even giv a damn about u ok.... next u keep lookin at his wall in facebook or stuffs like tat... and then get jealous bcoz he's commenting wit other girls... come on lah, is he EVEN URS?? juz get it over wit lah.... wats da point liking someone who dont giv a damn about u.. wats da point of hurtin urself and cry and keep whining bout da way he treat when he DONT GIV A DAMN BOUT U? bullshit lah bah~~

P.S: GET OVER IT.... ur not makin urself sad or look pathetic, but ur botherin other ppl wit those talks.. am so f***ing sick bout it ok... GO GET A LiFE LAH!!!!

Jenny~

Time is precious~

i realised da meanin of time when i reached here.. time is so precious that at times we have to chase after it... i could still vividly remember the time during sem 1 when time was crucial when we were handling our assignments... last minute preparation for our exhibition, assignments and all those stuffs were reli adventurous as it means we were lacking of da precious elements in life: SLEEP!

then, in sem 2 we had practices on Macbeth whr we had to sacrifice our sleep so that the drama will reach to perfection.. not only that, time was so limited for us to even catch a nap and yeah, we were super exhausted that time.. but when i reflect back on all da things that we went thru, i enjoyed all the memories we had.. and i missed the moments when we actually laugh together, argue together and even cry together.. and then in this sem too, i met back da person that i havent met for a long time since sem 1... and it was like a dream come true coz we eventually met in church.. Thanks be to God...

then in this sem, studying for finals is like the only thing that is in my mind... strivin for excellence is what i intended to do.. but due to me procrastinating and limited time to actually study everything as in from sem 1 to 3, i blame myself... but i believe that everything is possible.. like the motto of my ex-prefectorial board, Mission Possible! and yeap, im holdin on to this... and i cant wait to reach home.. but before home, there is one thing i wanna do.. i wanna make the fullest use of this time to see him.. at least, after im back from hols and he's no longer there, i wont feel regret coz i noe he had been a person that makes me feel appreciated..

Jenny~

My Mr. Right~

these are like a few characteristics of the guy that i wan in my life and i know it sounds like so perfect but yeah, im glad enuf if the guy can fulfill at least a few of these characteristics... haha.. P.S: for those who thinks its lame or stuffs like tat, F**K OFF!

so here goes:
1. older than me at least a few years lah.. but not more than 10 yrs....
2. mature and able to think independently (as in having their own principles)
3. taller than me (MUST!)
4. looks come second lah.. i mean at least he muz have a kind of looks that pleases my eyes.. haha..
5. caring and loving...
6. has those kinds of eyes and smiles that can make me smile..
7. able to entertain me when im bored
8. loves to make me laugh
9. confident with himself and not the type tats over-possesive
10. gives me freedom when i needed one as in i dont have to be 24 hrs stickin to him...
11. loves me as much as i do
12. able to make me laugh when i cry
13. always at my side when i needed him at all times
14. broad shouldered (reason: so tat i can lean on his shoulder whenever i want)
15. someone who wud give me a peck on the forehead
16: someone who would giv me free hugs when i needed one
17. and a guy who can make me feel safe and protected

and the list will go on like forever.. haha.. i know that this maybe like a dream which i can never attain.. but at least, i can still dream on rite.. haha.. but yeah, i juz nid someone who loves me for wat i am and not because of my looks.. i may be ugly but in me, i noe im ok.. i may not be the girl u want in ur life, but i dont k coz i noe im being brought to tis world wit purposes.. last but not least, i may not be the dream girl in ur life but i noe somewhere, im da dream girl of someone else... i give all to God to decide... =)

Jenny~

feelings~

Feelings are somethin which cannot be described and in the end, unexplainable.. for example, we cannot give reasons on why we like or love someone... no matter how many reasons u give, it juz seem like its not enuf... i listened to a lot of stories from my frens no matter those in secondary schools or my current besties and mates... its like everythin is connected to this feeling: love...

i dont noe or recognise love myself... i mean i never been in a relationship till now so yeah, i dont know wats love... mayb u may think that im an expert of love coz i juz noe wat to speak at da rite time but trust me, i gained all those advice from dramas, problems i heard from friends and also based on my limited experience... some of it are basically common sense lah.. anywayz, thrs tis fren of mine who keep sayin she could let go of this guy bcoz of the way he treated her.. i mean the guy was like treatin her as if she's a back-up or pillow thingy... when he nids her, he finds her and when he dont, she's left alone juz like tat... FYI: they're not in a relationship.. basically the girl like him like a lot, i mean it, A LOT!

so yeah, keep sayin u can forget him doesnt work it... i mean the more u say, the more u rmbr that guy and all those "sweet" stuffs he told u and blah blah blah... i mean such guys are pathetic.. and i dont respect guys like tat... i shud not call them guys but JERKS lah bah.. not all the guys i meet are like tat so yeah, not all guys are under the label JERKS... so for me, why dont u juz forget about him... sori lah but then keep thinkin bout him or jealous bout him wit other girls doesnt help... he dont even pay attention to u lah bah... haiz~~

anywayz, hope evrythin goes well for tis person.. i mean come on lah, no one wanna hear u braggin tat u can forget him and eventually ur still talkin bout him.. its pathetic, fussy and boring...

Jenny~

U-kiss!!

sharing another mv from my another fav korean boy band, U-Kiss... gosh they can actually speak english like reli well and they're so adorable... so in this group, my fav is Dongho who like 2 yrs younger than me and yeah, super cute as well as Eli, handsome dude~~ enjoy! =D

Exam TimeTable!

Yeap, its finally out and facing me rite now.... the dates are as following:

1st Nov - Language Description
2nd Nov - Language Development
8th Nov -English Studies
9th Nov - Social Studies

20th Nov- HOME SWEET HOME!!

so yeah, am not prepare for my exams and what more to say with current activities, i dont even hav da time to prepare.. but i know thrs time for evrythin so yeah, am gonna start it soon, real soon.. wont procrastinate, yeah i know... haha.. anywayz, i dont hav confidence in this final lah.. i mean i nid luck coz both LDS and ES are reli hard and gosh, no one knows wats gonna come out.. FYI: LDS are all about grammars and ES are like all about literature.. and its DAMN hard... am gonna try my vry best and hardest to score well in these papers... i know evryone especially my parents are putting their highest hopes on me so yeah, am not gonna fail em... i cant possibly disappoint them tis time.... pray for me, to those whose readin tis, tat i can get good grades in my exams...

Jenny~

B2ST!!

Ok, i shared mv on suju and CN Blue, so yeah, now am gonna share a new mv from B2ST... i love Ki Kwang!!

countdown to EXAM!

ok, my exams will start on november either early nov or a week later.. not sure coz honestly we havent received any timetables yet... its a norm here since EVERYTHING is informed in the last minute.... (P.S. U gotta change tat damn habit b4 moving on in life, k)....

anywayz, im not prepared.... RELI NOT PREPARED.... i mean who can prepare for exam when there's like dozens of assignments still pending.. and well, handed in two which is so heavy and wasting ink (sori, but ink is much more expensive than the time sacrificed to finish all those stuffs!).. then, now i have like two more pending... and i nid to get it done wit b4 moving on in preparin for my exam.. sometimes i got stresses out juz by thinking of it coz imagine notes from all 3 sems..... i barely can even imagine ow much white hairs that's gonna come out again....

then again, there's like so many activities in this mth.. i mean, plz lah... THINK!! how do u expect us to get good grades in our exams when u keep holding tis n tat, taking away all our times to study... MANAGE UR TIME PROPERLY? EXCUSE ME....... how do u wan us to manage our time properly if ur da one havin some nonsense activities at the WRONG TIME, i repeat, WRONG TIME!!!! we have to skip our nap to go and attend some activities tat i myself din even participate and then got back to our room, tired and then, how? u think we can study at that kind of mood???

im not angry wit the college or anythin nor do i have any grudges, but plz lah, do sth that's beneficial for us... i know activities are good in the process og learnin esp us, the future teachers but then plz juz try havin it at da right time.... sheesh...

P.S. To those who doesnt wanna read this post, get ur f***ing ass off my blog.... if u wanna be a follower, then respect wat i gonna say....

Jenny~

CnY~~

ok, it is reli early to talk about CNY but yeah, am gonna talk about it here.... its like tis.. i thought of goin back home for cny nxt yr so yeah, check out my tickets in airasia and mas websites... ok, honestly, airasia is cheaper than mas like a lot... but the problem here is that when should i go back or should i actually go back??

no offence, but after not going back last yr, so i dont reli feel like goin back... but then almost evryone was like asking me to go back lah since its almost 2 yrs not going back for CNY oni... haiz... i mean goin back for festive occassions are like the most important as it means that everyone gathering together and strengthen the bond between one another.... but if conditions are too hard for me to go back, then mayb i'll juz decide not to go back again nxt yr... hope stuffs go well nxt yr so tat am able to go back lah...

P.S. anyone sponsor me tickets to go home?
Jenny~

reflection of da day~

i love updating my blog... mayb its bcoz this is the only media for me to express my thoughts and feelings.. and actually, i dont reli care if anyone wanna read it.. so today's self reflection, love in loneliness...

loneliness is a word that i dread the most as in i dont like being lonely.. i never like the word lonely when i was in secondary schools.. and till now, i still dislike the word lonely... but being single for like da whole part of my life made me think.. why do i hate loneliness when it gives me time to think and reflect on my words and actions?

when i am writing this post, thr's this tree in front of my window and yeah, full of branches and leaves... but among all these greens, there's this pretty thing that struck me deep... a purplish-pink flower is there, all alone... and i wonder if that little thing has feelings, what would it feel?

single doesnt necessarily mean lonely.. if we're able to use it in a good purpose in this life, i dont think loneliness would exist... like me, i do wish i have someone to lean on, to make me laugh, to be thr when i cry, to hug me when i nid a hug and to giv me the love that i have owes dreamt.. but like wat my frens say, someone is juz out thr for me and being sent to keningau may serve me a purpose.. i might juz hav to wait patiently for the right boy to come along...

Jenny~

SpecialLY to GirlZZ~

Girls are like apples on trees... The best ones are at the top of the trees... The boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt... instead they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy... so the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they are just amazing.... they just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree...

Jenny~

CN Blue!~

Enjoy... somehow this group is different from other boy band.. maybe its because they do not dance but actually perform acoustically with their guitaars, bassist and drums... gosh, i love them a lot... its simply sweet and yeah, i kinda like the guitarist and da drummer here... =D

Jenny~

Life n Death~

Juz received news from my lecturer telling us that one of our lecturer's hubby juz passed away tis mornin... was quite shocked about it since we never expected such things would happen... i mean this month had been reli a stressful month not only for us but for our lecturers too... when i heard that she is not ok when she received the news, i was sad for her... reli sad fore her bcoz she had juz lost someone she loved so much and had plans in the future wit him...

"death are like thieves".. that's wat one of my lecturer told me juz now... it comes without any warning and took ur life away unexpectedly... death can happen to anyone no matter ur young or old.. so da most important thing to do is to take good care of our health and learn to appreciate evry single moments we spent on this Earth.. we never knew when God wants to take us back with him.. maybe tats y im afraid, afraid of losing my loved ones when im not ready to let them go... afraid that i wont be able to see them before they go... i hope that God will always pray for my family members and protect them from any harms and dangers... they are the most important part in my life and yes, im not ready to let them go yet...

appreciate ur life before its taken... appreciate ur friends, before u lose them... appreciate the feelings of being loved before u wont have any time to do so... and most important, appreciate the presence of God in our life and repent before our chance fly away...

Jenny~