busy, busy, busy!

ok, busy is da word to define my remaining months before goin back home... and y is tat... da list are as follows:

1. BIG camp where all of us hav to participate.. and its gonna be 4 days and 3 nights of da most grueling and strict camp.. in short, its so gonna be survival camp where i dont reli noe how am i gonna endure it...

2. MUET where learning, speaking, listenin and writing is put to test right after da camp... imagine speakin in english wit da person-in-charge after goin thru so many tests, activities and fatigue... im so afraid im gonna get low grades...

3. UAK aka UJIAn akhir kursus for my minors... gosh! and this means books, books and loads of books~~

4. assignments.... u think its over, but its not... its like nightmare haunting each and everyone of us.. how i wish i can finish my assignments in my dream and wakin up finding that everythin is done... gosh, tats so kiddish of me! haha...

and this make me realise i hav little time to spend on myself and also to my someone... and bcoz of that, i wanna dedicate a special post to my someone soon~ haha.. so check it out soon... haha.. and before i end this post, i wanna say im afraid, nervous and worry... im havin all kind of feelings right now.. excited bcoz am gonna be in camp which wil be so fun n memorable, worry coz i noe my stamina is weak, nervous coz am afraid i dont have time to cope evrythin, and all kinds of thoughts come to me... i hope i can cope all of this before i break down and start pourin evrythin thru tears again... but now i noe who to find when i nid to cry...

=i wanna get over all this a.s.a.p=
Jenny~

updates~

ok, lets start updating... juz finish SBE (School Based Experience) last week... a tiring, fun (i guess) and memorable times in skool... so da program is like a must to all of us and will be conducted once evry semester.. ok da fun part is tat when ur given the chance to interact wit kids and that they juz pay attention to u when u conduct activity... so when i was standing in front of the class, it feels like ur on stage again, juz different audience... da boring part is when u hav no classes to go and u juz sit in da cold office for da whole day, doin nth.. haha.. oh well, i guess da second SBE will be done better...

next, like wat i posted previously... yes, im in love.. and im happy to be in love.. im not posting this to make ppl jealous or to show off that im in love... like wat i say, this is for sharing.. so if u dont wanna read this, leave... anywayz, yes im in love wit a guy whom i nvr thought i would fall for.. and da feeling is great.. and im happy to be in love wit him.. he is not perfect, handsome or anything.. but it my heart, he is always perfect and handsome.. hihi.... i don noe whether he will read this post, but if he's readin this, i wanna say, "me love u!"

furthermore, lotsa camps are comin around and activities and tests... ooo, am freaking out... coz im afraid im gonna break down again.. and i dont wanna procrastinate but it seems like i wanna juz get my mind off from work for a little while... oh well, i cant avoid work so yeah, hav to endure it... and right now, i cant wait to get some time off and spend it wit my loved one... haha..

last but not least, i love my life now... and i realise the best thing being a single once and da amazing feeling being loved.... i guess im juz lucky to find someone who loves me juz the way i am... thanx for da love! <3

=me love u!=
Jenny~

now.

Now, im able to say im in love...

=love without reasons are the most beautiful ones=
Jenny~

love story~

once upon a time, there is a girl named samantha... she never fell in love before but had went through several failed crushes... and tats da point when she prefer being single than being in any relationship.. she thinks that couple is trouble... and she thinks single is da best option... but inside, she longs for someone who juz love her for who she is and not bcoz of her appearance and stuffs like that... and she thought she wouldnt find someone like that in her life...

until a guy entered her life... she thought mayb this is the one.. he was super nice wit her... and it lasted for a period of life... she though she had fallen for him bcoz of his character and sweet words.. and she reli thought she will be able to find the right one for her... but when da truth was revealed, she was devastated again... a guy that been her best friend and a place where she confided her problems turn away from her when she is not needed.. and this again make her feel difficult and gave up on da chances to fall in love again... she thought every guy she met had made her like a pillow, hugged when needed and thrown aside when not needed...

but another guy entered her life.. and she didnt care much of him... since she believed that same thing will happen again.. but da funny part is that this guy seems like he doesnt care of whatever that is goin around him.. and she loves to be with him.. though his words are irritating but da way he says it make her laugh and feel enjoyable whenever he's there.. and he will always be at the spot where she can see him and laugh at his jokes.... and they maintained contact... textin one another and lookin after one another esp when she is sad and angry.... and she never knew she hav developed a feeling to him.. she isnt dare to confirm that feeling but then, da happiest day came..

he came with her favourite gift and presented her wit another surprise.. when she saw it a t first, she didnt understand what it is all about.. but soon, she knew it.. she IS in love wit this guy... and eventually, the guy confessed to her and they are now in a relationship... an unofficial one not bcoz she don wan anyone to know or she is ashamed about it.. she juz wanna have a peaceful relationship and that a lasting one.. coz she know that if she is heartbroken this time, she wouldnt be able to regain her heart again... but right now, she is simply enjoyin da feeling of being loved, cared and most important, to be heard and not be regarded as another pillow.... dont ask her why she chose him coz she simply don hav any reasons... and im praying that her relationship will stay long with this man she love deeply...

=samantha will owes love this guy=
Jenny

My hero~

me n daddy (2009)

Mariah Carey - hero

Hmm
There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

Oh oooh
Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way
Mhhh
That a hero lies in
You

~this song is dedicated to my daddy who has been a hero to me since i was small and till now.. though he seldom shows his love to us but i know deep inside, he has been striving so hard in order to keep us educated and to help us build a brighter future... i love my daddy a lot and am thankful that I have my daddy with me... God bless my daddy...

=i love my daddy=
Jenny~

love.

I love this keychain!

=surprises doesnt have to come out big n expensive=
Jenny~

i turn to you.

"I turn to You" - Christina Aguilera

When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way.
And when I'm scared,
And losing ground,
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.
And when I'm down you're there
pushing me to the top, girl.
You're always there,
giving me all you've got.

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true

When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and
I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing,
'Cause your love inspires me.
And when I need a friend,
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
that gets me through the night.


For the arms to be my shelter
through all the rain,
For truth that will never change,
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything,
For that one who I can run to...

a song that caught my heart tonite with its meaningful lyrics and i dedicate this song to my friends whom have protected me and to my dearest parents for givin me faith and trust... and this song is dedicated to u~
=i hope u will always be there for me=
Jenny~

me.

i love to write about ppl..
and i label them as "u", another "u"...
but now, i wanna write about "me"...
mayb those who read this might juz get some info bout "me"

i feel happy when someone think of me...
i feel happy when someone did something sweet to me...
doin things that are sweet to me doesnt necessarily be big...
simple things are enuf to make me smile da whole day...

there's another "u" who made me felt tat way...
but after givin me all da sweetness, he left..
left without an apparent reason...
and left me hangin, thinkin whether i shud forgiv him...
and now with "u" i kinda forget him bits by bits...
even now, im comfy to talk bout him without feeling angry or hatred...

maybe "me" is juz waitin for tis feeling to come..
and yet, im afraid..
would tis be temporary like last time?
or would it stay like tis for a long time?
i guess i shud hav not place so much hope on myself...
not tat i dont trust u..
but i don trust myself...

i hope one day,
wat i have been feelin all this while is correct...
and wat i think "u" felt is like wat i hav imagined...
bcoz if tat happen,
i would be happy to say,
im in <3

=still thinkin=
Jenny~

something for evryone~

FRIENDSHIP FOREVER

Two inseparable friends, Sam and Jason, met with an accident on their way to Boston City. The following morning, Jason woke up blind and Sam was still unconscious. Dr. Berkeley was standing at his bedside looking at his health chart and medications with a thoughtful expression on his face. When he saw Sam awake, he beamed at him and asked." How are you feeling today Sam?" Sam tried to put up a brave face and smiled back saying, "absolutely wonderful Doctor. I am very grateful for all that you have done for me. "Dr Berkeley was moved at Sam's deed. All that he could say was, "You are a very brave man Sam and God will make it up to you in one way or another". While he was moving on to the next patient, Sam called back at him almost pleading, "promise me you won't tell Jason anything".
"You know I won't do that. Trust me." and walked away.
"Thank you " whispered Sam. He smiled and looked up in prayer " I hope I live up to your ideas...please give me the strength to be able to go through this..Amen"

Months later when Jason had recuperated considerably, he stopped hanging around with Sam. He felt discouraged and embarrassed to spend time with a disabled person like Sam.
Sam was lonely and disheartened ,since he didn't have any body else other than Jason to count on. Things went from bad to worse. And one day Sam died in despair. When Jason was called on his burial, he found a letter waiting for him. Dr Berkeley gave it to him with an expressionless face and said" This is for you Jason. Sam had asked me to give it to you when he was gone".

In the letter he had said: " Dear Jason, I have kept my promise in the end to lend you my eyes if anything had happened to them. Now there is nothing more that I can ask from God, than the fact ,that will see the world through my eyes. You will always be my best friend........Sam".
When he had finished reading Dr. Berkeley said " I had promised Sam to keep his sacrifice he made a secret from you. But now I wish I didn't stick it Because I don't think It was worthy it" .
All that was left for Jason while he stood there was tears of regret and memories of Sam for the rest of his life .

Lesson of the story: No matter what, If we make a friend, we should stick by him till the end. Life is meaningless without a friend.

~friends are not like lovers... lovers come and might leave... friends come and never leave.. tats y i love my friends a lot... ~
Jenny~

lonely`

holidays were meant to be with family or loved ones... and guess wat, im stuck in my room, sleepin alone since my rumet went back and wit da piles of assignments, i forgot its holidays... i thought it was juz da normal weekend where u will wake up and find urself at da same position doin da same job...

i cant wait for mid sem break bcoz im goin home... home!! i miss home a lot.. i miss food cooked by my mum, miss da chit chat wit her n my dad, miss all da bickering and shoutin wit my sis, miss my tv and also da relaxin condition.. but b4 da MID SEM BREAK, i hav to undergo so many trials, stress and activities that juz keep takin my time away.... BIG, assignments, PBS (SBE), all those compulsory activities, MUET, UAK.... gosh, if i knew i have to undergo this much in degree, i would hav appreciate my time in foundation...

so for juniors, appreciate ur time when ur in foundation.. haha.. anywayz, im lonely tonite... someone drop some love to me tonite... haiz~

=i wish ur here=
Jenny~

happy~

these days, i keep smiling...
happy for no apparent reason...
but am sure am not crazy...

ppl say im gettin to da feeling..
and yet i insist im not...
not bcoz i don wanna feel it...
but bcoz im afraid im wrong...

if im given a chance,
i'll would like to shout out,
but now isnt da time...
when time comes,
da right word will be told...

=some words are meant for da rite person=
Jenny

updates~

sori for not updatin for a period of time.. find it lazy to keep updatin but hav to.. haha. anywayz, holidays have started 2 days ago and yeah, wats da point of holiday if it is not meant to have fun.. oh well, my vacation plan didnt go well.. we actually plan to go kudat but due to da recent event where tsunami hit Japan severely and all warnings were implied so yeah, kudat was also feared to get hit by any possible chances of tsunami.. so, since my parents are super worried bout me and wat more, i myself was a bit scared, so cancel da plan and came back from kk on sunday...

oh well, evrythin happens for a reason.. haha.. den, assignments were like hauntin me when im back from kk... i can juz see da questions lying on my table and yet im so lazy to start doin it... gosh! i simply cant wait for march and april to pass by as soon as possible so that i can go home real fast.. i miss home, tv and da freedom from exams, activities and studies... haiz~

but i guess evrythin happen for a good cause.. but im not all alone during da holidays... it seems like things are goin pretty well for me.. haha.. but overall, im feelin happy and i guess i felt im appreciated...

=love=
Jenny~

count on me~

if you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea
i'll sail the world to find you
if you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see
i'll be the light to guide you
find out what we're made of
when we are called to help our friends in need

you can count on me like one, two, three
i'll be there
and i know when i need it
i can count on you like four, three, two
and you'll be there
cos that's what friends are suppose to do
oh yeah
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
(yeah yeah)

if you're tossing and you're turning and you just can't fall asleep
i'll sing a song beside you
and if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
everyday i will remind you
oh
find out what we're made of
when we are called to help our friends in need

you can count on me like one, two, three
i'll be there
and i know when i need it
i can count on you like four, three, two
and you'll be there
cos that's what friends are suppose to do
oh yeah
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
(yeah yeah)

you'll always have my shoulder when you cry
i'll never let go, never say good-bye

you know you can count on me like one, two, three
i'll be there
and i know when i need it
i can count on you like four, three, two
and you'll be there
cos that's what friends are suppose to do
oh yeah
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
you can count on me cos i can count on you...

i super love this song which is by bruno mars bcoz it somehow reflect on my friendship.. so this song is dedicated to all my friends namely stef, fi, lulu, suk ching, lorderizk, ah yew, ah bas and evryone tat i love to call em as my friend... love all of u so much! <3

food~

i realised that i super love to eat.. i mean of course i do watch out wat i eat since i dont wanna get allergies again, but i love food.. i rather spend my money on food than go shopping... but da problem is i have to watch out my weight... well, i dont wanna be fat bcoz of my excessive love on food so yeah, control!

so i went to have steamboat tonite and this is my first time doin so... am so lucky to have seniors like them who are willing to bring me and my friends out for dinner... and the best thing is they know i love to eat so yeah, they noe where's da rite place for me... hihi... i love u ppl!

so ate till full and im reli happy.. dont noe why but yeah, am happy tonite.. i guess my "auntie" hasnt come yet so my mood is like changin evry second, minute, hour and days... haha.. oh well, sori if i pissed anyone off since i have unstable mood these days... i'll be ok when my "auntie" comes.. haha... oh well, simple said, food makes me happy and yeah, i love food!

=thanx for bein at da place whr i need u da most!=
Jenny~

maybe..

maybe miracles will work itself again...
maybe im gonna feel it again...
maybe i will giv chances to myself again...
maybe i will open up and become da real me again...

=if this is meant for me, maybe i'll accept it=
Jenny~

lucky~

last nite was like da most shockin nite ever when i found out tat my aunt actually helped me book my tickets to kl since i asked my fren to book it d... and guess wat, da total amount for both the tickets were rm 500 ++.. and i was like a zombie last nite, now knowin wat shud i d... i was so sad, depressed and disappointed wit myself... and den, little rays of light enter and somehow made me shine for a while... and class was depressin though first subject was fun...

i juz dont understand why do our class have to undergo so many matters... sometimes i get this feeling where i wished i was in da junior's class instead.. mayb life would be better... but i guess these are challenges given by God so that we can mature out of this eh... anywayz, got a good news from MAS airlines stating that they will refund da ticket that my aunt have helped me booked so yeah, i do not hav to worry about tat anymore... was so glad that evrythin is finally settled... thank be to God...

tomolo would be "merentas desa" and yeah, im participatin again tis yr... though i noe my own limits but hopefully i could finish da race like last yr... i noe i wont get any place but its fun.. reli fun and tiring of course,,, haha..

= unknowingly, ur da ray of light=
Jenny~

coming soon~

holidays are cominn reli soon and guess wat, nxt week is holidays... but im not goin home since my family told me that it is nt necessary... so am gonna be back in another 2 more months which is on May... im a bit sad since most of my classmates are gonna be back home while im gonna stuck in this place which is not reli wat i had in my mind...

so im hopin that da holiday plans that we have will be workin rite... coz im thinkin of goin to trip either to labuan or kudat... of course wit my seniors and my bff.. haha.. but am not sure wats gonna happen lah.. juz hopin for a best and fun holiday before cramming my head with studies... and how i wish he would go.. at least someone will accompany me though he irritates me as well as makin me laugh with his words... so wait for da latest update to know whether im goin anywhere during da hols... haha...

=life is all about work and fun=
Jenny~

U.

U came into my life unexpectedly...
and when u entered my life, someone else went missing again...
i havent thought about tis when i first met u..
but now, im thinking...
why do u appear in my life and create memories for me?

im not in love with you...
yet i cant deny that i do like you as a friend...
but im holdin on strongly...
that i will oni love those who loves me..

and now im afraid...
will u leave me like others?
or will u stay and bcome someone that im able to trust?

=im afraid im fallin again=
Jenny

happy weekend~

me in archery~ woohoo!

da sisters~

juz a few of us~ din get to take da whole group's pic~

me in my dinner dress~

game arcade!!

sorry for da late updates... i was havin so much fun during da weekends and yeah, it sure became one of my most memorable experience... we went to kk on last sat for a post-reunion dinner so a total of 23 of us went together... it comprises of us, da juniors and also our seniors... and reached there around 10am and tats when fun starts...

i got myself big apple donuts which are my FAVOURITE! and then of course, i left my bestie with her boyfriend which is also a senior and a crazy fren of mine.. haha.. but of course i had a lot of fun with others includin my juniors and phyll, a fren of mine.. we went and played games in arcade which was so cool coz i never been there and da games were addictive... and then, we went to archery in which i felt reli awesome playin it... it was so cool when u aimed at a target and got it in a shot... awesome and cheap... haha...

then we ate and played so i dont have any time to shop... oh well, i realised that shopping isnt my favourite except if i hav somethin in my mind... i juz dont like wastin my time walkin into evry stores in da world and looking around when im not even buyin.. so yeah, i prefer games or somethin tat i can feel fun and different.... of course entering stores where cute accessories and stuffs like tat are ok wit me lah... haha...

so da dinner was at nite and though it didnt reli fulfill wat was in my mind, i had da best time ever... i din noe my juniors are super funny and i felt like my age when im wit them... i was able to be myself and i felt extremely comfy wit them... haha.. though thrs one who reli gets on my nerve, but i noe he's simply nice even though he didnt show it directly... haha...

and da sweetest thing happened to me,... someone sponsored me big apple donuts! and da best thing is that tat person actually sponsored me something that i love da most and i think its sweet of him doin so though he was like tryin to irritate me again and again... and yeah, sunday became a day where i fel reli happy.. haha... to tat fren, thanx for lending ur shoulder again... its my first time experience and yeah, i felt da warmth in him... thanx again...

=how i wish da board was ur heart=
Jenny~