31.03.2013

so yeah, today is the last day of March and its gonna be April soon tomorrow..
and its a good month coz like what i say, its gonna be my bday soon!
but its gonna be a super busy month since i hav a lot of stuffs to do..

somehow, when i reaches this stage, i felt like my time in this college is going to end soon..
and im gonna miss all my friends who have been with me for the past few years..
somehow u felt sad coz ur separating with ur family here..
but life must go on right?
i guess i'll spend time in taking and capturing every single memory whenever i can...
at least i have something to remember right?

so i have prepared myself physically for the practicum..
have double check on my stuffs, making sure that on the first day, i have something to do..
and i seriously hope that everything is going well..
and i am nervous.. i dont know how my students are and whether they can accept me or not..
sigh...
i hope, seriously hope they are ok and not naughty coz my temper is bad....
huhuhuhuhu....

well, there's no point of worryin if we dont start doing something right?
so i could only surrender all my worries and anxiety to God coz i know He will do what should be done..
and i hope i can make little changes in these children's life..
and may all of my hairs dont turn gray due to overthinking..
and may this practicum makes me slim like i used to.. hahaha..
gotta stop writing b4 i wish for even more random stuffs..
anywayz, wish me all da best ya, my favourite readers.. =D

Jenny~

30.03.2013

yeah, its gonna mark the end of march and april is coming..
the month that i love the most coz its my birthday soon!
and im gonna be turning to the legal age like in two weeks...
and holidays back in college was ok..
not too bad but of course, cant compared to home...
and i cant wait to take the first flight out for home in may..

so now, what's bugging me are:
1. Practicum aka practical where we are all sent to different schools and teach.. and this is nerve-wrecking for me coz i tend to be soft and all smiles when the kids listen to me for the first few days.. and of course, my school is like the furthest and i have to travel back and forth from tat school.. and im worried of my pupils' proficiency level which might be quite low, looking at where they stayed.. but i hope that these first impression would not make me give up on them...

2. Public speaking competition in KL.. this is gonna happen in a week time and i havent memorise my text and im not ready... i mean honestly, this is my first time taking part though i saw how my ex-classmates went through it last time and got tips on how to deal with it.. though i am confident with my language, i am not confident with the pace of my speech since i speak really fast without knowing it, when im nervous.. so that's my main problem.. haha...

and last but not least, life is like riding a train.. someone boards in the train and say hello, create memories and then leave.. sometimes, i feel like my train has already moved from one station to another.. but sadly, it is juz an imagination coz it hasnt move an inch from the previous station it stopped...

Jenny~

25.03.2013

so everytime i update my blog,
my readers would go like, "here we go again"..
"Jenny is gonna be talking bout her pathetic love life and stuffs like that.."
so yeah, im gonna change course for a while and talk about something serious..
and it happened this morning when i read an article about how our own local graduates are losing out in this globalisation thingy..
and u might or might not know why this happens...
well, the reason is due to their lack of proficiency in English..

ok, English is important..
i mean when u travel around the world, looking for a good job opportunity and yeah, widen our horizon for knowledge, we need to have the skills in English..
and i super agree on one aspect in the article where it stated that the graduates nowadays are good in written only, but when it comes to speaking skills, it is least satisfactory..
i mean, we should embrace English language and learn it like how we learn to make cakes..
even if we are not as proficient in it like the native speakers, why cant we just be confident and do it..
teachers' roles are important.. if the teacher dont speak proper English, there goes the English down the drain..
if parents do not expose their kids to the language, there goes the English down the sewer..
if the government are not doing enough to uphold English as much they are doing to uphold Bahasa Malaysia, sorry to say but the statistics are going to increase day by day..

i mean u must be wondering why do i care bout this so much right?
i guess because of my passion in English..
i love this language like how much i love food (very!)
i mean by getting myself proficient in this language, it makes me confident no matter where i am..
i know that by knowing how to speak the language, it would be easy for me to mingle around with ppl, convey what i think or what i feel..
and make myself understood by other people..
and da best thing ever is when ppl who doesnt speak in English suddenly have the drive to speak it bcoz ur motivating them..
and that is the main reason why im so concern with English..
i hope my future kids are good in this language like myself..
and i hope my future partner can accept my language aka mandarin mixed with English.. haha..

anywayz, i seriously hope that this language can stand strong and embraced by everyone without makin a political issue or historical issue on it.. =)
Jenny~

24.03.2013

Jenny~

22.03.2013

today marks the first day on the march hols..
and it also marks to me the resting period for me before heading back to another bz life..
and guess waht,
i cancelled my plan to go home..
one part coz  wanna finish my work here before practicum starts..
and another one, im still holding on miracles..

sometimes, i feel like i still care too much..
and bcoz of that, i feel sad..
ppl tell me to take it slowly and soon, i'll be ok..
but for me, the process of being fully and completely ok seems so far..
when im in my friends' company, i dont think bout it and felt good..
but when im all alone like now, all the memories juz came to me and yeah, break my heart again..

so what should i do?
let time heal me?
i dont know.

Jenny~

19.03.2013

today was a turning point of my life once upon a time.
a time where my life went from being alone into being in a relationship..
a time where i experience what i have wished for all this while..
and a time in which i did not see the end..

but today, it became another turning point in my life..
a time where my life went back to the old and usual routine..
a time where i experienced what i saw ppl going thru with so much hardships and tears..
and a time in which i do not know when will be the end..

thanx for the memories that were given to me during this date, once upon a time..
thanx for everything..

Jenny~

17.03.2013

are u a fan of "How I Met Your Mother?" series?
if u watched that series, i bet u would remember this scene..
whr marshall and lily were in a pub talking to robin who just broke up with barney..
though robin looks cool and happy with her single life, they didnt know the truth in her..
so when marshall and lily were saying about how barney starts looking for another new girl and how he looks after his appearance and stuffs like that, robin could only kept a straight face..
and eventually she cried in a place where no one sees her..
because she doesnt want ppl to see how fragile and weak is she..
though she was no longer attached to barney, but all those words still hurts her..

and guess what, i was in robin' state yesterday..
some words or jokes still hurts, in case u dont know..
im not as strong like others who could accept everything and laugh it off..
those feelings are fading but it is still there..
and da scars will bleed again when it is touched...
and mayb because of that, i was like robin, looking for somewhere to hide all these tears away..
but eventually i found a better place to shed all those sadness..
nature has brought me to a better place..
listening to taylor swift and had a long walk made this heart feel better...

i guess im still weak and fragile..
Jenny~

14.03.2013

guess what, am blogging this post in the dark since its raining and my rumet is sleeping..
and why do i hav to post at such hours?
coz i dont have anymore time later to blog or even to take a breath...
i should be lying down on my bed and getting some rest before another round of exhaustion..
but am sitting here writing this post..

this post is to remind me,
how sensitive i am..
how fragile i am,
how weak i am,
how bad-tempered i am..

this week is really putting my mood into a challenging  one..
one that i cannot control myself..
everyone beside me seems so annoying..
and da ones who i wish to approach ignore me..
or make me felt even sensitive..
blame who?
blame me and my complicated mood.

nothing is gonna remain da same..
everything is bound to change..
but the only one who cant accept it is me..

moments i hate is the moments u make me feel like im da worst person in the world,,,
Jenny~

9.03.2013

so, since i havent been posting much of my current pics in this blog.. so these are me... always stay awesome no matter what you are doing! coz life is always awesome.. =)

the awesome me.. hahaha....

me and my bestie~~ =D

me in the early of the year.. =)

and us, the awesome team who gave all our best to win... and we're always be a winner..

Jenny~

8.03.2013

~Did you ever feel that what you think is right might be wrong?~

Got this from one of the blog that i have been following..
and somehow it reflects me...

i mean i was thinking of doing something which i myself dont know whether it is right or wrong..

after stumbling to his blog and got this statement, somehow it makes think back..

is it right to do it?

even if it feels like it is the right thing to do now, but will i regret of doing it later on?

will it make me feel awkward again when i meet him back?

so, somehow this guy lighten me up..

and there are several nice quotes (i think) that somehow makes me think a lot..

somehow u can say it inspires me in writing a post... haha...

one of it is this:

do you prefer to be happy all the time or is being sad a good experience?

so what do you think?

which do you prefer?

if its me, being happy all the time is my wish..

but without feeling sad and cry, i wouldnt know how life is truly is..

without the heartaches and scars, i wouldnt know how love is truly is..

so i guess being happy is important but maybe we should learn something from the sadness that we might feel at times..

maybe there is something good in it if we look at it in another perspectives, right?

credit to : http://apistakkisah.blogspot.com

Jenny~

4.03.2013

sometimes its the memories that kills,

sometimes its the loneliness that makes it too unbearable,

sometimes the thought of it that creates tear,

sometimes the regrets that makes it too painful,

one day i'm strong and the next day, i fall back to my old place..

one day, i smile and the next day, i shed tears with my pillow..

one day, i shine brightly and the next day, i hide in darkness..

one day, i enjoyed being with everyone and the next day, i just wanna hide myself under my blankets..

maybe that's me..

so unpredictable at times..

if and only if i have the "delete" button..

maybe i would not have to go through all these..

Jenny~

new principle?

i learnt one more thing.
if u want to start a relationship, start one where u know u would not waste ur time..
if u just wanna start a relationship for the sake of having a companion, having someone to hug u, having someone who hold ur hands but never thought of the future, then why waste time?
and sometimes i dont get how some ppl says that they are not in a relationship with this guy or girl.. but calling him or her all the pet names and yet insist that they are currently single? weird, confusing and frustrating for me..

for my friends who thinks getting engaged and married is something so wonderful and magical, i have several questions for you.
1. are you ready to be committed with your one and only husband or wife for the rest of your life?
2. are you ready to sacrifice for your one and only husband or wife after getting married?
3. are you ready to have kids?
4. are you ready to juggle your time between becoming a faithful wife or husband and work without neglecting one another?
5. are you sure you are able to become a good wife and a mother or a good husband and a father?
6. are you ready to accept everything about your husband or wife as in everything?
and last but not least, are you sure you would not regret and turn back, saying that you would rather enjoy your carefree life first before getting married?

so to those who wanna get married or engaged,
if u have found someone whose worth it and someone you really know like the back of your hand,
if you have found someone whom you are able to accept his or her weaknesses and accept his or her as he or she is,
if you have someone whom you have attached to for a good period of time for you to know that person well, then i would really encourage you to do so..

if not, dont sacrifice for something that you might never know when you will regret... dont get engaged or married just for the sake u are jealous seeing others are doing the same thing... and dont get engaged or married just for the sake of thinking it would be happy and everlasting like in the movies.. it isnt coz it is filled with responsibilities and commitments which is easier said than done..

as for me, i need a break from all these things.. so am not thinking about marriage and getting engaged.. the most important thing is for me to graduate, work and earn money for my family.. relationship? engagement? marriage? i leave it to God..

Jenny~

2.03.2013

Part 2 is currently unavailable.. haha... maybe coz the post might hurt ppl's feelings or might cause me to get in trouble with the authorities back in my college.. so i decided to just skip that part.. hehe... so yeah, we've entered March... a month filled with lots of assignments, presentations and events to go...

and guess what, i'm 0.05% charged up for all these.. in other words, am super lazy to even look at those courseworks or presentations.. so someone pls lead me to a pool of inspiration where i can take a dip and get inspired to complete everythin quickly, pls... haha...

and bcoz im so lazy, so i'll end this blog post here...

may all those whose reading this to start closing ur tabs especially facebook, and start heading back to ur work ya.. hehe..

Jenny~